As May comes to a close, many college and university students are walking on stages and accepting their diplomas. We want to say congratulations to all you new graduates! Earning your degree is no easy feat. That’s why Polished Pebbles had expanded to collegiate mentoring. Kelly Fair is a frequent contributor to HBCU Nation Radio Show where she provides “Mentoring Minutes” to university students. She also writes for Stomping the Yard on JETMag, whose articles focus on the college experience from roommates to professors. We need to pay attention to college students, especially young African-American women and first-generation college students! First-generation students do not always arrive at college or university with the same knowledge and preparation as other students. While this does not always limit them, it shows a need for mentoring. Mentors can provide this essential bridge in knowledge, experience, and support for first-generation students at college. We want to support them from elementary through to their college degrees!
If you don’t already know, Kelly Fair will be serving as an ambassador for the Chicago Community Trust “On the Table” discussions!
I’m Kelly Fair and I’m the founder of Polished Pebbles Girls Mentoring Program. Founded in 2009, Polished Pebbles Girls Mentoring Program has been intimately involved in developing and implementing successful youth development programs. I’m motivated to continue my work in mentoring, because I’m a successful byproduct of strong Chicago-based youth mentoring and job readiness initiatives. So, I know personally that mentoring works, which is why am excited every time a new company jumps on board to providing career-related mentoring to our girls.
Watch this video to learn more about Kelly Fair and Polished Pebbles’ role at “On the Table”:
Cameka Smith is the founder of BOSS Network, “Bringing Out Successful Sisters”. With a Master’s in Education, Cameka has dedicated herself to supporting the entrepreneurial spirit in women. As BOSS Network so succinctly and powerfully describes their founder, “Speaker, trainer, and award-winning entrepreneur…BOSS Network has evolved into a go-to resource for companies seeking female influencers as their target market. A one-stop-shop for career and entrepreneurial minded women”.
What Is She Proud Of?
Cameka Smith finds pride in her educational achievement. Coming from “an environment where most of my peers were looked at as a statistic”, her MA in Education helps her to work for change in her community! During her teaching career, she found enjoyment in working with at-risk youth. When her students follow their dreams she is able to see the impact she has had–their successes become her successes. This has been her constant reward. Her transition into BOSS Network only added to her positive influence in her community. Cameka is proud to be seen as an expert or industry influencer in her field.
Who Have Been Her Mentors, Her Motivators?
Cameka Smith sees the “every day women in her life”, her mother and aunts, as her greatest motivators. She came from a big, connected, and loving family that always maintained faith and commitment to one another and community. Seeing their commitment and love inspired her to maintain the same values. They have encouraged her to have a dedication to service and helping others. Cameka acknowledges her teachers, professors, and counselors who encouraged her to attain her Masters. Her education has truly helped her get to where she is today. The very women she works with through the BOSS Network are her mentors. They inspire her to keep working harder, to be creative.
Does She Think She’s A Mentor? …Because We Sure Do!
Cameka Smith first saw herself as a mentor when she began her career in education. She saw the need to provide positive role models for her students and other youth, so she acted! She began to create mentor programs for students. She wanted to showcase young professionals; let them “see what they can become” from “all walks of life”. She encourages youth, especially young girls, to join mentoring programs and to push their future visions. Cameka sees her entire career as building up youth into confident, successful young adults. We are thankful for Cameka and her work!
Now, What Does She Hope To See From Her Community?
Cameka reminds us all that “if you have lived on this earth, then you have something that you’ve been through…that you can share with another person”. So, do just that! She would like to see more community involvement in mentoring programs for youth (at Polished Pebbles, we agree!). Cameka sees women of color as essential contirbuters to their communities because they are natural role models and leaders. Cameka wants me to remind readers that for her, it was the “everyday women” who had the greatest impact on her. Which means there is nothing standing in your way!
People need hope, and sometimes we forget that hope exists within all of us. Mentors can be the spark that ignites the fire. Thank you Cameka for sharing this message with us!
