Tag: mentoring

You Should Know: L’Oreal Thompson Payton

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unnamedWe want you to know L’Oreal Thompson Payton!

A Charm City girl in the Windy City, L’Oreal Thompson Payton is a professional storyteller with a penchant for people and a passion for purple. When she’s not busy writing, L’Oreal enjoys reading, dancing and devouring delicious cupcakes. Follow L’Oreal on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram and visit her blog at LTintheCity.com.

How did you first get involved with Polished Pebbles?

I started volunteering with Polished Pebbles in January 2014. I had recently moved to Chicago and I desperately wanted to “give back” to the community. Helping young girls, especially young Black girls, has always been a passion of mine and I wanted to get involved with an organization that did just that. I came across Polished Pebbles in a Google search and, coincidentally, was later introduced to the founder, Kelly Fair, in my previous position as the Digital Content Editor for JET magazine. I recall attending the Second Saturday program that January (it was a Zumba class) and immediately falling in love with the program and the girls.

What is your role as a mentor for youth, primarily young, black girls, in your community?

As a mentor, my primary goal is to serve as a positive role model for young Black girls in the community. I’m always available to help and offer advice and really just be their biggest cheerleader. We all need someone in our corner cheering us on and shouting, “You can do it!” I believe in our girls and I want to be an example to them that anything is possible. I want them to see what I’ve accomplished and know that they can do it, too.

Who are the stand-out mentors in your life?

Wow, I have so many! First and foremost, my mom has constantly demonstrated what it means to be an upstanding daughter, wife, mother, business woman and woman of God. She is my rock.

Throughout my career, I’ve been fortunate to have several female editors who’ve taken me under their wings. Because of those editors, I’ve learned valuable life and career skills that I firmly believe have contributed to my overall success. I simply wouldn’t be here without the wonderful women (and loving men) in my life.

What ignited your passion for giving back to the community?

In middle school, I was constantly bullied for being smart (I skipped a grade), talking “White,” and for being ugly. There were nights when I prayed to God to make me White so I would be more beautiful. I literally hated the color of my skin and felt so unworthy. As an adult, I’ve realized I’m probably not the only girl who’s ever felt this way and it’s my personal mission to help young girls so hopefully they never have to feel that way.

How do you define philanthropy? How do you engage with it?

The Greek definition of philanthropy is “love of humanity.” For the most part, I think people typically equate philanthropy with rich people who donate a lot of money to a good cause. So I don’t consider myself a philanthropist in that sense of the word, but rather the original Greek version: I have a love of helping young girls.

There are plenty of ways to make a difference–whether it’s donating your time, money and/or talent; however, I do believe it’s important to “put your money where your mouth is,” which is why I contribute to Polished Pebbles on a regular basis. It’s an organization I truly believe in so I want to invest in our girls and help them succeed.

What is one barrier affecting young, black girls you have identified? Any solutions?

Nowadays, there are so many programs, such as My Brother’s Keeper, dedicated to helping young Black men, which is both awesome and necessary. But what about the girls? They live in the same neighborhoods as these young men, but it seems as though their needs and issues are often overlooked. I think programs like Polished Pebbles are part of the solution, but we can’t do it alone.

We need big companies to make an investment and show are girls they are valuable and worthy. For example, Google donated $190,000 to Black Girls Code last year…that’s a huge step in the right direction and other companies should follow in their footsteps. But the real work starts at home with positive role models in the community leading the way.

Do you have any final thoughts for us?

My hope is that every young Black girl will grow up knowing she is beautiful and worthy. I want each of them to feel empowered to accomplish their dreams and goals.

What Is Informed Giving?

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For the month of April we want to talk about philanthropy. As we shared in last week’s post, giving to others leads to happiness! Now that you may be thinking about donating, we want you to be informed. You may think there isn’t much for you to know because you are an individual and not a corporation, but there really is! We want your $10, $20, $50, or $100 donation to benefit a positive, worthy organization. 

