Can Mentoring Break The Prison Pipeline?

School To Prison Pipeline

By Tamara Meyerhoff, Polished Pebbles Intern

My mentoring responsibilities aren’t limited just to working with the school age -girls and female college students in Polished Pebbles.  I also find a tremendous about of satisfaction mentoring college/graduate interns as well.  I’m proud to share this blog post that was written by one of our summer interns Tamara Meyerhoff.  Tamara is a senior at St. Olaf College in Northfield, Minnesota. She is majoring in Social Work with a concentration in Family Studies. This summer she attended the Chicago Center for Urban Life and Culture in Hyde Park. Through her classes she was able to experience the culture of Chicago, from the South Side to the North Side. Tamara also completed two part-time internships–one with me at Polished Pebbles, and the other with United African Organization.

As national news continually reports the alarming increase in gun violence in Chicago, I’d like to share with you this infographic from Tavis Smiley Reports on PBS. The school to prison pipeline is the education and juvenile justice system working in tandem to incarcerate mostly lower class minorities. According to the article, schools will unfairly target minority students to be criminally charged for minor acts. As the graphic shows, in 2013, 70% of in-school arrests were of black or Latino youth. Even more shocking, black and Latino students are 3.5 times for likely to be suspended than white students.

The author believes that this harsh reality affects the self-perception of black youth. By constantly being surrounded by a negative stereotype, they start to believe they are nothing more than that stereotype—violent, aggressive, hot-tempered, and criminal. Polished Pebbles is one organization working to fight against the cycle of the school to prison pipeline. It does this in a subtle way. The Polished Pebbles curriculum changes the way African-American girls perceive themselves as young black women. One high school student reported, “Before Polished Pebbles, I had a horrible attitude. Now, I learned that I have to control my attitude because those same people can help me with my future”. Listen to Polished Pebbles success Pertesha share her story through the foster care system. Furthermore, these girls have dreams of becoming doctors, dentists, and even accountants.

These girls have grown because they were surrounded by role models who told them they are capable and deserving individuals. As the article has shown, this is where the school system has been failing black youth. It is here that organizations, communities, and individuals can begin to break the school to prison pipeline.

Share with us in the comments below what can you do in your community to help one youth from entering the school to prison pipeline?

tamara meyerhoff

Tamara Meyerhoff, Polished Pebbles Intern

 

 

 

 

 

 

Celebrating Another Year of Mentoring Girls in Chicago!

As you complete either major projects, summer initiatives, or even programming years with your youth mentoring programs, it’s always important to celebrate your victories through documentation and photographs.  It’s a great way to historically document your achievements as an organization, the achievements of the youth that you serve, demonstrate the achievements of contributing staff and volunteers, and it also serves as some evidence of your potential impact as a youth mentoring program.  This celebratory documentation can be in the format of individualized letters or communications with pictures directed towards specific stakeholders like partnering schools, organizations, and sponsors. You can share it in printed or electronic newsletters, or on social media as well.  And, it also can give you a great opportunity to motivate potential donors to give to your organization as well.  So, to mark the end of another successful programming year with my mentoring program Polished Pebbles I’ve decided to share some of our year-end newsletter with you!  Enjoy!

And, if you feel moved….you can donate to Polished Pebbles Girls Mentoring Program here: GIVE!!!

Thanks,

Kelly

KellyFairTheMentor

 

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Spends His Downtime From Harpo Studios Supporting Youth Mentoring!

corey lewis

More Than One Way to Support Youth Mentoring

Over the years, as we’ve continued our work with Polished Pebbles Girls Mentoring Program, we’ve been fortunate to have our work supported by a network of 300+ volunteers within the Chicagoland area, and across the country.  So often, lots of people always say to me that they want to support our girls by mentoring at our Saturday and after school sites.  But, like all of us, there’s other priorities in life that can sometimes prevent us from making that level of commitment.

Last week I shared the story of one of our volunteers, Danielle Sackie Mensah,  who lives in New York and decided to contribute to our work with Polished Pebbles, even though she couldn’t come out and physically mentor our girls  at one of our sites.  Danielle designed our Women in The Workplace Timeline poster that we gave away to our girls to celebrate Women’s History Month.  This week, I was to share with you the profile of another young professional filmmaker, Corey Lewis.

