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Another Mentor Inspiration…My Nana!

on January 15, 2015January 15, 2015 By kellyfairthementor

As January is National Mentoring Month. I want to take the time to share with you one of my most favorite people…my Nana! She has inspired me in many ways, including in my mentoring career. My Nana showed me that mentoring takes many different forms. One way that people can be mentors to their community, is by having a commitment to service. My Nana was an usher for 63 years!

As you read about my Nana, think about the people in your life who have inspired you. What have they taught you about mentoring or giving back to the community?

nana at bbq shop — Nana at her BBQ restaurant in Morgan Park

My mom always shared with me that our family has always instinctively served our community. My grandmother was dedicated to singing and playing the piano for her church choir at Resurrection Lutheran. My great-grandmother was the precinct captain in our old neighborhood, and made sure people in our community were equipped effectively to vote and cause change. And when the dire need presented itself years ago, as a father and local businessman, my grandpa purchased the first microscope for the black middle school in small south suburban village my mom grew up in. And, then of course there was my other great-grandmother, Maggie Peebles, who we all lovingly called “Nana.” Nana was an usher for 63 years at Arnette Chapel in the Morgan Park community here on the south side of Chicago. What a testament to service and commitment that is!

Years ago, Arnette Chapel decided to start a girls mentoring program, and during a Sunday service they asked girls to stand next to the woman who they wanted to mentor them. To her surprise, a young woman came and stood next to Nana. She couldn’t believe it. Nana hadn’t finished elementary school, and although she had owned her own barbecue restaurant for a short time, she was primarily a domestic worker. She was amazed that a young girl would want to be mentored by her, because she didn’t feel that she had anything substantial to offer this girl. But, what she didn’t realize was that this girl and many others looked up to Nana because of her strong commitment to servicing her church and community. Nana was not only this strong, but loving and sweet, usher ready to take her post every Sunday. But, she was also one of the primary cooks serving up those chicken dinners after service in the church basement. And, everybody loved Nana, because Nana always made sure EVERYBODY had enough to eat!

In today’s society, it’s easy to understand that many of us are just “keeping are heads above water.” Many of us are primarily focused on economic and professional attainment to improve the status for ourselves and our immediate families. In this new millennium, it’s hard to imagine how anyone can keep a commitment to a volunteer position for 63 years, when it seems staying with the same job, and most marriages don’t make it for 5-10 years. But, with the challenges were having in our community with violence, poor education, and struggling family and community infrastructures, how can we not find time to tithe our time much in the way that Nana, and many of our parents, grand parents, and elders did? We are who we are today and experience the success and freedoms we do, because our elders made a sacrifice to tithe their time, talents, and service to the betterment of their community and the betterment of their future us. What a self-less investment? Nana, and her fellow ushers didn’t take “selfies” or group pics after they served on Sundays and post them to Facebook or Instagram to show all their social media followers and fans how they were “holding it down” for their community. Nope, they just did the work often with no obvious recognition. Service was a part of their lifestyle.

So, it’s essentially our duty to make sure that we are doing the same in our old communities for the next generation, whether they be children in your family or not. We are all one family. So, no excuses you have to find the time volunteer at least once a month. You have to find time to make a phone call or email a week to that teenager who you know is in need of some guidance. Or, if you’re a practitioner like me, stick with your work! And, despite all of the set backs and challenges don’t give up and continue to serve.

A commitment to service is definitely a lifestyle choice I hope more of us choose to adopt because SERVICE is a cornerstone of mentoring!

Women on the Web: Interviews with Women Mentors You Should Know!

on December 11, 2014December 11, 2014 By kellyfairthementor

At KellyFairtheMentor.com, we had the opportunity to interview two beautiful, influential women–Cameka Smith of BOSS Network and Cynthia Boykin of What U Need Is… We are happy to share with you a combined presentation of their insights and inspirations for mentoring and strengthening community!

First, a little bio on our wonderful Women on the Web. Cameka Smith is the founder of BOSS Network. With a Master’s in Education, Cameka has dedicated herself to supporting the entrepreneurial spirit in women. As BOSS Network so succinctly and powerfully describes their founder, “Speaker, trainer, and award-winning entrepreneur…BOSS Network has evolved into a go-to resource for companies seeking female influencers as their target market. A one-stop-shop for career and entrepreneurial minded women”.

