Mr. Don Krause is up next for our Men’s Month highlight! He has been a strong supporter of both Polished Pebbles and Kelly Fair. He was more than happy to answer 3 important questions for us!
What lead you to start supporting Polished Pebbles?
Mr. Krause first met Kelly Fair at Bright Star Church. He was immediately impressed with her presence and dedication. Mr. Krause was equally impressed with Polished Pebbles and the professional young ladies that left the program. As “everybody needs life skills”, it made sense to him to support such an organization! The girls are learning how to “present [themselves] properly…communicate properly” and how to be competitive in their future endeavors.
Thank you Mr. Krause for the kind words!
What is one crisis you see young, African-American girls facing? How can we intervene?
He sees young girls “growing up in an area where they are exposed to violence…negative influences”. He thinks that because of this, it can be hard for these girls to “believe that their dreams can come true”. He sees the girls going through the Polished Pebbles Program as capable and bright! Mr. Krause believes that we can intervene by becoming more involved in the lives of youth. Although there are huge divisions in our society, we can come together to to donate resources and time to better the opportunities for our youth. He wants communities to realize that money is not always the necessary intervention. It takes proper administration for organizations to provide community supports. “You can be a positive influence to somebody”.
What advice do you have for other male mentors?
“Encouragement”! That is the advice Mr. Krause has for male mentors. We need to encourage our youth, especially young girls to reach their full potential. “You don’t know how little you do can mean so much. It’s the words of encouragement, it’s that smile, it’s giving someone a compliment, it’s giving someone your advice…letting them know they can get through it”. He wants male mentors to know that there are many rewards for the time, effort, and resources you donate to community.
You tell ’em Mr. Krause! Thank you for taking the time to be interviewed! And thank you for being such a positive male role model for young African American ladies, keep spreading your message!
It’s Men’s Month! At KellyFairtheMentor.com we are highlighting positive male role models in the Chicago community…and you should meet them!
Our first feature will be on Mr. Shayne Evans. Mr. Evans is the CEO and Director of University of Chicago Charter Schools. “Through effective leadership, Evans works to strengthen the collaborations that exist among the four campuses and create new partnerships to leverage the expertise of teachers, leaders, counselors, social workers, tutors, and after-school providers.” This is apparent through his collaboration with Polished Pebbles. The Donoghue, NKO, and Woodlawn campuses host the Polished Pebbles mentoring program for their young ladies.
We had the pleasure of hearing from Mr. Evans on three important questions!
What lead you to start supporting Polished Pebbles?
From the beginning, Mr. Shayne Evans was a “huge believer in Kelly’s vision for young ladies.” Through conversations, he could tell that Kelly see the potential, power, and futures of these girls. Her vision matched his for his young ladies at UC Charter Schools. He was heavily impressed by Kelly’s connections to entrepreneurial and well-rounded people, who became her network of mentors and role models for his young ladies. He says that, “her optimism and positive approach helps her to overcome obstacles”. Due to all of this, Mr. Evans had no other option, but to bring Polished Pebbles to some of his campuses.
Thank you Mr. Evans for seeing Polished Pebble’s potential! Because we see the same in your young ladies at UC Charters!
What is one crisis you see young, African-American girls facing? How can we intervene?
Mr. Evans finds that “often society presents stereotypical views of young African-American ladies”. Because of this, their exists a “belief gap of what black and brown young ladies…are capable of”. This can be detrimental to the way we treat these young ladies in the school system. He sees the UC Charter Schools and Polished Pebbles Mentoring Program as positive interventions. They help to create “counter narratives” of young African-American ladies. Together, they “reestablish a vision” of these young ladies as “leaders, problem-solvers, innovators, engineers, and role models”.
His response reminds us of a previous article on KellyFairtheMentor.com. Click here to listen to Chimamanda Adichie speak about stereotypes and how they affect self-development.
What advice do you have for other male mentors?
His advice for male role models is to develop positive, professional relationships youth, especially young ladies. Mr. Evans believes this can be done by being both warm and demanding. You want to establish and maintain high expectations–“academically, behaviorally, socially”. These supportive relationships can truly help girls as they grow. He wants men to come together and work as a community to create positive opportunities for youth–“it is a joint effort”!
At KellyFairtheMentor.com and Polished Pebbles, we want to thank Mr. Shayne Evans for both taking the time to speak with us and for believing in our girls! Thank you for being such a positive male role model for young African American ladies, keep spreading your message!
