Tag: Mentorship

Happy Holidays!

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From KellyFairtheMentor and Polished Pebbles, we want to say MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY HOLIDAYS! May the holidays be a blessing to you and yours. Thank you for all that you do to support our girls!

If you would like to give a little gift this holiday season, consider donating to Polished Pebbles. It can be a one time, monthly, or annual donation. The upcoming 2015 is sure to be filled with many more activities and programs to enrich the lives of our girls. We would love your support! Donate here…

Let’s keep taking care of one another!

Women on the Web: Interviews with Women Mentors You Should Know!

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At KellyFairtheMentor.com, we had the opportunity to interview two beautiful, influential women–Cameka Smith of BOSS Network and Cynthia Boykin of What U Need Is… We are happy to share with you a combined presentation of their insights and inspirations for mentoring and strengthening community!

First, a little bio on our wonderful Women on the Web. Cameka Smith is the founder of BOSS Network. Screen Shot 2014-12-10 at 10.42.51 PMWith a Master’s in Education, Cameka has dedicated herself to supporting the entrepreneurial spirit in women. As BOSS Network so succinctly and powerfully describes their founder, “Speaker, trainer, and award-winning entrepreneur…BOSS Network has evolved into a go-to resource for companies seeking female influencers as their target market. A one-stop-shop for career and entrepreneurial minded women”. Screen Shot 2014-12-10 at 10.48.39 PM

Cynthia Boykin, “The Master Networker”, is the founder of What U Need Is…an essential connection between businesses and consumers in Chicago. As is said about the founder, “Cynthia is known for being able to build relationships connecting the right people together skillfully and swiftly.”

What Are They Proud Of?

Both of these women are proud of the paths their lives have taken…with some overlap! Cameka Smith finds pride in her educational achievement. Coming from “an environment where most of my peers were looked at as a statistic”, her MA in Education helps her to work for change in her community! When her students follow their dreams she is able to see the impact she has had on youth–their successes are her successes; a constant reward. Her transition into BOSS Network only added to her positive influence in her community. Speaking of BOSS Network, Cynthia Boykin is proud to be on the leadership board! Through this opportunity she was able to meet one of her mentors, Beverly Johnson (first black woman on the cover of Vogue). Following in her mentors footsteps, Cynthia was honored by being on the cover of Black Pages International Magazine in 2011 and 2012! She’s proud to be part of such a vibrant, successful community of women entrepreneurs and business owners.

Who Have Been Their Mentors, Their Motivators?

Cynthia Boykin cannot think of a positive influence on her life without remembering her mother. Cynthia says that she is a “woman who lead by example”. In 1952 she joined the Women’s Army Corps, pushing gender boundaries to find fulfillment in her life. Similarly, Cameka Smith sees the “every day women in her life”, her mother and aunts, as her greatest motivators. She came from a big, connected, and loving family that always maintained faith and commitment to one another and community. The very women she works with through the BOSS Network are her mentors. They keep her sharp and engaged as they eagerly strive to network and succeed. Both of these women have found that the women in their lives have been role models. They have shown Cynthia and Cameka positive, successful examples of women; whether that is mother and wife or business owner and entrepreneur. Cynthia gave a warmly appreciated shout out to Kelly Fair, citing her work with Polished Pebbles as one of the best young girls mentoring program in Chicago. Thank you Ms. Cynthia Boykin!

Polished Pebbles works to provide these examples of women to our girls. As we have learned from Cameka and Cynthia, this can positively influence their self-perception, and goal setting! When surrounded by such intelligent, strong women it is hard not to set such high goals!

Do They Think Their Mentors? …Because We Sure Do!