Cynthia Boykin, “The Master Networker”, is the founder of What U Need Is…an essential connection between businesses and consumers in Chicago. As is said about the founder, “Cynthia is known for being able to build relationships connecting the right people together skillfully and swiftly.”

What Are They Proud Of?

Both of these women are proud of the paths their lives have taken…with some overlap! Cameka Smith finds pride in her educational achievement. Coming from “an environment where most of my peers were looked at as a statistic”, her MA in Education helps her to work for change in her community! When her students follow their dreams she is able to see the impact she has had on youth–their successes are her successes; a constant reward. Her transition into BOSS Network only added to her positive influence in her community. Speaking of BOSS Network, Cynthia Boykin is proud to be on the leadership board! Through this opportunity she was able to meet one of her mentors, Beverly Johnson (first black woman on the cover of Vogue). Following in her mentors footsteps, Cynthia was honored by being on the cover of Black Pages International Magazine in 2011 and 2012! She’s proud to be part of such a vibrant, successful community of women entrepreneurs and business owners.

Who Have Been Their Mentors, Their Motivators?

Cynthia Boykin cannot think of a positive influence on her life without remembering her mother. Cynthia says that she is a “woman who lead by example”. In 1952 she joined the Women’s Army Corps, pushing gender boundaries to find fulfillment in her life. Similarly, Cameka Smith sees the “every day women in her life”, her mother and aunts, as her greatest motivators. She came from a big, connected, and loving family that always maintained faith and commitment to one another and community. The very women she works with through the BOSS Network are her mentors. They keep her sharp and engaged as they eagerly strive to network and succeed. Both of these women have found that the women in their lives have been role models. They have shown Cynthia and Cameka positive, successful examples of women; whether that is mother and wife or business owner and entrepreneur. Cynthia gave a warmly appreciated shout out to Kelly Fair, citing her work with Polished Pebbles as one of the best young girls mentoring program in Chicago. Thank you Ms. Cynthia Boykin!

Polished Pebbles works to provide these examples of women to our girls. As we have learned from Cameka and Cynthia, this can positively influence their self-perception, and goal setting! When surrounded by such intelligent, strong women it is hard not to set such high goals!

Do They Think Their Mentors? …Because We Sure Do!

Cameka Smith first saw herself as a mentor when she began her career in education. She saw the need to provide positive role models for her students and other youth, so she acted! She began to create mentor programs for students. She wanted to showcase young professionals; let them “see what they can become” from “all walks of life”. Although she artfully evaded the question, we are here to tell her, Cameka Smith, you are a mentor! She encourages youth, especially young girls, to join mentoring programs to push their visions and extend their platforms. Giving another evasion, Cynthia Boykin described herself as a possible example for other women. We are also here to tell her, Cynthia Boykin, you are a mentor! She is a great resource connector and networker for her clients and community. She will use anything she has and can get to support those she can, utilizing a “I got mine, now let me help you get yours” mentality. She sees her sponsorship, encouragement, and support as an investment in great, upcoming people, businesses, and organizations–future change-makers! They both see their clients and peers as a reciprocal relationship; both teachers and learners, supporters and supported.

Now, What Do They Hope To See From Their Communities?

Both Cynthia Boykin and Cameka Smith want to see you, yes you readers, contributing to your communities! They can be through time, gifts, resources, or any other way of getting involved. Cameka reminds us all that “if you have lived on this earth, then you have something that you’ve been through…that you can share with another person”. So, do just that! She would like to see more community involvement in mentoring programs for youth (at Polished Pebbles, we agree!). Cameka sees women of color as essential contirbuters to their communities because they are natural role models and leaders. Thinking on an organizational level, Cynthia Boykin echoes the same goal, but for businesses! She wants to see more community center businesses that are dedicated to the growth of their communities. If they build reciprocal relationships, then businesses can connect more with their consumers!

We all need hope in our lives. Only by sharing our stories, experiences, advice, and wisdom with others can we encourage hope to grow!