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Here are some tips to help you decide when to donate, and who to donate to:

  • Location. Where is this organization located? Is it in your community or state, is it in the US or is it abroad? Think about what is important to you. While you may love what an international organization is achieving half way across the world, you might feel more satisfaction being part of change you can see.
  • Scope. Similar to location, what is the breadth of this organization? Do they have a local focus or an international component. Is this important to you?
  • Population. Who is this organization serving? If there is a particular population that interests you, you should seek out organizations that are empowering those communities. Perhaps you love working with youth and want to donate money to a mentoring organization. Or an environmental organization that focuses on endangered animals. What drives your passion? Find that, and be part of that positive change!
  • Values. What are the values and mission of the organization? Do you agree with them? While you may love what an organization is doing in a community, you might not love their values. Think about what is important to you, and what you can and cannot support. Your values may differ religiously, politically, or ethically.
  • Time. Where are you in your life? If you are feeling pressure financially, wait! There is no rush to donate to an organization. You don’t want to regret that donation you made, it could lead to guilt! Some people find it best to donate after retirement or when they settle into a stable career. If its a small donation, maybe that $5 you found on the street can go towards the community program providing ESL courses. Decide what time is best for you.
  • Future. What are the long-term goals of this organization? And can you see them reaching these goals?You don’t want to donate to an organization only to find out they went under a few months laster. This doesn’t mean you only donate to long-standing organizations. Just choose ones that seem to be on the right path. Trust your gut, and your heart.

If you’re really feeling up to the challenge of being an informed giver, check out this list of investment strategies from Strategic Philanthropy.

Now that you have all of this knowledge in your head, go out and make a difference as an informed giver!

Women Making Herstory

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Last week we shared with you black women who made herstory. Today, we want you to know women who are making herstory! These black women will inspire you to put your best foot forward. You could even raise your daughter to be like one of these heroins, these herstory-makers!

Positive Men: Tony Porter

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As we close up February’s Men’s Month, we would like to share with you a TedTalk by Tony Porter. In “A Call to Men”, Mr. Porter shares the constricting nature of masculinity.

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Growing up as a boy, we were taught that men had to be tough, had to be strong, had to be courageous, dominating — no pain, no emotions, with the exception of anger — and definitely no fear; that men are in charge, which means women are not; that men lead, and you should just follow and do what we say; that men are superior; women are inferior; that men are strong; women are weak; that women are of less value, property of men, and objects, particularly sexual objects. I’ve later come to know that to be the collective socialization of men, better known as the “man box.”

He believes that the socialization of men has strongly influenced the gender dynamics and issues we see today. Manhood has become problematic not only for women, but for men as well. He very carefully explains that although not all men are violent, not all men abuse women or see them as inferior, but “men, good men, the large majority of men, we operate on the foundation of this whole collective socialization. We kind of see ourselves separate, but we’re very much a part of it.”

Mr. Porter believes that to end the epidemic of violence against women, we have to change the nature of masculinity. How would this change our youth, our boys?

I remember asking a nine-year-old boy, I asked a nine-year-old boy, “What would life be like for you, if you didn’t have to adhere to this man box?” He said to me, “I would be free.”

Positive Men: Don Krause

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Mr. Don Krause is up next for our Men’s Month highlight! He has been a strong unnamedsupporter of both Polished Pebbles and Kelly Fair. He was more than happy to answer 3 important questions for us!

What lead you to start supporting Polished Pebbles?

Mr. Krause first met Kelly Fair at Bright Star Church. He was immediately impressed with her presence and dedication. Mr. Krause was equally impressed with Polished Pebbles and the professional young ladies that left the program. As “everybody needs life skills”, it made sense to him to support such an organization! The girls are learning how to “present [themselves] properly…communicate properly” and how to be competitive in their future endeavors.

Thank you Mr. Krause for the kind words!

What is one crisis you see young, African-American girls facing? How can we intervene?

He sees young girls “growing up in an area where they are exposed to violence…negative influences”. He thinks that because of this, it can be hard for these girls to “believe that their dreams can come true”. He sees the girls going through the Polished Pebbles Program as capable and bright! Mr. Krause believes that we can intervene by becoming more involved in the lives of youth. Although there are huge divisions in our society, we can come together to to donate resources and time to better the opportunities for our youth. He wants communities to realize that money is not always the necessary intervention. It takes proper administration for organizations to provide community supports. “You can be a positive influence to somebody”.

What advice do you have for other male mentors?

