Mentorship Archives - Kelly Fair | Speaker + Consultant

Relevant Reblog: Who Will Your Daughters Become? …Heroes!

on February 23, 2017February 23, 2017 By kellyfairthementor

As February comes to an end and March begins, we want to turn our attention to the wonderful black women that have shaped us. Two years ago we shared these photos of girls dressing up as their inspirations because #BlackGirlMagic is real! As these powerful, impactful black women will never be to outdated to celebrate, we want to re-share their power with you!

“I am overwhelmed by the grace and persistence of my people.”

-Maya Angelou

This beautiful collection was found on Upworthy. Click on one of these inspiring girl’s photos to open up a slideshow.

We want to take this time to thank some important people who

made our Daddy Daughter Dance a blast!

Our MC: Mr. Hpnotiq

Our DJ: Cory Vicious

Sponsors:

Cocktails 4 Entertainment

BrownSugar’s Balloon Designs and Academy

Jewel Osco

Cupcakes by Alicia

Are Black Beauty Standards Better About Inclusion?

on October 6, 2016October 6, 2016 By kellyfairthementor

October marks Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Now, you might be thinking: “what does beauty standards have to do with domestic violence?” And I’m here to tell you that they are linked…and it will all be explained in a future post about Domestic Violence. For now, know that the larger issues of sexism and racism play a part; and these are apparent in our beauty standards and our treatment of women.

Our society has normalized white beauty leaving little to no space for women of color. This doesn’t mean women of color have been quiet…not at all! There have been many movements created by women of color to celebrate their unique beauty. And we love all that self-love!

Although we are creating space and change in society with these movements and with these ideas, we are still not perfect. According to Demtria Lucas D’Oyley from The Root:

“There’s nothing wrong with celebrating beauty or black culture distinguishing itself by celebrating our own outlook. But it is important that in our conversations and perspectives about beauty, we make room to be inclusive of many shapes, sizes and curves—even those without them.”

Women of color and white women struggle with notions of body image—especially meeting unrealistic expectations. In her article, Demetria mentions Tiara Harris as having a “figure that is ‘ideal’ for black women—narrow waist, ample bosom, thick thighs, and prominent rear”. These idealizations have caused many women who do not have this figure naturally to seek ways to “enhance” their natural shapes. Charing Ball of Madame Noire shares her insecurity about her own figure:

“I’ve always been insecure about my behind – or lack thereof. Growing up it wasn’t easy being the black girl without a big butt. I remember having a boyfriend frankly tell me one time that my big breasts, thick thighs and hips were nice but I would “look better” if I had a bigger behind. He wasn’t the only one who told me that. Even my closest girlfriends chide[d] me about my “white girl” shape.”

When creating space for inclusion in our society’s beauty world, it is important not to accidentally exclude people even more. We want women of all shapes and hues to know that they are beautiful, special, and unique.

And it is essential that this conversation is had without the backdrop of boys or men. When we discuss women’s beauty in context of the male gaze, we are uniting the two as one unit. However, a woman’s beauty is not based on a man’s approval. While we may know this in the back of our minds, it does not always follow through in our initial thoughts or conversations. A woman’s beauty comes from her mind, heart, and soul. It is not based on our face, our figure, or a man’s approval.

Don’t limit yourselves. Stay confident. Stay beautiful.

How can you encourage positive self-esteem in your girls?

Let them know they are beautiful not “despite” physical appearances, but because of everything that makes them who they are
Show them women of all sizes, hair styles, skin color, and figures to let them know that variety and diversity exist and are beautiful
Be a good role model! Don’t put other women down for not being “ideal”
Connect your girls with supportive mentoring groups that encourage positive self-esteem

Inspire the Next Generation of Working Women

on March 10, 2016March 10, 2016 By kellyfairthementor

Women have come a long way since first becoming major players in the workforce. No longer delegated to “women’s work”, we are making waves! In fact, it seems that each generation of women is setting their sights higher and higher when it comes to career aspirations.

The Millennial Generation (born between 1980-1995) has been fighting for significant changes in the work place. From equal pay for women and extended family leave to better health care and more flexible work hours. However, it seems that there is also significant dissatisfaction within the Millennial Generation. According to a study by Deloitte, two thirds of millennials will leave their job by the year 2020.