Thank You, Cameka Smith And Cynthia Boykin!

These two women have been so supportive of Polished Pebbles and the work that we do with our girls, that we want to take the time to thank them for the work that they do! By creating their networks, they are able to connect mostly women of color with essential resources to grow their businesses and names. Without them, there would definitely be less sharing and caring here in Chicago. We hope you see the positve impact you have on individuals, organizations, and communities…because we do!

Readers, get to know these women entrepreneurs, these fellow Women on the Web!

KFair Mentoring Tip #1: Diversity in Leadership

on October 23, 2014October 23, 2014 By kellyfairthementor

This is the first KFair Mentoring Tip in a series of monthly insights to provide guidance and encouragement for mentors and entrepreneurs. To keep with October’s theme of women entrepreneurs, this month’s mentoring tip is about diverse leadership.

To keep it short, WE NEED IT!

According to Tracy Williams from Unsectored:

“It is important for the leadership of organizations to appropriately reflect the demographics of the population it seeks to serve…and understands the culture, unique pressures and obstacles…”

10628174_10205217565419027_587742119032677761_n — Kelly Fair with new friends, connections, colleagues, and leaders at Opportunity Collaboration in Ixtapa, Mexico.

As you may know, I spent the last week at an Opportunity Collaboration workshop in Ixtapa, Mexico. The goal of this workshop? To introduce global leaders in social change to one another! The diverse group of people present at this workshop not only led to valuable connections, but also new perspectives, talents, and thought processes we can all learn from.

Again, Williams talks about a similar goal with her call for diversity in thought leadership:

“When combating complex interconnected social problems…leaders are needed from various backgrounds to attack the problem innovatively.”

Her three steps for increasing diversity in leadership roles:

Invest in Talent
Build a Leadership Pipeline
Build Networks across the Sectors–not only across public, private, and non-profit sectors, but sectors of individual identity as well!

Young, African-American girls need to see older, professional women who look like them succeeding in leadership roles! That has been the continuous message this month. By seeing black women as leaders, they will start to see themselves as developing leaders and act as such. You can help support our youth by taking on leadership roles yourselves, or by electing others for leadership positions.

Let’s change the system!

Can African-American Women Lean In?

on October 8, 2014October 8, 2014 By kellyfairthementor

Sheryl Sandberg, the current Chief Operations Officer (COO) of Facebook, inspired many women with her book Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead. She has three main tips for women to not only succeed in the workplace, but breakthrough societal barriers of sexism:

Sit at the table
Make your partner a real partner
Don’t leave before you leave

Listen to her Lean In Ted Talk to learn more about these three tips and her path to success!

While women (and men) are agreeing with Sheryl Sandberg, African-American women are questioning whether “leaning in” is enough for success. According to Natasha Robinson from Urban Faith, Sheryl Sandberg, while admonishing the systems of sexism that are holding women back, remains silent on barriers of race. This has caused her to question whether Sandberg recognizes her own white privilege. While this does not eliminate or diminish the successes of Sandberg, it does mean that opportunities had been present in her life that most likely would not have been for a woman of color.

In this article, Natasha Robinson interviews Dr. Livers, the Senior Design Faculty of the global Center of Creative Leadership in Greensboro, North Carolina. Dr. Livers states, “She wrote a book for professional women and she wrote from the perspective of a privileged white woman. However, just because her perspective is somewhat limited, does not mean that others who do not share her privilege cannot benefit from reading her book.”

In an excerpt from Sheryl Sandberg’s new book, Lean In: For Graduates, Ariel Investments President Mellody Hobson, an African American woman, shares how black women are prepared for life long discrimination in their professional lives. In the excerpt, Melody states, “All women struggle, but women of color must overcome ‘double jeopardy’, the one-two punch of sexism and racism. The achievement gap between women and men is even larger in the African-American and Latino communities than it is in the White community.”

As a mentoring professional, I’m driven to determine how do I adapt the Lean In discussion for the young African American I serve in communities, schools, and college campuses across the country.What are your thoughts on Lean In? How can we adapt the Lean In discussion for African-American women of all ages?