Tag: empowerment

Free Fun! Join Us For Second Saturdays!

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Polished Pebbles hosts a free Second Saturday event for girls every month. Our programming focuses on building positive relationships, increasing self-esteem, and most of all…having fun! Last month we celebrated October with some “Old School Games”. Check out our vimeo below!

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All this month we have been discussing healthy body image for our girls. This Saturday, November 14 we are hosting our Second Saturday event: “Too Tall, Too Skinny, Too…”. We will have guest speakers sharing their own journeys towards self-acceptance, self-love, and an overall healthy body image! Come listen to the owner of 360 Mind Body Soul Fitness studio, Ashanti Johnson! 

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K. Fair Went Back to School

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Kelly Fair had the amazing opportunity to speak to future leaders at Duke University Women’s Center. She spent two days engaging with students, faculty, and staff on the mission and story of Polished Pebbles Girls Mentoring Program–to empower young women.

Kelly Fair’s visit to the Duke University Women’s Center reflects two critically important theoretical frameworks which underpin our mission: women serving as engaged leaders and social justice. Kelly epitomizes both and we are excited for our students to engage with her.

– Dr. Stephanie Helms-Pickett, Director, Duke University Women’s Center

As guest lecturer to the senior women’s seminar, Kelly was able to inspire young, college women on the importance of social justice work, and its intersection with business. Kelly spoke on how to jumpstart a non-profit organization. This includes how to brand not only your organization and mission, but yourself as a professional. Her story as a successful entrepreneur became a learning tool for Duke University. Further, Kelly’s work with Polished Pebbles Girls Mentoring Program speaks to the Duke Women’s Center focus on gender equity. Polished Pebbles empowers young girls by teaching them the vital life skill of effective communication. Kelly and Polished Pebbles encourage these girls to strive for leadership positions in their schools, communities, and futures. Goals which she now shares with Duke University Women’s Center.

Not to mention, she left with new friends…

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5 Reasons Why You Support Polished Pebbles

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For the month of September, we encouraged you to donate to Polished Pebbles Girls Mentoring Program. And we want to say, “THANK YOU!” It is because of supporters like you that we are able to provide our girls with enriching learning activities. While people have donated to Polished Pebbles for various reasons, we have here our top five reasons to support girls in your community:

12063808_1149618335051766_9053906914125295027_nSelf Image. Young girls are constantly bombarded with not-so-positive images of black women. This causes stereotypes and caricatures to become false realities they might try and emulate. The angry black woman, oversexed backup dancer, gold-digger, and baby mama are not the only images that should be present in the general media. But it can seem that they are. Mentoring not only shatters these false images by providing positive alternatives, but it teaches girls another way to think of themselves. Mentoring programs and relationships can help to spread the “body positive” and “natural hair” movements. While curly is not better than straight and curvy is not better than thin, it gives girls the ability to choose! They are exposed to all of the possibilities, all of the many ways to love themselves.

Educational Achievement. A successful mentoring program and mentoring relationship will bring out the best in your girls. It will encourage and support them as they move through the world. In a previous blog post on KellyFairtheMentor.com, Kelly Fair shared an article by Dr. Jawanza Kunjufu, “Have Black Girls Been Overlooked?” from the “Black Star Journal”. She brings to our attention the lack of attention paid to black girls in education. We focus on black boys, their dropout rates and the school to prison pipeline. We tend to forget that black girls are in the same vicious cycle. According to the article, 12% of black girls are suspended from school and 40% are dropping out! Mentoring programs bring the necessary attention to black girls so that they don’t get left behind in school. We want all our girls to recognize their intelligence and strive for academic success. Let’s ensure that black girls are no longer overlooked!

Female Social Support. Growing up I remember my mother telling me that girls are mean to each other. Instead of banding together in camaraderie, girls are competing with one another for beauty, love, and acknowledgement. While not always the case, this conflict is noticeable during school years. This war between women hinders our ability to develop positive female relationships; who could be our possible sisters in arms as we combat these obstacles. Girls focused mentoring programs break down these competitive natures to help develop lasting, supporting relationships. This will become the cornerstone to future relationships your girls will make in life. They will learn to see one another as a teammate, a co-worker, a mentor, and a friend. 11540921_1098960880117512_8265015966029465418_n

Life Skills. Mentoring programs focus on different points of intervention. Some programs target relationship building and others target studying habits. Polished Pebbles, as you may know, focuses on developing communication skills to positive, respectful interactions with peers and adults. While you may not think your daughter is lacking in any of these skills, it never hurts to get a little extra practice. Plus, these are all real and useable skills! Mentoring programs prepare young girls for adult life by teaching them how to effectively be a grown-up. Do you think you came out of the womb ready to manage finances or mediate conflict? No, someone taught you! 