“Encouragement”! That is the advice Mr. Krause has for male mentors. We need to encourage our youth, especially young girls to reach their full potential. “You don’t know how little you do can mean so much. It’s the words of encouragement, it’s that smile, it’s giving someone a compliment, it’s giving someone your advice…letting them know they can get through it”. He wants male mentors to know that there are many rewards for the time, effort, and resources you donate to community.

You tell ’em Mr. Krause! Thank you for taking the time to be interviewed! And thank you for being such a positive male role model for young African American ladies, keep spreading your message!

Positive Men: Shayne Evans

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It’s Men’s Month! At KellyFairtheMentor.com we are highlighting positive male role models in the Chicago community…and you should meet them!

socialmention_shayne_evans_4553162Our first feature will be on Mr. Shayne Evans.  Mr. Evans is the CEO and Director of University of Chicago Charter Schools. “Through effective leadership, Evans works to strengthen the collaborations that exist among the four campuses and create new partnerships to leverage the expertise of teachers, leaders, counselors, social workers, tutors, and after-school providers.” This is apparent through his collaboration with Polished Pebbles. The Donoghue, NKO, and Woodlawn campuses host the Polished Pebbles mentoring program for their young ladies.

We had the pleasure of hearing from Mr. Evans on three important questions!

What lead you to start supporting Polished Pebbles?

From the beginning, Mr. Shayne Evans was a “huge believer in Kelly’s vision for young ladies.” Through conversations, he could tell that Kelly see the potential, power, and futures of these girls. Her vision matched his for his young ladies at UC Charter Schools. He was heavily impressed by Kelly’s connections to entrepreneurial and well-rounded people, who became her network of mentors and role models for his young ladies. He says that, “her optimism and positive approach helps her to overcome obstacles”. Due to all of this, Mr. Evans had no other option, but to bring Polished Pebbles to some of his campuses.

Thank you Mr. Evans for seeing Polished Pebble’s potential! Because we see the same in your young ladies at UC Charters!

What is one crisis you see young, African-American girls facing? How can we intervene?

Mr. Evans finds that “often society presents stereotypical views of young African-American ladies”. Because of this, their exists a “belief gap of what black and brown young ladies…are capable of”. This can be detrimental to the way we treat these young ladies in the school system. He sees the UC Charter Schools and Polished Pebbles Mentoring Program as positive interventions. They help to create “counter narratives” of young African-American ladies. Together, they “reestablish a vision” of these young ladies as “leaders, problem-solvers, innovators, engineers, and role models”.

His response reminds us of a previous article on KellyFairtheMentor.com. Click here to listen to Chimamanda Adichie speak about stereotypes and how they affect self-development.

What advice do you have for other male mentors?

His advice for male role models is to develop positive, professional relationships youth, especially young ladies. Mr. Evans believes this can be done by being both warm and demanding. You want to establish and maintain high expectations–“academically, behaviorally, socially”. These supportive relationships can truly help girls as they grow. He wants men to come together and work as a community to create positive opportunities for youth–“it is a joint effort”!

At KellyFairtheMentor.com and Polished Pebbles, we want to thank Mr. Shayne Evans for both taking the time to speak with us and for believing in our girls! Thank you for being such a positive male role model for young African American ladies, keep spreading your message!

What You Can Learn From Cameka Smith

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Last week we shared with you Cynthia Boykin of What U Need Is… Today we want everyone to know about Cameka Smith of BOSS Network.

screen-shot-2014-12-10-at-10-42-51-pmCameka Smith is the founder of BOSS Network, “Bringing Out Successful Sisters”. With a Master’s in Education, Cameka has dedicated herself to supporting the entrepreneurial spirit in women. As BOSS Network so succinctly and powerfully describes their founder, “Speaker, trainer, and award-winning entrepreneur…BOSS Network has evolved into a go-to resource for companies seeking female influencers as their target market. A one-stop-shop for career and entrepreneurial minded women”.

What Is She Proud Of?

Cameka Smith finds pride in her educational achievement. Coming from “an environment where most of my peers were looked at as a statistic”, her MA in Education helps her to work for change in her community! During her teaching career, she found enjoyment in working with at-risk youth. When her students follow their dreams she is able to see the impact she has had–their successes become her successes. This has been her constant reward. Her transition into BOSS Network only added to her positive influence in her community. Cameka is proud to be seen as an expert or industry influencer in her field.

Who Have Been Her Mentors, Her Motivators?