The moment Cory S. Lewis stepped into his first television studio, he knew he was right at home. After his first “Take Your Child To Work Day” visit to the local CBS-affiliate in Chicago, he knew, at the age of 10, he wanted to follow in his father’s footsteps.

Cory began his undergraduate education at Grand Valley State University, in Allendale, MI. While at GVSU he spent his time honing his skills by shooting, producing, and editing several independent productions, and plan the start of the university’s first student-run television station, GVBN.

Cory would return to Chicago in 2009 and earn his Bachelor’s Degree, with an emphasis in Film/Television Production, from Chicago State University in 2011. While earning his undergraduate degree, Cory worked on the set of several feature films, including Transformers: Dark of the Moon & After Effect. Cory would also worked as a freelance cinematographer, to help pay his way through college.

Corey currently works at Harpo Studios as an Associate Post-Production Coordinator, working on shows like “Oprah’s Next Chapter”, “Oprah’s Lifeclass”, “Iyanla: Fix My Life”, the Emmy-Award winning “Super Soul Sunday”, and “Wanda Sykes Presents: Herlarious.”

How Corey Supports Our Girls in Polished Pebbles

About 4 years ago in the early days of Polished Pebbles I wanted to do a promo video for the organization.  I asked around with friends about finding a good videographer, and they referred me to Corey.  You can see the video he produced for us back then HERE ,or view it below.  And, Corey’s been supporting our work ever since then by helping us get the message out about the great girls, schools, and communities we serve through video.  Just through donating small amounts of his time, and his tremendous talent and guidance, he’s made a huge impact on our program, and our ability to properly market our work.  What talents, skills, and gifts do you have that you can share with a youth mentoring program in your community?  Think about it, and get going with sharing it the community of youth near you!

PP Promo Video Cover Pic

Our youth deserve our time and talents!  Let’s keep sharing!

Kelly

KellyFairTheMentor

Celebrating Men!: President Obama’s My Brother’s Keeper Initiative

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As we close out “Men’s Month” for my girls mentoring program, Polished Pebbles, in Chicago, we thought it be nice to share an article about President Barack Obama’s “My Brother’s  Keeper,” an initiative to expand opportunity for young men and boys of color, He announced the launched of the initiative last week in the East Room of the White House, Feb. 27, 2014. To read the article click HERE.

dddance

To view some pictures from our non-traditional Daddy Daughter Dance, with our mentoring community here in Chicago, click HERE.  Interested in organizing a similar initiative in your community?  Email me at [email protected].

Now that it’s March, and Women’s History Month, we are holding a Career Panel here in Chicago this Saturday, March 8th at 10 a.m. at the Chicago Urban League.  Panelists will include Congresswoman Robin Kelly, Alderwoman Pat Dowell, Alderwoman Leslie Hairston, Judge Sharon Oden, VP/General Manager Bloomingdale’s Carolyn Edwards.  Email us at [email protected] if you’d like to join us.

we can do it kelly rowland

Renisha McBride: CAUTION!! Black Girl Approaching!!

RenishaMcbride

The first time I saw this picture on the news I had to do a double-take.  This young lady looked so familiar. Every time I look at this picture I see the face of one of the girls that live on my block, the girls I pass waiting on the bus stop, or the girls in the halls of the schools I support here in Chicago.  And, more than anything when I see this picture, I feel like I’m gazing into the eyes of the over 500 girls I’ve served through Polished Pebbles Girls Mentoring Program. Renisha McBride may have been a teenager living in Detroit, but ultimately she could have been one of my girls, and perhaps one of the girls in your community too. 

If you’re not familiar with the Renisha McBride story, she’s the 19-year-old young woman who was shot and killed while seeking help after a single car accident she had been in. The accident occurred in the Dearborn Heights neighborhood, a suburb of Detroit. When McBride stepped on 54-year-old Theodore Paul Wafer’s porch knocked on his door for assistance early on the morning of November 2, the man, in his home, wound up shooting her from a distance claiming it was an accident and he feared that she was trying to break in. Wafer has since been charged with murder in the second degree, manslaughter and possession of a firearm. Many have labeled this to have been an instance of racial profiling, and the prosecutor in the case made the following statement:

“We obviously do not feel that the evidence in this case reveals that the defendant acted in lawful self defense.There is no evidence of forced entry into the home. Our evidence shows she knocked on the locked screen door. The charging decision has nothing to do whatsoever with the race of the parties. Whether it becomes relevant later on, I don’t know.”