This Pebble. When asked about how she has benefited from the Polished Pebbles program, this young pebble perfectly replied: “Being dedicated. When I give my word, I want to be there. Being there for your sister. I can call all these young ladies my sisters because of the bond we have right now.” We want all young black girls out there to feel this way about their peers, their sisters! She sums out all of the reasons why mentoring is necessary for young black girls!

We hope that these five reasons inspire you to get your girls involved in a mentoring program! As human beings with knowledge and caring hearts, we can join together to ensure a positive future for black girls. As Polished Pebbles says, Together She Will Shine!

To make a one-time donation or join our monthly giving program, click here…

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#WhatSheNeeds: The College Transition

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#WhatSheNeeds will provide insights into the experiences of black women in college. From the freshman transition to the affects of social media, these women have a lot to say! Black women are out enrolling every other group in college, but not experiencing the same high levels of success 4 years later in their careers. Through #WhatSheNeeds, we hope to learn a little more about what she needs to succeed–what did their institutions have and what were they lacking? unnamed#WhatSheNeeds explores the transition from high school to college. As Jasmine Hosley explains, you go from being “a high schooler dependent on your mama, to a college student still kind of dependent on your mama”. While high school is meant to prepare students for the academic rigors of college, a lot of freshman still struggle their first semester. Here’s what our young women had to say about their freshman transition.

Some of the women found academics to be one of their biggest challenges:

“While I was ready, I was also not ready. Because I felt like while they were getting us ready for college, there were a lot of ways for us to get around in high school. Like, if you didn’t want to do your homework…you could have written anything down and not actually do your homework.” –Sadariah Harrel

“Well in college…you’re on your own. There’s a lot more freedom. There’s no teacher tracking you down saying, ‘Do your homework!’ There’s a lot more growing up.” –Sydney Tyler

Others had to adjust socially:

“My biggest struggle would have to be getting used to not being home and experiencing new people. You know, I’m not around people from Chicago. People who think like me, dress like me.” –Courtney Neal

What was essential for a smooth transition? Support from the college:

“The student government was helpful by working with the underclassmen with social problems, academic problems…feeling homesick. They were good at working with the students because they had been through it before. If you had a problem they were there to guide you through it, so you could have a successful school year.” –Courtney Neal freshman-orientation

“That summer before my fall semester, summer of 2006, I participated in a summer bridge program at Philander Smith. Their program was geared to those interested in the science and math departments. The programs encouraged African American students to major in science or mathematics. They provided us with a college mentor who were juniors or sophomores…I will say that was very helpful” –Terri Floyd

“I wish that it would have been a little bit easier. The whole welcome week and the activities were helpful. Dillard really makes you feel like you are at home…but at the same time it’s kind of rough. Because once [your parents are] gone it’s reality time, they’re gone and it’s time to go to school.” –Jasmine Hosley

One of the women, Jasmine Hosley, spoke of the importance of supporting others during their freshman transition:

“I do get involved when we do shadow day and everything. I like to participate and become the student ambassador and show them around and everything because I know how important it is.”

Don’t forget to give back and pass on your knowledge! We all have the potential to be mentors and supporters of other college women. Whether your actions are big or small, they are important.

#WhatSheNeeds: Parental Support

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#WhatSheNeeds will provide insights into the experiences of black women in college. From the freshman transition to the affects of social media, these women have a lot to say! Black women are out enrolling every other group in college, but not experiencing the same high levels of success 4 years later in their careers. Through #WhatSheNeeds, we hope to learn a little more about what she needs to succeed–what did their institutions have and what were they lacking?

9f7c22d95fc8216af3dc1c340fa76760#WhatSheNeeds continues with our first topic…Parental Support! For all of our interviewees, parents have been incredible supports during the college experience. But sometimes, things got a little sticky. Parents always wants what is best for their children, but sometimes this causes tension for college students. As summer is quickly passing, all you parents are getting ready to send your daughters off to college–some for the first time! We want you to know how to best support your daughters in their academic career! Here is some advice from our lovely college women…

Anessa Trask said in her interview, “Your parent’s dream career for you, may not be YOUR dream career for you.”

