Tag: inspire

White By Default Affects Our Girls

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When talking about body image and how it affects our young girls, it is important to address an important factor. Idealized beauty, in the United States and many other countries, is Eurocentric. Meaning, white facial features, fashion trends, body VF-2012-Cover-210x300shape, and skin tone are idealized. According to Beauty Redefined, “Images of white women dominate all media – especially roles or depictions featuring “beautiful” or desirable women, not funny sidekicks, the chunky best friend, the hired help or other stereotypes.”

It would be silly and ill-informed to assume that this does not affect our young, black girls. When they don’t see girls on TV with curly, coily hair or darker skin, they start to believe that their natural selves should be hidden. Kadia Blagrove writes fashion articles and for the longest time never noticed that all her articles centered on women that looked nothing like her. She had been socialized into believing that “white is default”. Kadia writes, “First of all, diversity within the media is largely unbalanced. Diversity really means 90% white people and a few token people of color here and there.”

Sometimes I feel as if I need permission to be black. –Kadia Blagrove

Before we start pointing to black women in media who have become popular role models, such as Beyonce, we must read this from Beauty Redefined:

Though beautiful women of color like Beyonce, Jennifer Lopez, Queen Latifah, Rihanna, Jennifer Hudson, Halle Berry and others have achieved renown in U.S. culture, media representations of these women have become increasingly “anglicized” or “whitewashed” over time, with lighter-colored, straighter hair, lighter makeup, colored contacts and often shrinking figures. –Beauty Redefined

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Check out the website for their photos on how these celebrities “looks” have been altered throughout the years by style teams and digital media.

We need to show our girls that beautiful women of color exist! That they are present and powerful. Girls should not be pressured to straighten their hair or lighten their skin to be beautiful. It should be a personal choice made by their own decision, not by society’s beauty standards.

How can you help?

  • Show your girls beautiful, strong women who look like them
  • Alter their media choices to include more shows, magazines, or movies that include women of color
  • Engage in conversations about beauty and race
  • Empower your girls to love themselves
  • Be a role model, be a mentor

And, attend our November Second Saturday event on body image with 360 Mind Body Soul Fitness Studio!

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K. Fair Went Back to School

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Kelly Fair had the amazing opportunity to speak to future leaders at Duke University Women’s Center. She spent two days engaging with students, faculty, and staff on the mission and story of Polished Pebbles Girls Mentoring Program–to empower young women.

Kelly Fair’s visit to the Duke University Women’s Center reflects two critically important theoretical frameworks which underpin our mission: women serving as engaged leaders and social justice. Kelly epitomizes both and we are excited for our students to engage with her.

– Dr. Stephanie Helms-Pickett, Director, Duke University Women’s Center

As guest lecturer to the senior women’s seminar, Kelly was able to inspire young, college women on the importance of social justice work, and its intersection with business. Kelly spoke on how to jumpstart a non-profit organization. This includes how to brand not only your organization and mission, but yourself as a professional. Her story as a successful entrepreneur became a learning tool for Duke University. Further, Kelly’s work with Polished Pebbles Girls Mentoring Program speaks to the Duke Women’s Center focus on gender equity. Polished Pebbles empowers young girls by teaching them the vital life skill of effective communication. Kelly and Polished Pebbles encourage these girls to strive for leadership positions in their schools, communities, and futures. Goals which she now shares with Duke University Women’s Center.

Not to mention, she left with new friends…

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Let Your Light Shine!

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On September 17, 2015 we will be honoring our awardees and supporting Polished Pebbles Girls Mentoring Program at the Together She Will Shine Reception. If you have yet to RSVP for the event, click here to get your ticket. On this day, we take time to recognize the other side of the crisis; the obstacles that stand in the way of our black girls. We recognize the work that Polished Pebbles and our awardees have done to help clear the path to success for them.