Autopsy reports of the 19-year-old show that McBride’s blood alcohol content was three times the legal driving limit for the state of Michigan and that she had marijuana in her system when she was driving. As for the shooting, many believe that it was motivated by race; that Wafer possibly saw a black woman standing on his porch late at night and assumed the worst. But her family and community just want to know why his initial reaction was to shoot first.  Their attorney, Gerald Thurswell, spoke out for the family:

“If he had called 911 when he heard her outside his house, they would have been there within two minutes and she would be alive today. Maybe she would have been arrested for being intoxicated, but she would not be dead.”

The 19-year-old had just received a job at Ford after graduating from high school, and her family reportedly described her as an outgoing and friendly young woman.

CAUTION Black Girl

I learned about Renisha’s story as I watched some of my favorite public affairs news shows and they were discussing the similarities between this case and the racial profiling in the shootings of other unarmed black teens such as  the highly publicized Trayvon Martin and Jonathan Ferrell cases.  But, they also talked about a prevalent “fear and loathing of black bodies” and it seems that black boys like Trayvon are vulnerable, but now after Renisha’s case it seems that black girls are just as vulnerable in our society.  Many media outlets have been linking this case with the many prevalent and historical stereotypes about black women as being overly aggressive, less feminine  and more masculine, being most useful as the sturdy women who have served as domestics for many years.  These stereotypes that seem to affirm beliefs that black women can not be considered as possible victims of rape, or quite simply that black women in our society are in fact in less of need of help, or protection.  One of the discussions even asserted that its stereotypes such as this that could lead someone to see a 5 foot and 4 inches, 19 yr. old teenage- girl like Renisha McBride as threatening enough to shoot.  I found many of the points and conclusions in these arguments to be convincing, and have some validity.  But, it all got me to thinking a little bit deeper about this situation regarding how black girls in America are viewed.  As an African American woman, it may seem more obvious that I could understand the likelihood of Renisha being racially profiled in a predominately white suburb of Detroit.  This seems to be a more likely story and unfortunately, all too familiar story.  But, what’s more alarming is how I’ve observed how black girls are being negatively profiled by members of our OWN community.

After over 10 years experience in education and youth development, and over 4 years running Polished Pebbles Girls Mentoring Program, I’ve gotten to know lots of wonderful young ladies and their families.  When I’m out and about and I tell people about my career mentoring girls here in Chicago, I frequently get many “pats on the back” and receive sentiments of genuine sincere support and appreciation for my work.  But, that expressed appreciation is many times also decorated with tones of disdain and disapproval about the current state of black girls.  People are so quick to say to me things like “Good, THOSE girls need it”,or “THOSE girls are lost.” And, I often think to myself, when did the girls living in our communities stop being OUR girls and become THOSE girls?  It’s almost as if were no longer talking about young black girls that live and are educated in our communities, and our cities, and essentially products of us as a people.  No, it’s more like were talking about a race of aliens that have swooped down and invaded our neighborhoods with disrespectful and unmotivated approaches to their own lives and lives of others.  And, we don’t know how these alien black girls got here, and why they act the way they do.  black girls are aliens

It just feels like far too many of us in the African American community have a real discomfort, and honestly a disconnect with our own girls.  We’re so frustrated with what we’re seeing as the end product in their some times inappropriate dress, appearance, attitude, and seeming lack of aptitude. I mean, I get it, and understand the frustration.  I’m on the front lines of it all through my daily work.  But, what’s troubling to me is that we’re not willing as a community to do the hard work of being non-judgmental and understanding enough to be honest about the reasons why our girls do what they do. When you work day to day with youth as I have over the last ten years, you get a better sense of why the surface behaviors that we often associate with our girls exist. That young lady on the bus stop is loud, because it’s a defense mechanism she’s developed to defend her reputation and earn respect in her neighborhood.   She’s quick with her tongue, and fast to get snappy with you because she can’t trust anyone.  She doesn’t trust anyone, because in many instances the initial people who were supposed to love her, nurture her, and help her learn what true trust and love could look like, abandoned those responsibilities, and essentially she’s raising herself.  And, when you’re living in a community with an under resourced schools  and economic opportunities you’re already at a disadvantage at being less aware of opportunities that may be available to you.  So, why dress any different? Why aspire and participate in activities that happen in a world seemingly so far far away from your day-to-day survival?   

