Mentorship Archives - Page 3 of 4 - Kelly Fair

Sharing Knowledge: HBCU Nation

on June 11, 2015June 11, 2015 By kellyfairthementor

As you know from our previous post, Collegiate Mentoring, Polished Pebbles is planning on expanding with College Edition. African-American women in college are just as in need of mentoring and support as younger girls. With our continued support, increasing rates of black women will be attending college and earning degrees. In fact, according to ClutchMag, black women make up the most college enrollments–now that is a success! We want this to continue. Kelly Fair has shared her hopes of providing mentoring to college students. Simply have college interns is not enough, she wants more direct, group support on campuses.

Recently on HBCU Nation, Kelly Fair shared her views on collegiate mentoring–why we need it and how we can benefit from it. Click here to give it a listen!

Tell us what you think of collegiate mentoring for African-American women? What type of support would you have wanted during your college experience?

Collegiate Mentoring

on May 21, 2015May 21, 2015 By kellyfairthementor

As May comes to a close, many college and university students are walking on stages and accepting their diplomas. We want to say congratulations to all you new graduates! Earning your degree is no easy feat. That’s why Polished Pebbles had expanded to collegiate mentoring. Kelly Fair is a frequent contributor to HBCU Nation Radio Show where she provides “Mentoring Minutes” to university students. She also writes for Stomping the Yard on JETMag, whose articles focus on the college experience from roommates to professors. We need to pay attention to college students, especially young African-American women and first-generation college students! First-generation students do not always arrive at college or university with the same knowledge and preparation as other students. While this does not always limit them, it shows a need for mentoring. Mentors can provide this essential bridge in knowledge, experience, and support for first-generation students at college. We want to support them from elementary through to their college degrees!

For more information on Polished Pebble’s Collegiate Mentoring, check out the brochure!

You can also listen to Kelly Fair speak on HBCU Nation Radio Show or read her articles on Stomping the Yard.

Investing in the Future of Black Girls

on May 14, 2015May 14, 2015 By kellyfairthementor

As many of you know, Kelly Fair was an ambassador for the Chicago Community Trust at the On the Table Discussion Tuesday evening. We had our discussion with a diverse group of people from community service members (social workers, school counselors, etc), teachers, businessmen, and even officers of the court. She lead her topic, Investing in the Future of Black Girls, with inspiring community leaders to teach them that everyday citizens are agents of change. Kelly Fair has often focused “on the other side of the crisis”. Black girls are living and developing in the same communities as black boys, yet they do not receive as much attention. Their fight is an invisible one. Polished Pebbles, Kelly Fair, and On the Table 2015 brought a voice to that struggle.

This year, Kimberlé Crenshaw released a report, Black Girls Matter: Pushed Out, Overpoliced and Underprotected. According to Crenshaw:

Ideally, the conversation Black Girls Matter: Pushed Out, Overpoliced, and Underprotected engenders within communities and among philanthropists, policy makers, stakeholders, and advocates will lead to the inclusion of girls in efforts to address school discipline, push-out, and the pathways to incarceration, poverty, and low-wage work. We are especially hopeful that ongoing efforts to resolve the crisis facing boys of color will open up opportunities to examine the challenges facing their female counterparts.

Crenshaw and Kelly Fair agree on multiple points. Like Crenshaw, Fair believes more research, media, and communities need to focus on young, African-American women. From sex trafficking to school discipline, our girls are in danger in their very communities. As local community leaders, you are able to make changes, to be a voice for this invisible fight! We want to empower you to stand up for your community, for your young, black girls. For all of those who already have, thank you for your courage, for all of those who have yet to do so, thank you for reading our message. We want to continue our discussions! Comment, share, and spark conversation with those around you. Because together she will shine!

From Polished Pebbles and Kelly Fair, thank you to all who attended Polished Pebbles facilitated On the Table discussion. We appreciate your voice, heart, and presence. Thank you to Chicago Community Trust for allowing us to share this conversation with our community.