Cameka Smith first saw herself as a mentor when she began her career in education. She saw the need to provide positive role models for her students and other youth, so she acted! She began to create mentor programs for students. She wanted to showcase young professionals; let them “see what they can become” from “all walks of life”. Although she artfully evaded the question, we are here to tell her, Cameka Smith, you are a mentor! She encourages youth, especially young girls, to join mentoring programs to push their visions and extend their platforms. Giving another evasion, Cynthia Boykin described herself as a possible example for other women. We are also here to tell her, Cynthia Boykin, you are a mentor! She is a great resource connector and networker for her clients and community. She will use anything she has and can get to support those she can, utilizing a “I got mine, now let me help you get yours” mentality. She sees her sponsorship, encouragement, and support as an investment in great, upcoming people, businesses, and organizations–future change-makers! They both see their clients and peers as a reciprocal relationship; both teachers and learners, supporters and supported.

Now, What Do They Hope To See From Their Communities?

Both Cynthia Boykin and Cameka Smith want to see you, yes you readers, contributing to your communities! They can be through time, gifts, resources, or any other way of getting involved. Cameka reminds us all that “if you have lived on this earth, then you have something that you’ve been through…that you can share with another person”. So, do just that! She would like to see more community involvement in mentoring programs for youth (at Polished Pebbles, we agree!). Cameka sees women of color as essential contirbuters to their communities because they are natural role models and leaders. Thinking on an organizational level, Cynthia Boykin echoes the same goal, but for businesses! She wants to see more community center businesses that are dedicated to the growth of their communities. If they build reciprocal relationships, then businesses can connect more with their consumers!

We all need hope in our lives. Only by sharing our stories, experiences, advice, and wisdom with others can we encourage hope to grow!

Thank You, Cameka Smith And Cynthia Boykin!

These two women have been so supportive of Polished Pebbles and the work that we do with our girls, that we want to take the time to thank them for the work that they do! By creating their networks, they are able to connect mostly women of color with essential resources to grow their businesses and names. Without them, there would definitely be less sharing and caring here in Chicago. We hope you see the positve impact you have on individuals, organizations, and communities…because we do!

Readers, get to know these women entrepreneurs, these fellow Women on the Web!

I Did Not Know That People Like Me Could Exist…

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Chimamanda Adichie is a rockin’ novelist from Nigeria. In her TedTalk, Chimamanda shares her personal story of growing up in Nigeria reading only stories about white children with blonde hair and blue eyes. When she began to write, these characters filled her pages; though she could not relate in any way. As the media around her, books, only portrayed white children in stories, she did not know that people who looked like her could be in literature!

From then on, Chimamanda became aware of these “single stories” we develop about people and places. When we only portray people or places in a single way, they become stereotypes. These stereotypes then dominate the identities we create about others and ourselves.

Although Chimamanda speaks to Africa, the same theories can be applied to the United States, most notably, African-Americans. From the historic beginnings of black face to the more recent token person of color, the portrayal of African-Americans by mainstream media has been poor. While we may naively assume that this is contained to only fictional movies and television shows, it is not. The news and social media have been prominent aggravators of the single story surrounding African-Americans. A recent example of this is the viral video of a New York man slapping a woman on the train after being insulted and hit (read more on my JET post here).

Having these stereotypes continually presented to our youth affect their self-development. As Chimamanda says, “The problem with stereotypes is not that they are untrue, but that they are incomplete”. Without the full story we cannot properly mentor and support our youth. Without analyzing communities, schools, and society we cannot begin to understand the family or the youth. We must search for the full story.

How do we do this as mentors, parents, teachers, friends, or community members? WE TALK TO OUR YOUTH! They can provide us their stories.

Do not fall for the danger of the single story.

How will you create an alternate ending?

KFair Mentoring Tip #1: Diversity in Leadership

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This is the first KFair Mentoring Tip in a series of monthly insights to provide guidance and encouragement for mentors and entrepreneurs. To keep with October’s theme of women entrepreneurs, this month’s mentoring tip is about diverse leadership.

To keep it short, WE NEED IT!

According to Tracy Williams from Unsectored:

“It is important for the leadership of organizations to appropriately reflect the demographics of the population it seeks to serve…and understands the culture, unique pressures and obstacles…”

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Kelly Fair with new friends, connections, colleagues, and leaders at Opportunity Collaboration in Ixtapa, Mexico.