It just seems sometimes at times that it’s no love our her for our black girls.  I reluctantly “get called out” and get drawn in social media debates about the state of black girls and black women.  Often the tones are very accusatory, lack empathy, and don’t involve any real desire to identify the root causes for these challenges.  And, I walk away saying, when did so many of us in our community feel like it was okay to fall in the stereotypes too, and think that our black girls don’t need to be protected, don’t need to helped, and just don’t need to be loved?  But, if we won’t be sensitive enough to love them in even really tough times such as this, then who will? We may not have the man that pulled the trigger on Renisha McBride, but perhaps the self esteem and hope of a young black girl in our community dies every time we refuse to place judgement to the side, learn her story, and help her.  And, how do we learn that story of that girl you ask?  MENTOR!! Get involved with a mentoring organization and volunteer, or at the very least support their work in some way.  

And, we need as much support as we can get.  At Polished Pebbles, we’re working with our girls to learn how to overcome the challenges they face as black girls in our communities by developing effective communication skills, and the necessary confidence.  We have been able to follow a network of girls, but with decreased funding due to a tough economy and frequent budget cuts to already under-resourced communities and educational systems, it is becoming tougher to do that. As you can see below, our operating budget has been slashed significantly by almost 70% .

budget cut

We are doing our best to maintain those relationships and continue to serve almost the same amount of girls on a budget that is five times smaller than what we operated on last year. However, we need your help. In just four years Polished Pebbles has grown to serve over five-hundred girls, and we want to continue to be able to serve this amount and more!

Please donate to Polished Pebbles so we can continue to serve young girls and provide them with the skills to build positive and successful futures!

https://funds.gofundme.com/index.php?route=donate2/donate&url=PolishedPebbles

I thank you for loving our girls, and your continued support!

Kelly

KellyFairTheMentor

A Tale of Two Girls From Two Communities

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Can we allow reality TV stars be the example of how women seem to NEVER get along?
this or that mentors
Do we as women in the community take the responsibility of doing the work to demonstrate for girls what REAL women working together looks like?

Examples of Women Working Together:

 Which example will we choose to exhibit for our girls? 

I’d like to share the story of two girls who both participated in Second Saturday’s Program of Polished Pebbles, the mentoring program I founded in Chicago.  The Second Saturday’s program is monthly workshop that is free and open to girls throughout Chicagoland, but it also includes a network of girls who participate in Polished Pebbles’ after school programs through out the year, at different partnering schools and communities.  Two girls from two different communities in Chicago, Altgeld Gardens and Dearborn Homes, met each other for the first time at the Second Saturdays Program, and struck up a friendship.  Let’s say their names are “Tenisha” &” Mariah.” That friendship that started at monthly Polished Pebbles meetings turned into calling each other, sending text messages, and even working together at the same summer job.

As funding for education and youth initiatives seems to be frequently under fire in under-resourced communities, at the beginning of this school year, it looked as though our service to three of the communities of girls we worked with for two years would be cut.  This meant that we would no longer be able to support the girls in the two communities that both “Tenisha” and “Mariah” resided in.  Potentially losing the opportunity to work with these girls was devastating, because we didn’t want to jeopardize the relationship we had built with the girls of these communities.  Additionally, many of our girls are facing so many challenges in their daily lives, including maintaining trust with people because they’ve been let down so often.  We didn’t want Polished Pebbles to be yet another group of adults who let them down and broke their trust.