Kelly Fair: Ambassador to Chicago Community Trust

on May 7, 2015May 7, 2015 By kellyfairthementor

If you don’t already know, Kelly Fair will be serving as an ambassador for the Chicago Community Trust “On the Table” discussions!

I’m Kelly Fair and I’m the founder of Polished Pebbles Girls Mentoring Program. Founded in 2009, Polished Pebbles Girls Mentoring Program has been intimately involved in developing and implementing successful youth development programs. I’m motivated to continue my work in mentoring, because I’m a successful byproduct of strong Chicago-based youth mentoring and job readiness initiatives. So, I know personally that mentoring works, which is why am excited every time a new company jumps on board to providing career-related mentoring to our girls.

Watch this video to learn more about Kelly Fair and Polished Pebbles’ role at “On the Table”:

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xddz31GkmKk&w=560&h=315]

For more information, click here…

You Should Know: L’Oreal Thompson Payton

on April 16, 2015April 16, 2015 By kellyfairthementor

We want you to know L’Oreal Thompson Payton!

A Charm City girl in the Windy City, L’Oreal Thompson Payton is a professional storyteller with a penchant for people and a passion for purple. When she’s not busy writing, L’Oreal enjoys reading, dancing and devouring delicious cupcakes. Follow L’Oreal on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram and visit her blog at LTintheCity.com.

How did you first get involved with Polished Pebbles?

I started volunteering with Polished Pebbles in January 2014. I had recently moved to Chicago and I desperately wanted to “give back” to the community. Helping young girls, especially young Black girls, has always been a passion of mine and I wanted to get involved with an organization that did just that. I came across Polished Pebbles in a Google search and, coincidentally, was later introduced to the founder, Kelly Fair, in my previous position as the Digital Content Editor for JET magazine. I recall attending the Second Saturday program that January (it was a Zumba class) and immediately falling in love with the program and the girls.

What is your role as a mentor for youth, primarily young, black girls, in your community?

As a mentor, my primary goal is to serve as a positive role model for young Black girls in the community. I’m always available to help and offer advice and really just be their biggest cheerleader. We all need someone in our corner cheering us on and shouting, “You can do it!” I believe in our girls and I want to be an example to them that anything is possible. I want them to see what I’ve accomplished and know that they can do it, too.

Who are the stand-out mentors in your life?

Wow, I have so many! First and foremost, my mom has constantly demonstrated what it means to be an upstanding daughter, wife, mother, business woman and woman of God. She is my rock.

Throughout my career, I’ve been fortunate to have several female editors who’ve taken me under their wings. Because of those editors, I’ve learned valuable life and career skills that I firmly believe have contributed to my overall success. I simply wouldn’t be here without the wonderful women (and loving men) in my life.

What ignited your passion for giving back to the community?

In middle school, I was constantly bullied for being smart (I skipped a grade), talking “White,” and for being ugly. There were nights when I prayed to God to make me White so I would be more beautiful. I literally hated the color of my skin and felt so unworthy. As an adult, I’ve realized I’m probably not the only girl who’s ever felt this way and it’s my personal mission to help young girls so hopefully they never have to feel that way.

How do you define philanthropy? How do you engage with it?

The Greek definition of philanthropy is “love of humanity.” For the most part, I think people typically equate philanthropy with rich people who donate a lot of money to a good cause. So I don’t consider myself a philanthropist in that sense of the word, but rather the original Greek version: I have a love of helping young girls.

There are plenty of ways to make a difference–whether it’s donating your time, money and/or talent; however, I do believe it’s important to “put your money where your mouth is,” which is why I contribute to Polished Pebbles on a regular basis. It’s an organization I truly believe in so I want to invest in our girls and help them succeed.

What is one barrier affecting young, black girls you have identified? Any solutions?