As you may know, I spent the last week at an Opportunity Collaboration workshop in Ixtapa, Mexico. The goal of this workshop? To introduce global leaders in social change to one another! The diverse group of people present at this workshop not only led to valuable connections, but also new perspectives, talents, and thought processes we can all learn from.

Again, Williams talks about a similar goal with her call for diversity in thought leadership:

“When combating complex interconnected social problems…leaders are needed from various backgrounds to attack the problem innovatively.”

Her three steps for increasing diversity in leadership roles:

  1. Invest in Talent
  2. Build a Leadership Pipeline
  3. Build Networks across the Sectors–not only across public, private, and non-profit sectors, but sectors of individual identity as well!

Young, African-American girls need to see older, professional women who look like them succeeding in leadership roles! That has been the continuous message this month. By seeing black women as leaders, they will start to see themselves as developing leaders and act as such. You can help support our youth by taking on leadership roles yourselves, or by electing others for leadership positions.

Let’s change the system!

It’s A Dorm Room, Not The Taj Mahal!

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My column, Stomping the Yard, on jetmag.com aims to help undergrads excel in their studies and social lives. We show you how to get it done, from the day you move into the dorms to the minute you step off campus for that first job.  This week’s column helps all incoming freshmen by giving them a reality check on what to expect when moving on campus …  CLICK HERE TO READ IT!

Please share with any new college students in your network!

 

A Tale of Two Girls From Two Communities

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Can we allow reality TV stars be the example of how women seem to NEVER get along?
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Do we as women in the community take the responsibility of doing the work to demonstrate for girls what REAL women working together looks like?

Examples of Women Working Together:

 Which example will we choose to exhibit for our girls? 

I’d like to share the story of two girls who both participated in Second Saturday’s Program of Polished Pebbles, the mentoring program I founded in Chicago.  The Second Saturday’s program is monthly workshop that is free and open to girls throughout Chicagoland, but it also includes a network of girls who participate in Polished Pebbles’ after school programs through out the year, at different partnering schools and communities.  Two girls from two different communities in Chicago, Altgeld Gardens and Dearborn Homes, met each other for the first time at the Second Saturdays Program, and struck up a friendship.  Let’s say their names are “Tenisha” &” Mariah.” That friendship that started at monthly Polished Pebbles meetings turned into calling each other, sending text messages, and even working together at the same summer job.

As funding for education and youth initiatives seems to be frequently under fire in under-resourced communities, at the beginning of this school year, it looked as though our service to three of the communities of girls we worked with for two years would be cut.  This meant that we would no longer be able to support the girls in the two communities that both “Tenisha” and “Mariah” resided in.  Potentially losing the opportunity to work with these girls was devastating, because we didn’t want to jeopardize the relationship we had built with the girls of these communities.  Additionally, many of our girls are facing so many challenges in their daily lives, including maintaining trust with people because they’ve been let down so often.  We didn’t want Polished Pebbles to be yet another group of adults who let them down and broke their trust.

When the word got out to the women who volunteer and mentor with Polished Pebbles they put their heads and resources together. The were firm in ensuring we would be able to continue to work with these girls no matter the obstacles.  Now, you must know this is a large and very eclectic group of women from different professions, backgrounds, neighborhoods, walks of life, veteran mentors, and women volunteering for the very first time.  But, all differences were put aside when the best interest of our girls were involved.  They raised the money to cover the costs for the girls to participate in the upcoming bowling trip, and the funds to bus them to our Second Saturday program throughout the school year.

Because of the support of these women working together, we are able to maintain our relationships with the three communities of girls .  Because of these women working together, the girls didn’t have to again experience abandonment and a lack of love.  The support of these women working together enables Polished Pebbles mentees to maintain their relationships with girls from different communities throughout Chicagoland that they’ve established in the Polished Pebbles Network.  And, because of these powerful women working together, the friendship between our two girls from two different communities, “Tenisha” & “Mariah”, is solidified even further.  Now, they can continue to SEE each other monthly and learn together at the Polished Pebbles Second Saturdays program-the place where they initially met.