From KellyFairtheMentor and Polished Pebbles, we want to say MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY HOLIDAYS! May the holidays be a blessing to you and yours. Thank you for all that you do to support our girls!
If you would like to give a little gift this holiday season, consider donating to Polished Pebbles. It can be a one time, monthly, or annual donation. The upcoming 2015 is sure to be filled with many more activities and programs to enrich the lives of our girls. We would love your support! Donate here…
For those who need a little refresher on what Polished Pebbles does for our community:
Polished Pebbles (est. 2009) is a Chicago-based, nonprofit organization that mentors girls ages 7-17 on the effective life skill of communication. We help girls to become effective communicators at home, school, and the future workplace! We have worked with over 400+ volunteer mentors who have helped 1000 girls via 30 program sites to solve their problems rationally as opposed to retaliating and develop the confidence to: speak up in class, join groups and seek leadership positions, communicate effectively and respectfully with adults, have peaceful interactions with their peers, and prepare for future careers.
We have had 30 Chicagoland sites where we host our programs, including partnerships with Chicago Public Schools, Chicago Housing Authority, and University of Chicago Charter Schools.
We have 18 companies we partner with for 50+ job shadowing opportunities, including Bloomingdales, Microsoft Store, Chicago Sky, and Blue Cross-Blue Shield of Illinois.
For Polished Pebbles to keep supporting our girls, we need your help! Consider a one-time, monthly, or annual donation. Click here to support Polished Pebbles!
This week we are throwing it back to 2013! A little reminiscing at the end of the year is the perfect way to remind us why we do what we do. Polished Pebbles has seen great growth in the last 5 years. We have now mentored over 1,000 girls and serve 30 sites in Chicago! To think we used to be small. During this exciting time it can be easy to get swept up in the numbers and forget about our individual impact. To each girl that goes through Polished Pebbles program, the experience is different. Although we have our mission of installing positive values, effective communication strategies, and confidence in our girls, they all take a different path. Each girl comes through our program with their own unique background and personality; making sure our work is never dull!
Now, let’s hear from a Polished Pebbles alum, Pertesha, as she shares her own Polished Pebbles story:
Polished Pebbles has been working hard to ensure that all the girls that go through our program have such a positive experience. Here’s an infographic to let you know how we’ve been doing:
Like what you’ve heard and read? Consider donating to Polished Pebbles to keep our program running strong, and our mission! With your help, small or large, Polished Pebbles will have a bright future! And together she will shine!
Click here to make your contribution! Remember, we aren’t just hoping for monetary support. If you have time, consider being a volunteer or mentor. Or, share your voice on our social media sites (including this one)!
How have you seen Polished Pebbles grow this year? What changes would you like to see in the next?
A younger female colleague of mine tagged me in a Facebook post with this video in it. The video is about catcalling in New York City. It was disseminated last week by a group called Hollaback!. Hollaback! is a photoblog and grassroots initiative to raise awareness about and combat street harassment by posting photographs and narrative accounts of individuals’ encounters with offenders. The video shows an actress walking the streets of New York and experiencing sustained catcalls and harassment, including being followed by one man for over five minutes. The video racked up 32 million views, but came under quick scrutiny for featuring mostly men of color. This too was my initial observation and objection to the video as well. My thought was how can you raise awareness about a form of discrimination with a tool that discriminates? Consequently, Hollaback! apologized last week for the suspicious lack of white men shown in the video ( read an article here). Nonetheless, as most social media centered advocacy, the message about combat catcalling definitely started a buzz and lots of dialogue.
I was that girl!
I immediately shared the video with two of the programming coordinators on my staff, and told them that I thought a dialogue about this video was definitely something that I wanted included in our upcoming curriculum with my mentoring program Polished Pebbles Girls Mentoring Program. The video really resonated with me, because in previous years when I worked directly with girls in our after school programs, I held conversations with girls about this very topic. We discussed strategizing safe passage to and from school, and managing the different types of attention that they may get in public from men, desirable or undesirable. I think it’s important conversation to have also tailored with a recognition of appropriate cultural context. I am big on having conversations that address understanding the root, and the reaction, of certain behaviors based on the communities that we serve, that I also happen to be a product of.