While many Millennials have already attained senior positions, much remains to be done. More than six in 10 Millennials (63 percent) say their “leadership skills are not being fully developed.”…Of great significance in the current survey results is the finding that 71 percent of those likely to leave in the next two years are unhappy with how their leadership skills are being developed.

Rather than a lack of loyalty, this is telling me that the Millennial Generation wants to be challenged. They want to work for an organization that will give them a purpose–push them to succeed.

Unfortunately, there are still large gender gaps when it comes to available employment opportunities and equal pay. According to a global study, a significant number of women in the United States feel that their gender inhibits their opportunities. See the image below:

Screen Shot 2016-03-09 at 9.58.42 PM — Thomas Reuters Foundation

This emphasis on workplace happiness will only become more important to our most recent generation. Generation Z (1995 to present) are just entering the workforce and according to research, 28% want to be in their dream job after college.

What can we do to ensure that the future generation of working women are entering the fields and leadership positions they want?

Don’t fall into the trap of perpetuating stereotypes when it comes to women in the workforce; encourage her aspirations!
Have a conversation with your daughter about her career goals and how she plans on reaching them.
Expose your girls not only to diverse women in the workforce, but women in diverse workforces. Let her know about all the opportunities available to her.

And if you need a little help giving your daughter #CareerGoals. Bring her to Polished Pebbles’ Annual Women’s Career Panel this Saturday March 12!

KFair’s New Year’s Resolutions for Aspiring Entrepreneurs

on January 7, 2016January 7, 2016 By kellyfairthementor

Another New Year, another set of New Year’s resolutions. This January we want you to be the best you that you can be! And it just so happens that January is National Mentoring Month! So, here are Kelly Fair’s New Year’s Resolutions to provide some inspiration for aspiring entrepreneurs and change-makers.

6 New Year’s Resolutions for 2016:

1) Declutter and Reorganize. In this New Year, you need to pull it all together! Go through your home and office and remove what you don’t need. Remember, it doesn’t have to go in the garbage. Some of your items can be donated (even office supplies), or have a garage sale! I used to make the mistake of holding on to old clothes that no longer fit me, because I lost weight. What I found out was if I didn’t get rid of the clothes, or get them altered to fit my new size, I eventually found my way to fitting them again. So, pigeonholed clothes that were too big for me cleared things out, and kept me out of a cycle of weight gain. By decluttering and reorganizing you will feel refreshed and ready for a year of productivity. No more losing important documents, your favorite pen.

2) Understand Your Finances. This is key to having a successful year! This applies not only to any business or non-profit endeavors, but your personal life as well. But, I’ve found my improved financial habits in my business, help me create better habits while managing my personal financial matters as well. Consider creating a money management system to show you how much your spending, what you’re spending it on, and how much you are saving. You won’t believe what kind of waste might be happening right under your nose from mindless money management. If you aren’t sure how to tackle this project, go to your library and check out a book on finance management, and seek referrals from trusted people for a great financial planner, or accountant that can help improve your personal and professional outcomes.

3) Be Social, Be Smart. As years pass, it gets harder to maintain relationships. Make it a goal this year to reconnect with those who are lost and strengthen your ties with the people around you. But that doesn’t mean you have to become best friends with everybody! Be smart about your social life. Surround yourself with the people who support you. You’re gonna be tackling some big plans this year and you need all the encouragement and constructive feedback you can get! And, as a mentor, or one running a mentoring organization, good people will support you even when your youth and community work Jerrod you really busy, and won’t allow you to have as much social time. Good people can recognize and sorry you in your passions. Most importantly, don’t lose touch with your mentors–if they taught you something before, they can teach you something now.

4) Read More. You should never stop reading. Novels, poetry, how-to’s, and history books–they all have something to offer us. And don’t forget to read more news. Stay updated on current events locally, nationally, and globally. How can you expect to change the world if you don’t know what is happening in the world. Stay updated!

5) Act. This year isn’t going to be just another year of dreaming and hoping. This year you are going to take action. Is there a non-profit you wanted to start or an entrepreneurial endeavor you’ve been planning, or have you been planning to support others’-mentoring organizations in greater capacity? 2016 is the year you are going to make it happen. So find that pen and paper and start planning. You need weekly and monthly goals to keep yourself moving forward. And somebody to hold you accountable!

6) Find Time For Yourself. Never lose sight of your own health. You have to be at the best you can be this year to accomplish your goals. Find time everyday for some self-care. Whether its an a work out, meditation, at-home manicure or your favorite TV show, give yourself that time to relax! We want you to be at your most productive, passionate, and confident self!