When the word got out to the women who volunteer and mentor with Polished Pebbles they put their heads and resources together. The were firm in ensuring we would be able to continue to work with these girls no matter the obstacles.  Now, you must know this is a large and very eclectic group of women from different professions, backgrounds, neighborhoods, walks of life, veteran mentors, and women volunteering for the very first time.  But, all differences were put aside when the best interest of our girls were involved.  They raised the money to cover the costs for the girls to participate in the upcoming bowling trip, and the funds to bus them to our Second Saturday program throughout the school year.

Because of the support of these women working together, we are able to maintain our relationships with the three communities of girls .  Because of these women working together, the girls didn’t have to again experience abandonment and a lack of love.  The support of these women working together enables Polished Pebbles mentees to maintain their relationships with girls from different communities throughout Chicagoland that they’ve established in the Polished Pebbles Network.  And, because of these powerful women working together, the friendship between our two girls from two different communities, “Tenisha” & “Mariah”, is solidified even further.  Now, they can continue to SEE each other monthly and learn together at the Polished Pebbles Second Saturdays program-the place where they initially met.

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#sisterhood

As the Role Models and mentors in this group mentoring initiative, Polished Pebbles, or any mentoring program in any city for that matter, it is our duty to foster a culture of seamless relationships of WOMEN and GIRLS Working Together in unison and purpose.  From this story you can tell we’re doing just that.  But, the work isn’t done.  We have to constantly work to make sure that we are modeling what strong working relationships, friendships, and networks of women should look like, and that starts with how we plan and prepare for the work we do with our girls! Demonstrating positive examples of teamwork is definitely a “Cornerstone of Effective Mentoring.”  We can’t let the poor and misleading examples depicted in reality TV series be the only examples of how our girls see women, and women of color ,interact.  It’s a lot of work, but I’m encouraged.  What a wonderful journey we’re embarking upon.  I couldn’t be more excited to journey with a greater group of women!

Got my bags packed!

Kelly

KellyFairTheMentor

Want to get more tips and insight on mentoring urban youth and girls? Share and follow, www.kellyfairthementor.wordpress.com.  Want to join us with mentoring at Polished Pebbles?  Email us at info@polishedpebbles.

“Lady K In Waiting” Welcome To Kelly Fair The Mentor!

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For the last four years, with Polished Pebbles, I have been empowering girls throughout Chicagoland to find their voices by equipping them with effective communications skills, providing access to proper mentors, and exposure to powerful life experiences. It has been an awesome experience to reach over 500 girls with the assistance of numerous organizations, businesses, and hundreds of volunteers and supporters.  But, perhaps what’s been most amazing for me is the opportunity I’ve had to grow right along with the girls, personally and professionally. I often share with the girls that a big of part of my drive in starting Polished Pebbles lies in the truth that I too was a shy girl, and it took me until I got to college to really unleash my leadership abilities, and build my confidence.

I had a personal mentor of mine who always impressed upon me that “we’re always teaching, and we’re always learning.” I’ve had lots of growing pains building Polished Pebbles, and finding my voice in this new venture has been a journey.  But, I’ve come to realize now that we’ve learned a lot in creating Polished Pebbles and growing it from a single site group mentoring program with less than 20 mentors and only 2 girls at our first monthly meeting, to a program that has served 500 girls through 15 program sites serving University of Chicago Charter Schools, Chicago Public Schools, and the Chicago Housing Authority.  I feel impelled and that it’s my responsibility to our communities to share some of what we’ve grown through during this Polished Pebbles experience; this will include strategies that we’ve learned, and knowledge gained from staff, volunteers, partners, and of course our girls.

Every Thursday, you can expect a weekly update to this blog, “Kelly Fair The Mentor” including:

  • Encouragement and support in realizing the role each of us can play in impacting our youth
  • Tips and strategies on strengthening mentoring efforts in your communities
  • Insight from our rock-star staff, volunteers, and families, and of course our girls!

As I continue to grow and develop along with Polished Pebbles, I look forward to sharing the journey with you.

Sincerely,

Kelly

Worried About What You Have To Offer?