This is exactly what Sadariah experienced…

Sadariah Harrel is majoring in Business Management, but her dream lies in the arts:

“I’m not in school for what I want to be in school for. Me, I’m more of the creative type; I’m more of the art time. I love to write…Anything that deals with my imagination, I love to do it. And I feel like it’s such a big thing in society being an African American female, being a female period. Its like you have to be in a field where it’s like business or computer science just so you can be competitive because you are a female. And my mother she’s a computer analyst so she’s like,  “You have to do that, you have to do this.” And I’m like “No, I love English and I love reading and I want to write”. And she’s like “No. If I’m paying then you’re going for what i want you to go for”…I wasn’t doing what I wanted to do. It wasn’t fun for me. It felt like I was being forced to do something.”

On the other hand, is Sydney Tyler:

“My family supports my major 100%. A lot of my family is health professionals, so it was pretty normal when I told them I was going into the health field. They’re loving it”

This isn’t to say one family is better or more supportive than another, but parenting style does affect the college experience. It can either drive a woman to success or make her feel a little lackluster about her future.

But don’t pity Sadariah. While pursuing her business major, she knows she can express her creativity in other ways. As she told me, “I can always publish books on the side”.

Mostly, these women just want to make their families proud:proud-to-be-the-first-blog-header

“I am first generation in my family. I am the only child of a single parent. It was my first college experience with applying to colleges and getting into college. And I did it. All with the support of my mom, and it was a wonderful experience.” –Sydney Tyler

“I’m the first to go so far away. I’m far away from my family. I’m out there on my own. I’m the first person to go to an HBCU, the first person to pledge a sorority, the first person to become a nursing major. Sometimes I feel a lot of pressure because I am doing so many firsts! And I don’t want to let anyone down, or disappoint anybody. So, I’m kind of harder on myself.” –Jasmine Hosley

“Throughout my entire life I kind of felt the most pressure because I’m the only child. I’ve always been, like the ‘brain’. My cousins would always call me that and say I was a nerd. And so, I always felt like I had to live up to that, you know, title of what was given to me. Because I knew, like, no one else was fitting that at the time” –Brittany Colvin

Terri Floyd summed up the role of the parent perfectly:

“I had my family, my parents are encouragers.”

To all you parents out there with daughters headed off to college, “Be encouragers!” Your daughters want and need your support for a successful college transition and experience. Remember, you both have the same priority; to succeed! 

Thriving or Just Surviving?

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Recently, Kelly Fair and Polished Pebbles Girls Mentoring Program have been pushing college mentoring. This isn’t only because we are developing our College Edition mentoring program, it is important! The media is filled with mixed messages about African-American women, especially college students.

What is the college experience for black women? According to HuffPost: College, black students have, are, and will continue to experience discrimination and microaggressions on campus.

A student at Duke University hung a noose from a tree in Durham, North Carolina, campus on April 1. This came about a week after the university began investigating reports that a group of white men had harassed a black female. The men were reportedly singing the same racist chant…

According to one student, “Institutionalized racism has created spaces for Duke–and for colleges nationally…”.

Despite the negative and harmful experiences, black women are leading all groups in college enrollment! That is independent-black-womensomething to celebrate! But, how can we expect to keep African American women in college if their experiences on campus are not supportive or downright violent?

According to the data, 9.7 percent of Black women are enrolled in college. Asian women are second, with 8.7 percent working toward degrees, followed by Asian men at 8.4 percent, White women at 7.1 percent, Black men at 7.0 percent, Hispanic women at 6.6 percent, White men at 6.1 percent, and Hispanic men at 5.9 percent.

Despite the high enrollment rates, our women are not seeing success in the work force. ThinkProgress writes about a study conducted by Black Women’s Roundtable, the women’s initiative of the National Coalition on Black Civic Participation. In their research, they found that although African American women are excelling in education and careers, they are not being equally compensated! While many people know the 77 cents to a dollar, few know that this is for white women when compared to white men. Black women make 64 cents to a dollar when compared to white men!

Race and gender bias intersect to limit access to traditional capital for Black women.

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So, what is the African American women’s experience in college? Are they thriving or simply surviving? Is their community supportive in their future success? Next week we will be sharing insights from our interviews with current college students! Check back then!

Sharing Knowledge: HBCU Nation

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As you know from our previous post, Collegiate Mentoring, Polished Pebbles is planning on expanding with College Edition. African-American women in college are just as in need of mentoring and support as younger girls. With our continued support, increasing rates of black women will be attending college and earning degrees. In fact, according to ClutchMag, black women make up the most college enrollments–now that is a success! We want this to continue. Kelly Fair has shared her hopes of providing mentoring to college students. Simply have college interns is not enough, she wants more direct, group support on campuses.