We believe that when you are at your best, then you are in the optimal position to not only impact the lives of others, but to be the best leader you can be.

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What’s Love Got To Do With It?

on December 17, 2015December 17, 2015 By kellyfairthementor

What’s love got to do with it? Absolutely everything!

During the holiday season there is a lot of talk about holiday giving–donating time or money to support our communities. And we don’t want you to forget that Polished Pebbles Girls Mentoring Program is an integral part of your community! And if you love us, then it just increases all the good feels that comes with donating.

What are some of those things you love about us? Take a look!

OUR MISSION

The mission of the Polished Pebbles Girls Mentoring Program is to provide
girls (7-17 years old) with the opportunity of learning the vital life skill of effective communication. Our Polished Pebbles Girls Mentoring program instills confidence in girls to face the challenges of daily life by substituting aggressive forms of communicating and problem solving with new strategies that allow them to gain a solid reputation and respect without retaliating.

OUR PILLARS

Communication – Our focus is mentoring girls to become strong, effective communicators in all aspects, including interpersonal communication and communicating respectfully with adults and peers.

Career Exploration – Girls apply newly learned communication skills in a real work environment through on-site job shadowing and workforce development opportunities that link technical, social, and emotional learning skills to college and career opportunities.

Community – A primary goal of our program is to create a space and place for members of the schools’ communities and the city’s corporate residents to impact youth and bring about change in their local communities.

OUR IMPACT

Our girls in the Polished Pebbles program are developing into professional young women. They are setting their goals higher and higher as they learn just how awesome it is to be a woman! We want them to know that success is in reach and that they have a whole community of men and women (mentors) ready to support them on their path. All of this while having fun!

And we need your help to keep this going! Share some of the holiday cheer by donating to Polished Pebbles Girls Mentoring Program! We appreciate gifts of all shapes and sizes! Thank you in advance for your generosity!

Share the Love

Banding Together with Blue 1647

on December 10, 2015December 10, 2015 By kellyfairthementor

Last week we shared with you the surprising truth behind women in technology careers. There is a serious need for women in technology and some serious barriers to break down to accomplish that.

The biggest is the stereotype that men are better than women at all things STEM–Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math. Now, we know this isn’t true! But, we need your help to convince the rest of society! Our girls’ interest in technology should not be diminished by stereotypes. If your daughter loves to be creative, loves solving puzzles, and loves to use her brain…join us this Saturday! We want to fuel her desire for technology careers.

Polished Pebbles is banding together with Blue 1647 to provide your girls with an exciting service and learning opportunity. Let your girls learn the power of code and computers! We want them to know that all doors are open to them, including those in technology!

We hope to see you there!

Ladies, Let’s Get Techie

on December 3, 2015December 3, 2015 By kellyfairthementor

We all know that women are just as good as men when it comes to STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math) careers. Society has been pushing to close the gender gap for jobs in these sectors—successfully! According to a HuffPost article, in 2013 more than half of all US biological scientists were women. More women are entering the careers in the life sciences; think biology, genetics, and even zoology.

But, this push towards gender equality in STEM hasn’t been felt equally across the fields. The number of men in technology/computing careers still ridiculously outweighs that of women. Consider this:

“At Google, women make up 30 percent of the company’s overall workforce, but hold only 17 percent of the company’s tech jobs. At Facebook, 15 percent of tech roles are staffed by women. At Twitter, it’s a laughable 10 percent. For non-technical jobs at Twitter (think marketing, HR, sales), the gender split is 50-50.”

While women are getting careers at tech companies, they are not actually involved in computing roles. So, what gives?

It’s the same old story. Our society has perpetuated the myth that boys are better at maths and sciences than girls. While many of us know that this is a stereotype and does not actually reflect real abilities, it still influences how we operate. HuffPost states, “Men are twice as likely as women to be hired for a job in mathematics when the only difference between candidates is gender.”

That type of thinking is what needs to be stopped! We need our girls to know that their gender does not influence their intelligence or abilities. Girls, boys, and those outside the gender binary are all able to learn computing skills and apply those skills to future careers. And why would you not? Technology and computing careers are some of the fastest growing fields in the United States—it is a means for success.