2013 open houseA couple of weeks ago at our Polished Pebbles’ Open House for interested mentors and volunteers, over 50 women made the commitment to challenge themselves to declare at least one thing that they have to offer the Polished Pebbles girls, community, and organization. They participated in a 7-day social media challenge were they included things like:

Picture 13Quite often far too many of us feel ill equipped to tackle the issues in our community, but the reality is that we have everything that we need for healing and empowerment! So, join us and declare at least one thing today that you have to offer the Polished Pebbles community, or the girls or youth in your community!  Is it your commitment, positive attitude, marketing skills, fundraising skills? What do you have to offer? Please let us know below in the comments section.

If you’re interested in volunteering or mentoring with Polished Pebbles in Chicago, email us at [email protected]. Our next mentor/volunteer orientation will be September 28th from 10 a.m.- 12 p.m. at the Chicago Urban League (4510 S. Michigan Avenue) or visit the Polished Pebbles page for more information http://www.polishedpebbles.com.

Interested in mentoring in other communities across the country, please check out databases of other mentoring programs at National CARES Mentoring Movement http://caresmentoring.org/.

Mentor Moment: I Was Here

“I wanna leave my footprints on the sands of time

Know there was something that, meant something that I left behind

When I leave this world, I’ll leave no regrets

Leave something to remember, so they won’t forget. I was here…”

Sometimes I like to start my session playing the melodic Beyonce tune “I Was Here,” not because Bey knows how to get the party started, but to remind the girls that our legacies begin here and now in Polished Pebbles discovering, defining, and delivering our voices to the rest of the world.

When I tell people I work for a girls mentoring program they often think I’m some type of crusader equipped with nail polish, friendship bracelets, unlimited relationship advice, and a pink cape.  That idea could not be further from the truth. I‘m actually just a south side girl with tons of flaws, and not nearly enough “right” answers, icebreakers, or time to achieve every objective. I’m sure if you ask any of my “pebbles,” colleagues, or interns they will all have something different to say because everyone has a different perspective as to what Polished Pebbles is all about.

To understand the Polished Pebbles organization you must first understand the name.  The name Polished Pebbles is inspired by a quote from Susan Taylor, Editor Emeritus of Essence Magazine’s last book, All About Love, were she talks about the strength of relationships propelling our personal growth. The quote is, “Like pebbles in a bag we all polish one another.” And polishing one another is truly what we do.  When I say polish, I don’t mean adorning the girls with pencil skirts and pearls, but empowering them to be bold and fearless change agents. Changing what and how they communicate to the world first and taking what they have learned back to their classmates, families, and communities.  School administrators and parents are some of the first to notice the changes in our students so developing and maintaining substantial relationships with school administrators and parents has been crucial to ensuring the success of our girls.  Also, if we are going to be honest, I’m on a journey of self-discovery alongside the girls. Everyday that I work with the girls I’m teaching them to discover their voices, and I am undoubtedly fine-tuning my own voice and better understanding my strengths and weaknesses. Trust me, there is nothing like a 7th grader helping you take a self- assessment to understand what you are not good at.

I met Kelly a year ago and decided to join the Polished Pebbles team. I immediately knew I was joining a “different” type of team. While sitting in Kelly’s very pink office she began pouring into me the confidence to share my personal story with my students. The reality is that no one wants to be vulnerable, not even with a 7 year old. However, being an authentic leader required me to share my own insecurities, failures, and triumphs. Those hours with Kelly helped me to understand that asserting my personal power meant telling my story.  Kelly and I have had more Iyanla moments that I can count and as a result, I was polished professionally and given opportunities to hone my grant writing and partnership development skills when others had not given me that opportunity.  These experiences were not just my experiences but it is the Polished Pebbles experience. It wasn’t just about polishing the girls but about each and every one of us, students, staff, and volunteers included, leaving this experience better than when we came.

Slide1Chanta Williams graduated cum laude from Spelman College with a Bachelor of Arts in Political Science. Chanta serves as a Workshop Facilitator and Development Associate for the Polished Pebbles Girl’s Mentoring Program. She honed many of her development talents serving as a Junior Associate Intern at Lisa M. Dietlin and Associates non-profit consulting firm. Serving as an independent educational consultant she has assisted designing successful one on one peer-mentoring program for the Chicago Scholars, designing and implementing curriculum for various Chicago area college access and youth programs.