From KellyFairtheMentor and Polished Pebbles, we want to say MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY HOLIDAYS! May the holidays be a blessing to you and yours. Thank you for all that you do to support our girls!
If you would like to give a little gift this holiday season, consider donating to Polished Pebbles. It can be a one time, monthly, or annual donation. The upcoming 2015 is sure to be filled with many more activities and programs to enrich the lives of our girls. We would love your support! Donate here…
For those who need a little refresher on what Polished Pebbles does for our community:
Polished Pebbles (est. 2009) is a Chicago-based, nonprofit organization that mentors girls ages 7-17 on the effective life skill of communication. We help girls to become effective communicators at home, school, and the future workplace! We have worked with over 400+ volunteer mentors who have helped 1000 girls via 30 program sites to solve their problems rationally as opposed to retaliating and develop the confidence to: speak up in class, join groups and seek leadership positions, communicate effectively and respectfully with adults, have peaceful interactions with their peers, and prepare for future careers.
We have had 30 Chicagoland sites where we host our programs, including partnerships with Chicago Public Schools, Chicago Housing Authority, and University of Chicago Charter Schools.
We have 18 companies we partner with for 50+ job shadowing opportunities, including Bloomingdales, Microsoft Store, Chicago Sky, and Blue Cross-Blue Shield of Illinois.
For Polished Pebbles to keep supporting our girls, we need your help! Consider a one-time, monthly, or annual donation. Click here to support Polished Pebbles!
This week we are throwing it back to 2013! A little reminiscing at the end of the year is the perfect way to remind us why we do what we do. Polished Pebbles has seen great growth in the last 5 years. We have now mentored over 1,000 girls and serve 30 sites in Chicago! To think we used to be small. During this exciting time it can be easy to get swept up in the numbers and forget about our individual impact. To each girl that goes through Polished Pebbles program, the experience is different. Although we have our mission of installing positive values, effective communication strategies, and confidence in our girls, they all take a different path. Each girl comes through our program with their own unique background and personality; making sure our work is never dull!
Now, let’s hear from a Polished Pebbles alum, Pertesha, as she shares her own Polished Pebbles story:
Polished Pebbles has been working hard to ensure that all the girls that go through our program have such a positive experience. Here’s an infographic to let you know how we’ve been doing:
Like what you’ve heard and read? Consider donating to Polished Pebbles to keep our program running strong, and our mission! With your help, small or large, Polished Pebbles will have a bright future! And together she will shine!
Click here to make your contribution! Remember, we aren’t just hoping for monetary support. If you have time, consider being a volunteer or mentor. Or, share your voice on our social media sites (including this one)!
How have you seen Polished Pebbles grow this year? What changes would you like to see in the next?
All of our readers of KellyFairtheMentor.com, volunteers and staff of Polished Pebbles, and our Polished Pebbles girls…thank you! It is with your help that we are able to impact our communities and work towards positive change. All of our voices can be heard and together we can help support the future of our girls and boys! We are grateful for our supporters, contributors, sponsors, and collaborative business and organizations for helping to provide enriching programs for all of our Polished Pebbles girls.
You all make our world go round!
A few words from volunteers and staff:
“Thankful for life and loved ones.” –Cecelia Donaldson
“I’m thankful for new opportunities!” –LaKisha Williams
“I am thankful for: God’s Grace.” –Joyce Rogers
“I am THANKFUL for: being blessed by the Lord and amazing family, great friends, and the Polished Pebbles vision.” –Adrienne Robinson
“I’m thankful for family, friends, and husband.” –L’Oreal Thompson
All of us have come together as social activists. Although you may think your role small as a volunteer for a single mentoring program, your impact is big! For that we are grateful! In light of events in Ferguson, our work is more important than ever. It is our mentoring and African-American youth programs that contradict the images and stereotypes portrayed by the media and by society. As mentioned in a previous post, it is important that we all speak out!
Let us all come together in gratitude for all those that have collaborated for and worked towards greater social justice in the United States. You have our thanks.
A younger female colleague of mine tagged me in a Facebook post with this video in it. The video is about catcalling in New York City. It was disseminated last week by a group called Hollaback!. Hollaback! is a photoblog and grassroots initiative to raise awareness about and combat street harassment by posting photographs and narrative accounts of individuals’ encounters with offenders. The video shows an actress walking the streets of New York and experiencing sustained catcalls and harassment, including being followed by one man for over five minutes. The video racked up 32 million views, but came under quick scrutiny for featuring mostly men of color. This too was my initial observation and objection to the video as well. My thought was how can you raise awareness about a form of discrimination with a tool that discriminates? Consequently, Hollaback! apologized last week for the suspicious lack of white men shown in the video ( read an article here). Nonetheless, as most social media centered advocacy, the message about combat catcalling definitely started a buzz and lots of dialogue.