Cameka Smith sees the “every day women in her life”, her mother and aunts, as her greatest motivators. She came from a big, connected, and loving family that always maintained faith and commitment to one another and community. Seeing their commitment and love inspired her to maintain the same values. They have encouraged her to have a dedication to service and helping others. Cameka acknowledges her teachers, professors, and counselors who encouraged her to attain her Masters. Her education has truly helped her get to where she is today. The very women she works with through the BOSS Network are her mentors. They inspire her to keep working harder, to be creative.

Does She Think She’s A Mentor? …Because We Sure Do!

Cameka Smith first saw herself as a mentor when she began her career in education. She saw the need to provide positive role models for her students and other youth, so she acted! She began to create mentor programs for students. She wanted to showcase young professionals; let them “see what they can become” from “all walks of life”. She encourages youth, especially young girls, to join mentoring programs and to push their future visions. Cameka sees her entire career as building up youth into confident, successful young adults. We are thankful for Cameka and her work!

Now, What Does She Hope To See From Her Community?

Cameka reminds us all that “if you have lived on this earth, then you have something that you’ve been through…that you can share with another person”. So, do just that! She would like to see more community involvement in mentoring programs for youth (at Polished Pebbles, we agree!). Cameka sees women of color as essential contirbuters to their communities because they are natural role models and leaders. Cameka wants me to remind readers that for her, it was the “everyday women” who had the greatest impact on her. Which means there is nothing standing in your way!

People need hope, and sometimes we forget that hope exists within all of us. Mentors can be the spark that ignites the fire. Thank you Cameka for sharing this message with us!

What You Can Learn From Cynthia Boykin

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At KellyFairtheMentor.com, we had the opportunity to interview Cynthia Boykin of What U Need Is… We are happy to share with you her insights and inspirations for mentoring and strengthening community!

Screen Shot 2015-01-21 at 12.03.32 PMFirst, a little bio on our wonderful Cynthia Boykin. “The Master Networker”, she is the founder of What U Need Is…an essential connection between businesses and consumers in Chicago. As is said about the founder, “Cynthia is known for being able to build relationships, connecting the right people together skillfully and swiftly.”

What Is She Proud Of?

Cynthia Boykin is proud to be on the leadership board of BOSS Network. Through this opportunity she was able to meet one of her mentors, Beverly Johnson (first black woman on the cover of Vogue). Following in her mentors footsteps, Cynthia was honored by being on the cover of Black Pages International Magazine in 2011 and 2012! Cynthia was honored to have been nominated as one of the 50 Women of Distinction by Six Brown Chicks. She’s proud to be part of such a vibrant, successful community of women entrepreneurs and business owners.

Who Have Been Her Mentors, Her Motivators?

Cynthia Boykin immediately thinks of the most positive influence in her life–her mother. Cynthia says that her mother is a “woman who lead by example”. In 1952 she joined the Women’s Army Corps, pushing gender boundaries to find fulfillment in her life. She has found that all the women in her life have been role models. Working with so many women entrepreneurs and go-getters have filled her head with many mentoring faces. Cynthia warmly gave an appreciated shout out to Kelly Fair, citing her work with Polished Pebbles as one of the best young girls mentoring program in Chicago. Thank you Ms. Cynthia Boykin!

Polished Pebbles works to provide examples of women, like Cynthia Boykin, to our girls. This can positively influence their self-perception, and goal setting! When surrounded by such intelligent, strong women it is hard not to set such high goals!

Does She Think She’s A Mentor? …Because We Sure Do!

Cynthia Boykin described herself as a possible example for other women. Now, here at Polished Pebbles we think she is being too modest. We are here to tell Cynthia Boykin, you are a mentor! She is a great resource connector and networker for her clients and community. She will use anything at her fingertips to support those she can, utilizing a “I got mine, now let me help you get yours” mentality. She sees her sponsorship, encouragement, and support as an investment in great, upcoming people, businesses, and organizations–future change-makers! She mentors by helping to open up doors for her clients, who help to better her community.

Now, What Does She Hope To See From Her Community?

She wants to see you, yes you readers, contributing to your communities! It can be through time, gifts, resources, or any other way of getting involved. She wants to see more community-centered businesses that are dedicated to the growth of their communities. If they build reciprocal relationships, then businesses can connect more with their consumers! She wants to see a united front of businesses, all dedicated to the same goal–bettering community. For Cynthia, businesses need to go at this goal with “more of a bang”.