A note from our founder, Kelly Fair:

Six years ago after leaving my corporate job, I sought to fill a void and keep a girls group mentoring program going in my community just like my mentor Rev. Dr. Linda Shepherd taught me right before her sudden death. I didn’t have huge plans for the organization to be much more than a monthly place where girls and women could come together and grow personally and professionally, collectively. Since that time, we have grown from serving two girls to well over 1200 in 40 different program sites. That’s all due to family, friends, volunteers, staff, and community members who have supported our work from the start. So often, people approach this work focused on what they want to impart upon young or the needy. But, my philosophy has always been “we are drawn to this work”, not always because of what we think we have to give, but instead we are in fact the very ones in need of the most love, and growth. My confidence, self worth, skill, ability to love others unconditionally, and wisdom grows daily because of my involvement in Polished Pebbles. Join me to celebrate 6 years of our growth as a community, and the altitudes we’ll go in six more years!

Here’s an idea of how YOUR support will help to create successful futures for our young girls…

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Tamia Davis: Inside Black Girls Lead!

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Black Girls Rock hosted their annual Black Girls Lead Conference this summer in New York, NY. It is an international leadership conference for young, black women to “offer girls tools and resources to become leaders, innovate, and serve confidently”. With 65 girls present from the U.S.A., Ghana, South Africa, Canada, and the UK, we are excited to announce that one of our own pebbles attended the conference! Tamia Davis, Polished Pebbles mentee and current summer intern at ThoughtWorks, attended the four day leadership conference in New York. Big thank you to the Microsoft store in Oakbrook for fully funding Tamia Davis. She learned a lot about herself and greater society during those four days and has a lot to share with you!

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How excited would you be if you got to participate in the Black Girls Rock Inc. Universal Conference–Black Girls Lead? IMG_9890Well let me tell you, it is exciting! I was among 65 girls accepted out of 500 applicants to come to New York and stay at Barnard college for their Black Girls Lead Conference. At first, I was scared because this was my first time traveling alone to a new place, especially one as big as New York. And not knowing anyone! All that fear went away when I stepped off the plane, I had a blast! 

The conference was a panel of different successful woman who taught us how to love the skin we’re in. Through the challenges they faced in their lives, they didn’t let their skin tone stop them. The founder of Black Girls Rock! Beverly Bond is an amazing person and I had the honor to meet with her. I also met with other successful women, such as Ebony Rose and Glenda Smiley, Mikki Taylor, Michaela Angela Davis, Eva Marcille, Dutches, Angela Beyonce, recording artists Lil Mama and Rhapsody, spokesman Marc Lamont Hill, and many more. They gave us lessons on how to successfully live our everyday lives. We took a variety of lessons during the four days we were there. We took dance classes at Alvin Ailey studios with one of the dance instructors, we took a poetry class with Ms. Lyrispect, and even finance classes. In between each panel they strived to build each girls confidence by having us get on stage and telling us why we rock.

imagejpeg_0It was so much fun and I really enjoyed my time in New York! I built relationships with the counselors that were watching over us, as well as the girls that came together from all over the world! Many times Ms. Glenda and Ms. Beverly Bond would play around on the mic. They came up with raps and shared them with us. It was hilarious–they are really fun loving people. Ms. Beverly Bond gave me the nickname Law and Order because I often expressed my love for law. I also met people involved with the BET foundation, such as the president of media Louis Carr and powerhouse entertainment lawyer Lisa Davis. We were even challenged to complete a 40 day social media campaign with Tai Beauchamp putting up pictures or quotes uplifting black girls with the hashtag #BGRTaiChallenge the winner gets some mystery prize. Overall, my experience in New York at Black Girls Lead was truly amazing. I’ve built connections and relationships with successful, inspiring women. For every girl at the conference this was a dream. And I am so excited to thank Polished Pebbles, who was behind me every step of the way.

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#WhatSheNeeds: Parental Support

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#WhatSheNeeds will provide insights into the experiences of black women in college. From the freshman transition to the affects of social media, these women have a lot to say! Black women are out enrolling every other group in college, but not experiencing the same high levels of success 4 years later in their careers. Through #WhatSheNeeds, we hope to learn a little more about what she needs to succeed–what did their institutions have and what were they lacking?