I was that girl!
I immediately shared the video with two of the programming coordinators on my staff, and told them that I thought a dialogue about this video was definitely something that I wanted included in our upcoming curriculum with my mentoring program Polished Pebbles Girls Mentoring Program. The video really resonated with me, because in previous years when I worked directly with girls in our after school programs, I held conversations with girls about this very topic. We discussed strategizing safe passage to and from school, and managing the different types of attention that they may get in public from men, desirable or undesirable. I think it’s important conversation to have also tailored with a recognition of appropriate cultural context. I am big on having conversations that address understanding the root, and the reaction, of certain behaviors based on the communities that we serve, that I also happen to be a product of.
The topic of teaching girls to manage this is near and dear to my heart, because it was something I grapled with in my earlier adolescence. I was like many high school students in Chicago, and used public transportation to get to school, but I masterminded different routes to avoid unwanted attention from men, of all ages, on the streets I needed to walk down to get home. Quite frankly, I was just wasn’t mature enough, or experienced as a young woman to really know how to manage the attention and propositions made by some of the men, and distinguish hidden, and obvious, intentions. So, instead of getting off the bus at my street, I tried to avoid as much potential foot traffic as possible, and rode the bus a couple of blocks longer to the final bus terminal. Walking home that way helped me avoid some of the older “dudes” that were constantly outside, and was a much quieter path. However, it was also potentially even more dangerous because it was less traveled by most. And, I was kind of isolating myself, and potentially setting myself up to be more accessible for actual crimes like kidnap, rape, etc. But, as I grew I adapted. I learned to ignore some of the comments, and play like I was hard of hearing, or listening to headphones. I also started using the strategy of looking so intently focused, and a little mean, with my face that it actually turned a lot of them off! LOL! And, then I learned how to be polite, thank them for the complement, and tell them that I already had a boyfriend, and didn’t need any more friends.
My mature shift in perspective.
As I have grown and matured, I’m much more experienced in life and confident in my identity as a woman in my community, and how that may be viewed by others. Part of what helped me get here was being taught long time ago by a mentor of mine on how to view some of those approaches from men, and how to respond to them as well. Linda told me that for many of those men that they may never have encountered a woman like me, and some of their comments were the only methods they knew to attempt to complement me. And, this shift in perspective totally changed the way I approached and reacted to some of those encounters. It took me time and experience to master it, but I now approach and manage those interactions with a spirit of universal love, and you’d be amazed at the kind o reactions that I get. In turn I receive words and acts of kindness, respect, generosity, and genuine well-wishes for my day, my well-being, and my current work with girls. I now see part of my responsibility as a woman, of my stature, is demonstrate love and respect to others no matter what neighborhood, city, or country that I’m traveling through. And, as a strong believer in the “golden rule”, and the “law of attraction, expression of love and respect dominates the majority of my dealings with others.
Despite my shift in perspective, I want to be clear that I’m not condoning disrespect or disregard for others in any form. But, I wanted to present a different viewpoint. Although videos like this one from Hollaback! are effective in getting attention, I want to make sure that as a responsible mentoring community that we always follow-up on “hashtag activisim” with conversations centered on devising practical ways to help address the needs of help girls combat cat-calling and ensure their safety. Below are some tips that I recommend.
What you can do to help your girls!
Create opportunities for girls to have open dialogue on the topic. So, often we don’t have enough forums for adolescent girls to have open discussions on a variety of topics, but especially one’s of this nature. So, if you have a mentoring or youth program, or a teacher, consider making this a news topic to review. Show the students the video and get their reaction. And, even if you are not directly involved in working with youth as a profession, talk about it with your daughters and the girls in your family or daily network. As we develop girls to become advocates we must help them develop their voice by providing opportunities to see expressing their opinion is okay
Create strategies for safe passage to and from school, etc. Talk with your daughters/girls about how they get to and from school, jobs, or other activities. Ask them what buses are they taking. What routes do they take to get home? What streets or alleys are they walking down? Work with them to identify if there is a way for them to organize walking home in groups with responsible friends to increase safety and collective vigilance.
Ask them how their day was. Your girl/daughter may have had an encounter or experience that she needs to discuss or receive some guidance on. But, if we don’t work to create consistent lines of communication with our girls that they know they can trust, they may not share and keep it to themselves.