We all need hope in our lives. Only by sharing our stories, experiences, advice, and wisdom with others can we encourage hope to grow!

Another Mentor Inspiration…My Nana!

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As January is National Mentoring Month. I want to take the time to share with you one of my most favorite people…my Nana! She has inspired me in many ways, including in my mentoring career. My Nana showed me that mentoring takes many different forms. One way that people can be mentors to their community, is by having a commitment to service. My Nana was an usher for 63 years!

As you read about my Nana, think about the people in your life who have inspired you. What have they taught you about mentoring or giving back to the community?

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Nana at her BBQ restaurant in Morgan Park

My mom always shared with me that our family has always instinctively served our community.  My grandmother was dedicated to singing and playing the piano for her church choir at Resurrection Lutheran.  My great-grandmother was the precinct captain in our old neighborhood, and made sure people in our community were equipped effectively to vote and cause change.  And when the dire need presented itself years ago, as a father and local businessman, my grandpa purchased the first microscope for the black middle school in small south suburban village my mom grew up in.  And, then of course there was my other great-grandmother, Maggie Peebles, who we all lovingly called “Nana.”  Nana was an usher for 63 years at Arnette Chapel in the Morgan Park community here on the south side of Chicago.  What a testament to service and commitment that is!

Years ago, Arnette Chapel decided to start a girls mentoring program, and during a Sunday service they asked girls to stand next to the woman who they wanted to mentor them.  To her surprise, a young woman came and stood next to Nana.  She couldn’t believe it.  Nana hadn’t finished elementary school, and although she had owned her own barbecue restaurant for a short time, she was primarily a domestic worker.  She was amazed that a young girl would want to be mentored by her, because she didn’t feel that she had anything substantial to offer this girl.  But, what she didn’t realize was that this girl and many others looked up to Nana because of her strong commitment to servicing her church and community.  Nana was not only this strong, but loving and sweet, usher ready to take her post every Sunday.  But, she was also one of the primary cooks serving up those chicken dinners after service in the church basement.  And, everybody loved Nana, because Nana always made sure EVERYBODY had enough to eat!

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In today’s society, it’s easy to understand that many of us are just “keeping are heads above water.”  Many of us are primarily focused on economic and professional attainment to improve the status for ourselves and our immediate families.  In this new millennium, it’s hard to imagine how anyone can keep a commitment to a volunteer position for 63 years, when it seems staying with the same job, and most marriages don’t make it for 5-10 years.  But, with the challenges were having in our community with violence, poor education, and struggling family and community infrastructures, how can we not find time to tithe our time much in the way that Nana, and many of our parents, grand parents, and elders did?  We are who we are today and experience the success and freedoms we do, because  our elders made a sacrifice to tithe their time, talents, and service to the betterment of their community and the betterment of their future us.  What a self-less investment?  Nana, and her fellow ushers didn’t take “selfies” or group pics after they served on Sundays and post them to Facebook or Instagram to show all their social media followers and fans how they were “holding it down” for their community.  Nope, they just did the work often with no obvious recognition.  Service was a part of their lifestyle.

Me and Nana at my 8th grade graduation
Me and Nana at my 8th grade graduation

So, it’s essentially our duty to make sure that we are doing the same in our old communities for the next generation, whether they be children in your family or not.  We are all one family.  So, no excuses you have to find the time volunteer at least once a month.  You have to find time to make a phone call or email a week to that teenager who you know is in need of some guidance.  Or, if you’re a practitioner like me, stick with your work!  And, despite all of the set backs and challenges don’t give up and continue to serve.

A commitment to service is definitely a lifestyle choice I hope more of us choose to adopt because SERVICE is a cornerstone of mentoring!

Happy Holidays!

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From KellyFairtheMentor and Polished Pebbles, we want to say MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY HOLIDAYS! May the holidays be a blessing to you and yours. Thank you for all that you do to support our girls!

If you would like to give a little gift this holiday season, consider donating to Polished Pebbles. It can be a one time, monthly, or annual donation. The upcoming 2015 is sure to be filled with many more activities and programs to enrich the lives of our girls. We would love your support! Donate here…

Let’s keep taking care of one another!