9f7c22d95fc8216af3dc1c340fa76760#WhatSheNeeds continues with our first topic…Parental Support! For all of our interviewees, parents have been incredible supports during the college experience. But sometimes, things got a little sticky. Parents always wants what is best for their children, but sometimes this causes tension for college students. As summer is quickly passing, all you parents are getting ready to send your daughters off to college–some for the first time! We want you to know how to best support your daughters in their academic career! Here is some advice from our lovely college women…

Anessa Trask said in her interview, “Your parent’s dream career for you, may not be YOUR dream career for you.”

This is exactly what Sadariah experienced…

Sadariah Harrel is majoring in Business Management, but her dream lies in the arts:

“I’m not in school for what I want to be in school for. Me, I’m more of the creative type; I’m more of the art time. I love to write…Anything that deals with my imagination, I love to do it. And I feel like it’s such a big thing in society being an African American female, being a female period. Its like you have to be in a field where it’s like business or computer science just so you can be competitive because you are a female. And my mother she’s a computer analyst so she’s like,  “You have to do that, you have to do this.” And I’m like “No, I love English and I love reading and I want to write”. And she’s like “No. If I’m paying then you’re going for what i want you to go for”…I wasn’t doing what I wanted to do. It wasn’t fun for me. It felt like I was being forced to do something.”

On the other hand, is Sydney Tyler:

“My family supports my major 100%. A lot of my family is health professionals, so it was pretty normal when I told them I was going into the health field. They’re loving it”

This isn’t to say one family is better or more supportive than another, but parenting style does affect the college experience. It can either drive a woman to success or make her feel a little lackluster about her future.

But don’t pity Sadariah. While pursuing her business major, she knows she can express her creativity in other ways. As she told me, “I can always publish books on the side”.

Mostly, these women just want to make their families proud:proud-to-be-the-first-blog-header

“I am first generation in my family. I am the only child of a single parent. It was my first college experience with applying to colleges and getting into college. And I did it. All with the support of my mom, and it was a wonderful experience.” –Sydney Tyler

“I’m the first to go so far away. I’m far away from my family. I’m out there on my own. I’m the first person to go to an HBCU, the first person to pledge a sorority, the first person to become a nursing major. Sometimes I feel a lot of pressure because I am doing so many firsts! And I don’t want to let anyone down, or disappoint anybody. So, I’m kind of harder on myself.” –Jasmine Hosley

“Throughout my entire life I kind of felt the most pressure because I’m the only child. I’ve always been, like the ‘brain’. My cousins would always call me that and say I was a nerd. And so, I always felt like I had to live up to that, you know, title of what was given to me. Because I knew, like, no one else was fitting that at the time” –Brittany Colvin

Terri Floyd summed up the role of the parent perfectly:

“I had my family, my parents are encouragers.”

To all you parents out there with daughters headed off to college, “Be encouragers!” Your daughters want and need your support for a successful college transition and experience. Remember, you both have the same priority; to succeed! 

#WhatSheNeeds: Meet the Women

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Last week we introduced our series, #WhatSheNeeds. #WhatSheNeeds will provide insights into the experiences of black women in college. From the freshman transition to the affects of social media, these women have a lot to say! Black women are out enrolling every other group in college, but not experiencing the same high levels of success 4 years later in their careers. Through #WhatSheNeeds, we hope to learn a little more about what she needs to succeed–what did their institutions have and what were they lacking?

Before we start sharing these women’s thoughts, let’s meet them! Click on the photo to pull up their info!

A Look Back: What Was Said at “On the Table”

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As many of you know, Kelly Fair lead an “On the Table” Discussion through the Chicago Community Trust. She presented on the other side of the crisis! Peel back the layers and see #blackgirlsmatter. Move past the tough exteriors and discover young vulnerable girls in need of love!