Nowadays, there are so many programs, such as My Brother’s Keeper, dedicated to helping young Black men, which is both awesome and necessary. But what about the girls? They live in the same neighborhoods as these young men, but it seems as though their needs and issues are often overlooked. I think programs like Polished Pebbles are part of the solution, but we can’t do it alone.

We need big companies to make an investment and show are girls they are valuable and worthy. For example, Google donated $190,000 to Black Girls Code last year…that’s a huge step in the right direction and other companies should follow in their footsteps. But the real work starts at home with positive role models in the community leading the way.

Do you have any final thoughts for us?

My hope is that every young Black girl will grow up knowing she is beautiful and worthy. I want each of them to feel empowered to accomplish their dreams and goals.

Positive Men: Tony Porter

on February 26, 2015February 26, 2015 By kellyfairthementor

As we close up February’s Men’s Month, we would like to share with you a TedTalk by Tony Porter. In “A Call to Men”, Mr. Porter shares the constricting nature of masculinity.

[ted id=1031 lang=en]

Growing up as a boy, we were taught that men had to be tough, had to be strong, had to be courageous, dominating — no pain, no emotions, with the exception of anger — and definitely no fear; that men are in charge, which means women are not; that men lead, and you should just follow and do what we say; that men are superior; women are inferior; that men are strong; women are weak; that women are of less value, property of men, and objects, particularly sexual objects. I’ve later come to know that to be the collective socialization of men, better known as the “man box.”

He believes that the socialization of men has strongly influenced the gender dynamics and issues we see today. Manhood has become problematic not only for women, but for men as well. He very carefully explains that although not all men are violent, not all men abuse women or see them as inferior, but “men, good men, the large majority of men, we operate on the foundation of this whole collective socialization. We kind of see ourselves separate, but we’re very much a part of it.”

Mr. Porter believes that to end the epidemic of violence against women, we have to change the nature of masculinity. How would this change our youth, our boys?

I remember asking a nine-year-old boy, I asked a nine-year-old boy, “What would life be like for you, if you didn’t have to adhere to this man box?” He said to me, “I would be free.”

Positive Men: Don Krause

on February 19, 2015February 19, 2015 By kellyfairthementor

Mr. Don Krause is up next for our Men’s Month highlight! He has been a strong supporter of both Polished Pebbles and Kelly Fair. He was more than happy to answer 3 important questions for us!

What lead you to start supporting Polished Pebbles?

Mr. Krause first met Kelly Fair at Bright Star Church. He was immediately impressed with her presence and dedication. Mr. Krause was equally impressed with Polished Pebbles and the professional young ladies that left the program. As “everybody needs life skills”, it made sense to him to support such an organization! The girls are learning how to “present [themselves] properly…communicate properly” and how to be competitive in their future endeavors.

Thank you Mr. Krause for the kind words!

What is one crisis you see young, African-American girls facing? How can we intervene?

He sees young girls “growing up in an area where they are exposed to violence…negative influences”. He thinks that because of this, it can be hard for these girls to “believe that their dreams can come true”. He sees the girls going through the Polished Pebbles Program as capable and bright! Mr. Krause believes that we can intervene by becoming more involved in the lives of youth. Although there are huge divisions in our society, we can come together to to donate resources and time to better the opportunities for our youth. He wants communities to realize that money is not always the necessary intervention. It takes proper administration for organizations to provide community supports. “You can be a positive influence to somebody”.

What advice do you have for other male mentors?

“Encouragement”! That is the advice Mr. Krause has for male mentors. We need to encourage our youth, especially young girls to reach their full potential. “You don’t know how little you do can mean so much. It’s the words of encouragement, it’s that smile, it’s giving someone a compliment, it’s giving someone your advice…letting them know they can get through it”. He wants male mentors to know that there are many rewards for the time, effort, and resources you donate to community.

You tell ’em Mr. Krause! Thank you for taking the time to be interviewed! And thank you for being such a positive male role model for young African American ladies, keep spreading your message!