Create opportunities for authentic dialogue for girls with positive male role models: Far too many of the girls that we serve don’t have consistent relationships with positive role models. So, we work to include male volunteers/mentors within our network as well as women, because having opportunities to connect with positive men who can provide insight and advice on dealing with the men that they encounter is priceless. We hold open forums between our girls and our male volunteers regularly to provide opportunities for girls to hear from men and pose questions and ask for advice.
Let them shadow you for a day at work or running mundane errands: So many of us learn most effectively when we are given visual examples. Letting your girl/daughter/mentee shadow you gives you the opportunity, if youre a woman, to show girls how you carry yourself in professional settings and in about your community as well. She ‘ll see how you talk to people, present yourself, react to others worlds and actions. And, in the car you can share with her you problem solved those situations, analyzed them, and identified any definite threats of danger. Men, it’s important that girls get a chance to spend a day with you as well, because they get to see how you treat other women you encounter. And, they learn from watching you what positive and real caring male interaction looks and feels like.
So, what are some tips or strategies that you use with girls in ensuring safe passage, and dealing with unwanted attention?
Thank you to everyone who has supported Polished Pebbles on its 5 year journey! With many challenges & successes along the way, we are proud to have mentored over 750 girls… and we aren’t done yet!
Polished Pebbles is looking forward to many more years of mentoring and helping girls S.H.I.N.E. We hope to grow even more over the next 5 years with your continued support!
Please share in our memories collected throughout the years by watching this short video:
If you’re in the Chicagoland area, get ready to jump & celebrate 5 years of Polished Pebbles! As many of you may know Polished Pebbles, is the girls mentoring program that I founded five years ago, and continue to direct and operate and we are starting to celebrate our 5th anniversary, and will do so at our first Saturday session.
Polished Pebbles’ 1st Second Saturday’s Session of the year will be all about showing off your jump roping & double dutch skills!
Learn new moves from your friends & the talented ladies of Black Girls Jump at our kick-off event of the year!
When: Saturday, September 13th, 10 a.m.
Where: Chicago Urban League
(For girls ages 10-17)
My mentoring responsibilities aren’t limited just to working with the school age -girls and female college students in Polished Pebbles. I also find a tremendous about of satisfaction mentoring college/graduate interns as well. I’m proud to share this blog post that was written by one of our summer interns Tamara Meyerhoff. Tamara is a senior at St. Olaf College in Northfield, Minnesota. She is majoring in Social Work with a concentration in Family Studies. This summer she attended the Chicago Center for Urban Life and Culture in Hyde Park. Through her classes she was able to experience the culture of Chicago, from the South Side to the North Side. Tamara also completed two part-time internships–one with me at Polished Pebbles, and the other with United African Organization.
Last week I brought to your attention the effect of the school to prison pipeline on black youth. The twitter conversation that followed brought up an important fact–mentoring alone is not the solution. As commenters have mentioned, there are systemic and institutional oppressions that are working against black youth, especially in the education system. It is intimidating to imagine tackling these large systems. We just have to remember that we make up the system, the government, the society. Changes starts with us. I strongly believe that everyday individuals are more than capable of inciting change. It takes energy, heart, and faith; but, it is possible. So, although small things, such as mentoring, may seem insignificant in the grand scheme, it is doing something. It is raising us out of our apathy.
Diane Latiker is a prime example of how a concerned resident, with an open heart, began to show the youth in her community the best of themselves. Kids Off the Block is located in one of Chicago’s underserved neighborhoods, Roseland. Diane works with the young men and women of Roseland to build a positive, safe, and creative environment for personal development. Kids Off the Block provides positive alternatives to youth to help them avoid the juvenile justice system. Similar to Polished Pebbles, she helps black youth see themselves in a new light. One that counters the harmful stereotypes. This self-esteem boosting mentoring style is not limited to organizations. It is something that all adults are capable of. Perhaps then, these children will move into another pipeline, the pipeline to careers. All children should grow up believing they have strength, endurance, confidence, and capability.
supporter of both Polished Pebbles and Kelly Fair. He was more than happy to answer 3 important questions for us!
Our first feature will be on 
girls…thank you! It is with your help that we are able to impact our communities and work towards positive change. All of our voices can be heard and together we can help support the future of our girls and boys! We are grateful for our supporters, contributors, sponsors, and collaborative business and organizations for helping to provide enriching programs for all of our Polished Pebbles girls.