Were you unable to attend the On the Table Discussion? Don’t worry! We have a little video here for you to know the main points of the other side of the crisis and how you can help!

Let’s take a look back with this snippet:

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XGBGON-04sk&w=420&h=315]

Representation Matters…#ThankYouDocMcStuffins

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Have you heard of the trending #thankyoudocmcstuffins? Young African-American girls and their parents are sharing their Doc_mcstuffins_familyappreciation for a line of toys (and TV show) that feature a young, black girl as the lead! The Disney Junior Program “Doc McStuffins” brings a new face to popular media. With a doctor for a mother, young “Doc” inspires to be just like her and hones her skills on her toys! While the premise of the show is simple, its impact is anything but!

There are few African-American lead characters on popular television, let alone for children’s shows. “Doc” not only represents black youth, but young women as well! She shows girls that they can have a successful future in a STEM field–that they are more than capable! At Polished Pebbles, we are whole-heartedly approve of this representation in our media. Polished Pebbles strives to provide similar mentors and role models for our girls in the program. It is important that they can see themselves in positions they are working towards! We want more “Doc”‘s on our televisions! 

Click here for the Upworthy article on #thankyoudocmcstuffins…

Click here to view the twitter feed for the trending hashtag…

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Investing in the Future of Black Girls

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As many of you know, Kelly Fair was an ambassador for the Chicago Community Trust at the On the Table Discussion Tuesday evening. We had our discussion with a diverse group of people from community service members (social workers, school counselors, etc), teachers, businessmen, and even officers of the court. She lead her topic, Investing in the Future of Black Girls, with inspiring community leaders to teach them that everyday citizens are agents of change. Kelly Fair has often focused “on the other side of the crisis”. Black girls are living and developing in the same communities as black boys, yet they do not receive as much attention. Their fight is an invisible one. Polished Pebbles, Kelly Fair, and On the Table 2015 brought a voice to that struggle.

This year, Kimberlé Crenshaw released a report, Black Girls Matter: Pushed Out, Overpoliced and Underprotected. According to Crenshaw:

Ideally, the conversation Black Girls Matter: Pushed Out, Overpoliced, and Underprotected engenders within communities and among philanthropists, policy makers, stakeholders, and advocates will lead to the inclusion of girls in efforts to address school discipline, push-out, and the pathways to incarceration, poverty, and low-wage work. We are especially hopeful that ongoing efforts to resolve the crisis facing boys of color will open up opportunities to examine the challenges facing their female counterparts.

Crenshaw and Kelly Fair agree on multiple points. Like Crenshaw, Fair believes more research, media, and communities need to focus on young, African-American women. From sex trafficking to school discipline, our girls are in danger in their very communities. As local community leaders, you are able to make changes, to be a voice for this invisible fight! We want to empower you to stand up for your community, for your young, black girls. For all of those who already have, thank you for your courage, for all of those who have yet to do so, thank you for reading our message. We want to continue our discussions! Comment, share, and spark conversation with those around you. Because together she will shine!

From Polished Pebbles and Kelly Fair, thank you to all who attended Polished Pebbles facilitated On the Table discussion. We appreciate your voice, heart, and presence. Thank you to Chicago Community Trust for allowing us to share this conversation with our community.

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Kelly Fair: Ambassador to Chicago Community Trust

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If you don’t already know, Kelly Fair will be serving as an ambassador for the Chicago Community Trust “On the Table” discussions!

I’m Kelly Fair and I’m the founder of Polished Pebbles Girls Mentoring Program. Founded in 2009, Polished Pebbles Girls Mentoring Program has been intimately involved in developing and implementing successful youth development programs. I’m motivated to continue my work in mentoring, because I’m a successful byproduct of strong Chicago-based youth mentoring and job readiness initiatives. So, I know personally that mentoring works, which is why am excited every time a new company jumps on board to providing career-related mentoring to our girls.

Watch this video to learn more about Kelly Fair and Polished Pebbles’ role at “On the Table”:

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xddz31GkmKk&w=560&h=315]

For more information, click here…