The topic of teaching girls to manage this is near and dear to my heart, because it was something I grapled with in my earlier adolescence. I was like many high school students in Chicago, and used public transportation to get to school, but I masterminded different routes to avoid unwanted attention from men, of all ages, on the streets I needed to walk down to get home. Quite frankly, I was just wasn’t mature enough, or experienced as a young woman to really know how to manage the attention and propositions made by some of the men, and distinguish hidden, and obvious, intentions. So, instead of getting off the bus at my street, I tried to avoid as much potential foot traffic as possible, and rode the bus a couple of blocks longer to the final bus terminal. Walking home that way helped me avoid some of the older “dudes” that were constantly outside, and was a much quieter path. However, it was also potentially even more dangerous because it was less traveled by most. And, I was kind of isolating myself, and potentially setting myself up to be more accessible for actual crimes like kidnap, rape, etc. But, as I grew I adapted. I learned to ignore some of the comments, and play like I was hard of hearing, or listening to headphones. I also started using the strategy of looking so intently focused, and a little mean, with my face that it actually turned a lot of them off! LOL! And, then I learned how to be polite, thank them for the complement, and tell them that I already had a boyfriend, and didn’t need any more friends.
My mature shift in perspective.
As I have grown and matured, I’m much more experienced in life and confident in my identity as a woman in my community, and how that may be viewed by others. Part of what helped me get here was being taught long time ago by a mentor of mine on how to view some of those approaches from men, and how to respond to them as well. Linda told me that for many of those men that they may never have encountered a woman like me, and some of their comments were the only methods they knew to attempt to complement me. And, this shift in perspective totally changed the way I approached and reacted to some of those encounters. It took me time and experience to master it, but I now approach and manage those interactions with a spirit of universal love, and you’d be amazed at the kind o reactions that I get. In turn I receive words and acts of kindness, respect, generosity, and genuine well-wishes for my day, my well-being, and my current work with girls. I now see part of my responsibility as a woman, of my stature, is demonstrate love and respect to others no matter what neighborhood, city, or country that I’m traveling through. And, as a strong believer in the “golden rule”, and the “law of attraction, expression of love and respect dominates the majority of my dealings with others.
Despite my shift in perspective, I want to be clear that I’m not condoning disrespect or disregard for others in any form. But, I wanted to present a different viewpoint. Although videos like this one from Hollaback! are effective in getting attention, I want to make sure that as a responsible mentoring community that we always follow-up on “hashtag activisim” with conversations centered on devising practical ways to help address the needs of help girls combat cat-calling and ensure their safety. Below are some tips that I recommend.
What you can do to help your girls!
Create opportunities for girls to have open dialogue on the topic. So, often we don’t have enough forums for adolescent girls to have open discussions on a variety of topics, but especially one’s of this nature. So, if you have a mentoring or youth program, or a teacher, consider making this a news topic to review. Show the students the video and get their reaction. And, even if you are not directly involved in working with youth as a profession, talk about it with your daughters and the girls in your family or daily network. As we develop girls to become advocates we must help them develop their voice by providing opportunities to see expressing their opinion is okay
Create strategies for safe passage to and from school, etc. Talk with your daughters/girls about how they get to and from school, jobs, or other activities. Ask them what buses are they taking. What routes do they take to get home? What streets or alleys are they walking down? Work with them to identify if there is a way for them to organize walking home in groups with responsible friends to increase safety and collective vigilance.
Ask them how their day was. Your girl/daughter may have had an encounter or experience that she needs to discuss or receive some guidance on. But, if we don’t work to create consistent lines of communication with our girls that they know they can trust, they may not share and keep it to themselves.