Let’s Meet the Men

on February 5, 2015February 5, 2015 By kellyfairthementor

February marks Men’s Month! We want to take this time to recognize and celebrate the role responsible men play in our girl’s lives. Throughout history, there have been many black men that shaped our futures. Strong, black, men role models are essential to helping our girls build positive relationships with men.

Unfortunately, black fathers have been stereotyped as absent. Our family structure has constantly been called into question. Photographer Zun Lee eliminates these stereotypes in his touching photo series “Father Figure”. According to David Rosenberg’s article, “Lee said he is not only trying to shatter the stereotype of black men not being good fathers, but also the idea that black men are people to fear, something Lee said is obviously connected to racial profiling.”

“Basically, the statement I’m making is the reasons people assume black fathers are absent are the same reasons people assume black men are threatening,” Lee said. “People say [when looking at his work] ‘These are not the men I thought would be affectionate,’ and it confuses them to see these men with tattoos and muscles as being nonmenacing.”

Polished Pebble’s Men’s Month has similar goals. We want to encourage our girls, families, and black role models to celebrate the men in our lives! During this month, Kelly Fair the Mentor will be interviewing and sharing those interviews with you every Thursday. Don’t miss it!

A little peak at “Father Figure”….

What You Can Learn From Cynthia Boykin

on January 22, 2015January 22, 2015 By kellyfairthementor

At KellyFairtheMentor.com, we had the opportunity to interview Cynthia Boykin of What U Need Is… We are happy to share with you her insights and inspirations for mentoring and strengthening community!

First, a little bio on our wonderful Cynthia Boykin. “The Master Networker”, she is the founder of What U Need Is…an essential connection between businesses and consumers in Chicago. As is said about the founder, “Cynthia is known for being able to build relationships, connecting the right people together skillfully and swiftly.”

What Is She Proud Of?

Cynthia Boykin is proud to be on the leadership board of BOSS Network. Through this opportunity she was able to meet one of her mentors, Beverly Johnson (first black woman on the cover of Vogue). Following in her mentors footsteps, Cynthia was honored by being on the cover of Black Pages International Magazine in 2011 and 2012! Cynthia was honored to have been nominated as one of the 50 Women of Distinction by Six Brown Chicks. She’s proud to be part of such a vibrant, successful community of women entrepreneurs and business owners.

Who Have Been Her Mentors, Her Motivators?

Cynthia Boykin immediately thinks of the most positive influence in her life–her mother. Cynthia says that her mother is a “woman who lead by example”. In 1952 she joined the Women’s Army Corps, pushing gender boundaries to find fulfillment in her life. She has found that all the women in her life have been role models. Working with so many women entrepreneurs and go-getters have filled her head with many mentoring faces. Cynthia warmly gave an appreciated shout out to Kelly Fair, citing her work with Polished Pebbles as one of the best young girls mentoring program in Chicago. Thank you Ms. Cynthia Boykin!

Polished Pebbles works to provide examples of women, like Cynthia Boykin, to our girls. This can positively influence their self-perception, and goal setting! When surrounded by such intelligent, strong women it is hard not to set such high goals!

Does She Think She’s A Mentor? …Because We Sure Do!

Cynthia Boykin described herself as a possible example for other women. Now, here at Polished Pebbles we think she is being too modest. We are here to tell Cynthia Boykin, you are a mentor! She is a great resource connector and networker for her clients and community. She will use anything at her fingertips to support those she can, utilizing a “I got mine, now let me help you get yours” mentality. She sees her sponsorship, encouragement, and support as an investment in great, upcoming people, businesses, and organizations–future change-makers! She mentors by helping to open up doors for her clients, who help to better her community.

Now, What Does She Hope To See From Her Community?