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#sisterhood

As the Role Models and mentors in this group mentoring initiative, Polished Pebbles, or any mentoring program in any city for that matter, it is our duty to foster a culture of seamless relationships of WOMEN and GIRLS Working Together in unison and purpose.  From this story you can tell we’re doing just that.  But, the work isn’t done.  We have to constantly work to make sure that we are modeling what strong working relationships, friendships, and networks of women should look like, and that starts with how we plan and prepare for the work we do with our girls! Demonstrating positive examples of teamwork is definitely a “Cornerstone of Effective Mentoring.”  We can’t let the poor and misleading examples depicted in reality TV series be the only examples of how our girls see women, and women of color ,interact.  It’s a lot of work, but I’m encouraged.  What a wonderful journey we’re embarking upon.  I couldn’t be more excited to journey with a greater group of women!

Got my bags packed!

Kelly

KellyFairTheMentor

Want to get more tips and insight on mentoring urban youth and girls? Share and follow, www.kellyfairthementor.wordpress.com.  Want to join us with mentoring at Polished Pebbles?  Email us at info@polishedpebbles.

“Lady K In Waiting” Welcome To Kelly Fair The Mentor!

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For the last four years, with Polished Pebbles, I have been empowering girls throughout Chicagoland to find their voices by equipping them with effective communications skills, providing access to proper mentors, and exposure to powerful life experiences. It has been an awesome experience to reach over 500 girls with the assistance of numerous organizations, businesses, and hundreds of volunteers and supporters.  But, perhaps what’s been most amazing for me is the opportunity I’ve had to grow right along with the girls, personally and professionally. I often share with the girls that a big of part of my drive in starting Polished Pebbles lies in the truth that I too was a shy girl, and it took me until I got to college to really unleash my leadership abilities, and build my confidence.

I had a personal mentor of mine who always impressed upon me that “we’re always teaching, and we’re always learning.” I’ve had lots of growing pains building Polished Pebbles, and finding my voice in this new venture has been a journey.  But, I’ve come to realize now that we’ve learned a lot in creating Polished Pebbles and growing it from a single site group mentoring program with less than 20 mentors and only 2 girls at our first monthly meeting, to a program that has served 500 girls through 15 program sites serving University of Chicago Charter Schools, Chicago Public Schools, and the Chicago Housing Authority.  I feel impelled and that it’s my responsibility to our communities to share some of what we’ve grown through during this Polished Pebbles experience; this will include strategies that we’ve learned, and knowledge gained from staff, volunteers, partners, and of course our girls.

Every Thursday, you can expect a weekly update to this blog, “Kelly Fair The Mentor” including:

  • Encouragement and support in realizing the role each of us can play in impacting our youth
  • Tips and strategies on strengthening mentoring efforts in your communities
  • Insight from our rock-star staff, volunteers, and families, and of course our girls!

As I continue to grow and develop along with Polished Pebbles, I look forward to sharing the journey with you.

Sincerely,

Kelly

Worried About What You Have To Offer?

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2013 open houseA couple of weeks ago at our Polished Pebbles’ Open House for interested mentors and volunteers, over 50 women made the commitment to challenge themselves to declare at least one thing that they have to offer the Polished Pebbles girls, community, and organization. They participated in a 7-day social media challenge were they included things like:

Picture 13Quite often far too many of us feel ill equipped to tackle the issues in our community, but the reality is that we have everything that we need for healing and empowerment! So, join us and declare at least one thing today that you have to offer the Polished Pebbles community, or the girls or youth in your community!  Is it your commitment, positive attitude, marketing skills, fundraising skills? What do you have to offer? Please let us know below in the comments section.

If you’re interested in volunteering or mentoring with Polished Pebbles in Chicago, email us at [email protected]. Our next mentor/volunteer orientation will be September 28th from 10 a.m.- 12 p.m. at the Chicago Urban League (4510 S. Michigan Avenue) or visit the Polished Pebbles page for more information http://www.polishedpebbles.com.

Interested in mentoring in other communities across the country, please check out databases of other mentoring programs at National CARES Mentoring Movement http://caresmentoring.org/.