Create opportunities for authentic dialogue for girls with positive male role models: Far too many of the girls that we serve don’t have consistent relationships with positive role models. So, we work to include male volunteers/mentors within our network as well as women, because having opportunities to connect with positive men who can provide insight and advice on dealing with the men that they encounter is priceless. We hold open forums between our girls and our male volunteers regularly to provide opportunities for girls to hear from men and pose questions and ask for advice.
Let them shadow you for a day at work or running mundane errands: So many of us learn most effectively when we are given visual examples. Letting your girl/daughter/mentee shadow you gives you the opportunity, if youre a woman, to show girls how you carry yourself in professional settings and in about your community as well. She ‘ll see how you talk to people, present yourself, react to others worlds and actions. And, in the car you can share with her you problem solved those situations, analyzed them, and identified any definite threats of danger. Men, it’s important that girls get a chance to spend a day with you as well, because they get to see how you treat other women you encounter. And, they learn from watching you what positive and real caring male interaction looks and feels like.
So, what are some tips or strategies that you use with girls in ensuring safe passage, and dealing with unwanted attention?
Thank you to everyone who has supported Polished Pebbles on its 5 year journey! With many challenges & successes along the way, we are proud to have mentored over 750 girls… and we aren’t done yet!
Polished Pebbles is looking forward to many more years of mentoring and helping girls S.H.I.N.E. We hope to grow even more over the next 5 years with your continued support!
Please share in our memories collected throughout the years by watching this short video:
On Monday, May 12 The Chicago Community Trust hosted a series of dinners throughout the Chicago region where almost 10,000 people met new people and shared ideas for making the Chicago region a better place for everyone to live, work and raise kids.
Next Monday, May 19, I’ll be hosting a workshop at the Tutor/Mentor Leadership and Networking Conference (http://www.tutormentorconference.org). This event is part of an on-going strategy of the Tutor/Mentor Connection (T/MC), launched by Dan Bassill in 1993. Bassill started leading a volunteer-based tutor/mentor program in 1975. He started reaching out to peers to gather them for networking events, similar to the OnTheTable2014 events, in 1976.
Dan created the T/MC in 1993 to try to bring people together to network, learn, build trust, share ideas, and to create advertising-type visibility that would draw support to all city and Chicago suburbs. He created the Tutor/Mentor Institute, LLC in 2011 help the T/MC grow in Chicago and to support the growth of similar intermediaries in other cities.
Over the past few years the idea of “collective effort” or people from many sectors working together to solve a community problem, has gained much visibility in non profit and public circles, fueled by articles on the Stanford Social Innovation Review web site. http://www.ssireview.org/articles/entry/collective_impact. This article constantly refers the need bringing people together to solve community problems, and that’s what Dan Bassill has been doing for over 20 years. In addition to organizing conferences, Dan maintains a web library with links to articles like this and his goal is that people from many sectors dig deeper into this information on an on-going basis so that ideas from many places can be used to support the growth of mentor-rich programs in Chicago area neighborhoods.
As a result of his professional mentoring, Dan has always encouraged me to attend and present in his Tutor/Mentor Leadership & Networking Conference to grow my career and skill sets. In the upcoming conference on May 19th, I will share my experience in developing and implementing my own blog, www.kellyfairthementor.com. I’ll discuss how my blog has helped me to expand my reach and resources for growing my mentoring program, Polished Pebbles (www.polishedpebbles.com), and how I’ve been able to use it as a tool to support the entire mentoring community!
If you’re concerned with the well-being of youth, the future of the workforce, and the social capital in the Chicago region, I encourage you to register and attend the Tutor/Mentor Conference next Monday. Dan and I and others look forward to meeting you. Register here: http://www.tutormentorconference.org/
Cameka Smith is the founder of BOSS Network, “Bringing Out Successful Sisters”. With a Master’s in Education, Cameka has dedicated herself to supporting the entrepreneurial spirit in women. As BOSS Network so succinctly and powerfully describes their founder, “Speaker, trainer, and award-winning entrepreneur…BOSS Network has evolved into a go-to resource for companies seeking female influencers as their target market. A one-stop-shop for career and entrepreneurial minded women”.