According to General Motors CEO Mary Barra, “There will be a war for technical talent.” At Polished Pebbles we want to properly prepare our girls for this battle. Join us this Second Saturday, December 12 at Blue 1647 to learn about opportunities in technology and computing! You don’t want to miss out on this opportunity to jumpstart your daughter’s interest in these exciting fields.

Let’s combat the stereotype together!

A Day of Generosity: #GivingTuesday

on November 26, 2015November 26, 2015 By kellyfairthementor

Today is the day we give thanks. We express our gratitude to family, friends, mentors, role models, and even local organizations striving to better their community.

This Thanksgiving, Polished Pebbles Girls Mentoring Program has a message for our supporters:

It is because of your generosity and love that we are able to keep doing what we’re doing…supporting your girls! We love being a positive influence in our community. Our Pebbles are growing up to be accomplished, successful young women and we could not be more proud!

You are the force that keeps Polished Pebbles moving forward. And we want you to know how to keep being a positive influence in your community. We are asking you to be a part of #GivingTuesday.

What is #GivingTuesday?

We have a day for giving thanks. We have two for getting deals. Now, we have #GivingTuesday, a global day dedicated to giving back. On Tuesday, December 1, 2015, charities, families, businesses, community centers, and students around the world will come together for one common purpose: to celebrate generosity and to give.

It’s a simple idea. Just find a way for your family, your community, your company or your organization to come together to give something more.

If you want to join the movement, consider joining Polished Pebble’s Monthly Giving Program. Learn more about Monthly Giving here…

If you aren’t able to contribute a monetarily, consider donating your time, commitment, and love! We are always looking for volunteers for our program! Learn more at our website…

For today, enjoy your turkey!

A Healthy Body Image Starts in the Mind!

on November 19, 2015November 19, 2015 By kellyfairthementor

By: Lauran A. Smith, Polished Pebbles Correspondent

What do you think of yourself? Is your perception of who you are determined by what you see?

I was very excited to sit with Polished Pebbles Mentoring on November 14th, as they hosted a discussion on “Healthy Body Image”. It brought me back to my own childhood days, and it forced me to recall that we ALL have experienced a time where we questioned our worth…whether publicly or privately. I was teased as a child about the hue of my skin, and I remember the countless days of returning home, informing my Parents about how the kids talked about me and what they said. One thing is for certain; the Guest Speakers for the Healthy Body Image discussion certainly provided insight as to how they managed to deal with their body image issues.

Brandi advised: “…choose you, because there is no other you…”. Brandi dealt with the issue of children teasing her about her height, and instead of her allowing someone to make her feel out of place because of this, she embraced it and decided that she would take the route of building off of what others considered to be “different”. She started a special series called “Tall Tales”, and was even given 30 pairs of shoes from Oprah Winfrey herself!

Rocki taught us: “…you’re not going to be accepted 100%–so what…”. Rocki dealt with personal weight issues, and was (at one point) convinced that she would be at a certain weight for the rest of her life. Once she began to work out, change her eating habits, and started to see her results, she was then sought out to teach her own fitness classes, and even has a wait list for people wanting to attend her sessions!

Ashanti gave us a quote that has helped to sustain her: “my Father always said that if you pray for anything, pray for happiness”. Ashanti dealt with body issues, and wanting certain areas of her body to look differently. After leaving California for “The Windy City”, Ashanti had a continued vision to seek her happiness, and is now the owner of 360 Mind Body Soul, the “Physique Factory” which is a one of a kind fitness studio, returning You To You!

A Healthy Body Image truly begins in your own mind, and not in another’s perception of you. With social media, reality television, and the internet sensations running rampant with plastic surgery and the like, our girls need to be reminded that who they are is “enough”!

“Healthy” Body Image simply means that there is a positive view of “you”, flaws and all!

Free Fun! Join Us For Second Saturdays!

on November 12, 2015November 12, 2015 By kellyfairthementor

Polished Pebbles hosts a free Second Saturday event for girls every month. Our programming focuses on building positive relationships, increasing self-esteem, and most of all…having fun! Last month we celebrated October with some “Old School Games”. Check out our vimeo below!

[vimeo 144889177 w=500 h=281]

All this month we have been discussing healthy body image for our girls. This Saturday, November 14 we are hosting our Second Saturday event: “Too Tall, Too Skinny, Too…”. We will have guest speakers sharing their own journeys towards self-acceptance, self-love, and an overall healthy body image! Come listen to the owner of 360 Mind Body Soul Fitness studio, Ashanti Johnson!