She wants to see you, yes you readers, contributing to your communities! It can be through time, gifts, resources, or any other way of getting involved. She wants to see more community-centered businesses that are dedicated to the growth of their communities. If they build reciprocal relationships, then businesses can connect more with their consumers! She wants to see a united front of businesses, all dedicated to the same goal–bettering community. For Cynthia, businesses need to go at this goal with “more of a bang”.

We all need hope in our lives. Only by sharing our stories, experiences, advice, and wisdom with others can we encourage hope to grow!

Another Mentor Inspiration…My Nana!

on January 15, 2015January 15, 2015 By kellyfairthementor

As January is National Mentoring Month. I want to take the time to share with you one of my most favorite people…my Nana! She has inspired me in many ways, including in my mentoring career. My Nana showed me that mentoring takes many different forms. One way that people can be mentors to their community, is by having a commitment to service. My Nana was an usher for 63 years!

As you read about my Nana, think about the people in your life who have inspired you. What have they taught you about mentoring or giving back to the community?

nana at bbq shop — Nana at her BBQ restaurant in Morgan Park

My mom always shared with me that our family has always instinctively served our community. My grandmother was dedicated to singing and playing the piano for her church choir at Resurrection Lutheran. My great-grandmother was the precinct captain in our old neighborhood, and made sure people in our community were equipped effectively to vote and cause change. And when the dire need presented itself years ago, as a father and local businessman, my grandpa purchased the first microscope for the black middle school in small south suburban village my mom grew up in. And, then of course there was my other great-grandmother, Maggie Peebles, who we all lovingly called “Nana.” Nana was an usher for 63 years at Arnette Chapel in the Morgan Park community here on the south side of Chicago. What a testament to service and commitment that is!

Years ago, Arnette Chapel decided to start a girls mentoring program, and during a Sunday service they asked girls to stand next to the woman who they wanted to mentor them. To her surprise, a young woman came and stood next to Nana. She couldn’t believe it. Nana hadn’t finished elementary school, and although she had owned her own barbecue restaurant for a short time, she was primarily a domestic worker. She was amazed that a young girl would want to be mentored by her, because she didn’t feel that she had anything substantial to offer this girl. But, what she didn’t realize was that this girl and many others looked up to Nana because of her strong commitment to servicing her church and community. Nana was not only this strong, but loving and sweet, usher ready to take her post every Sunday. But, she was also one of the primary cooks serving up those chicken dinners after service in the church basement. And, everybody loved Nana, because Nana always made sure EVERYBODY had enough to eat!

In today’s society, it’s easy to understand that many of us are just “keeping are heads above water.” Many of us are primarily focused on economic and professional attainment to improve the status for ourselves and our immediate families. In this new millennium, it’s hard to imagine how anyone can keep a commitment to a volunteer position for 63 years, when it seems staying with the same job, and most marriages don’t make it for 5-10 years. But, with the challenges were having in our community with violence, poor education, and struggling family and community infrastructures, how can we not find time to tithe our time much in the way that Nana, and many of our parents, grand parents, and elders did? We are who we are today and experience the success and freedoms we do, because our elders made a sacrifice to tithe their time, talents, and service to the betterment of their community and the betterment of their future us. What a self-less investment? Nana, and her fellow ushers didn’t take “selfies” or group pics after they served on Sundays and post them to Facebook or Instagram to show all their social media followers and fans how they were “holding it down” for their community. Nope, they just did the work often with no obvious recognition. Service was a part of their lifestyle.

So, it’s essentially our duty to make sure that we are doing the same in our old communities for the next generation, whether they be children in your family or not. We are all one family. So, no excuses you have to find the time volunteer at least once a month. You have to find time to make a phone call or email a week to that teenager who you know is in need of some guidance. Or, if you’re a practitioner like me, stick with your work! And, despite all of the set backs and challenges don’t give up and continue to serve.

A commitment to service is definitely a lifestyle choice I hope more of us choose to adopt because SERVICE is a cornerstone of mentoring!