Recently on HBCU Nation, Kelly Fair shared her views on collegiate mentoring–why we need it and how we can benefit from it. Click here to give it a listen!

Tell us what you think of collegiate mentoring for African-American women? What type of support would you have wanted during your college experience?

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Investing in the Future of Black Girls

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As many of you know, Kelly Fair was an ambassador for the Chicago Community Trust at the On the Table Discussion Tuesday evening. We had our discussion with a diverse group of people from community service members (social workers, school counselors, etc), teachers, businessmen, and even officers of the court. She lead her topic, Investing in the Future of Black Girls, with inspiring community leaders to teach them that everyday citizens are agents of change. Kelly Fair has often focused “on the other side of the crisis”. Black girls are living and developing in the same communities as black boys, yet they do not receive as much attention. Their fight is an invisible one. Polished Pebbles, Kelly Fair, and On the Table 2015 brought a voice to that struggle.

This year, Kimberlé Crenshaw released a report, Black Girls Matter: Pushed Out, Overpoliced and Underprotected. According to Crenshaw:

Ideally, the conversation Black Girls Matter: Pushed Out, Overpoliced, and Underprotected engenders within communities and among philanthropists, policy makers, stakeholders, and advocates will lead to the inclusion of girls in efforts to address school discipline, push-out, and the pathways to incarceration, poverty, and low-wage work. We are especially hopeful that ongoing efforts to resolve the crisis facing boys of color will open up opportunities to examine the challenges facing their female counterparts.

Crenshaw and Kelly Fair agree on multiple points. Like Crenshaw, Fair believes more research, media, and communities need to focus on young, African-American women. From sex trafficking to school discipline, our girls are in danger in their very communities. As local community leaders, you are able to make changes, to be a voice for this invisible fight! We want to empower you to stand up for your community, for your young, black girls. For all of those who already have, thank you for your courage, for all of those who have yet to do so, thank you for reading our message. We want to continue our discussions! Comment, share, and spark conversation with those around you. Because together she will shine!

From Polished Pebbles and Kelly Fair, thank you to all who attended Polished Pebbles facilitated On the Table discussion. We appreciate your voice, heart, and presence. Thank you to Chicago Community Trust for allowing us to share this conversation with our community.

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You Should Know: L’Oreal Thompson Payton

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unnamedWe want you to know L’Oreal Thompson Payton!

A Charm City girl in the Windy City, L’Oreal Thompson Payton is a professional storyteller with a penchant for people and a passion for purple. When she’s not busy writing, L’Oreal enjoys reading, dancing and devouring delicious cupcakes. Follow L’Oreal on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram and visit her blog at LTintheCity.com.

How did you first get involved with Polished Pebbles?

I started volunteering with Polished Pebbles in January 2014. I had recently moved to Chicago and I desperately wanted to “give back” to the community. Helping young girls, especially young Black girls, has always been a passion of mine and I wanted to get involved with an organization that did just that. I came across Polished Pebbles in a Google search and, coincidentally, was later introduced to the founder, Kelly Fair, in my previous position as the Digital Content Editor for JET magazine. I recall attending the Second Saturday program that January (it was a Zumba class) and immediately falling in love with the program and the girls.

What is your role as a mentor for youth, primarily young, black girls, in your community?

As a mentor, my primary goal is to serve as a positive role model for young Black girls in the community. I’m always available to help and offer advice and really just be their biggest cheerleader. We all need someone in our corner cheering us on and shouting, “You can do it!” I believe in our girls and I want to be an example to them that anything is possible. I want them to see what I’ve accomplished and know that they can do it, too.

Who are the stand-out mentors in your life?

Wow, I have so many! First and foremost, my mom has constantly demonstrated what it means to be an upstanding daughter, wife, mother, business woman and woman of God. She is my rock.

Throughout my career, I’ve been fortunate to have several female editors who’ve taken me under their wings. Because of those editors, I’ve learned valuable life and career skills that I firmly believe have contributed to my overall success. I simply wouldn’t be here without the wonderful women (and loving men) in my life.

What ignited your passion for giving back to the community?

In middle school, I was constantly bullied for being smart (I skipped a grade), talking “White,” and for being ugly. There were nights when I prayed to God to make me White so I would be more beautiful. I literally hated the color of my skin and felt so unworthy. As an adult, I’ve realized I’m probably not the only girl who’s ever felt this way and it’s my personal mission to help young girls so hopefully they never have to feel that way.

How do you define philanthropy? How do you engage with it?

The Greek definition of philanthropy is “love of humanity.” For the most part, I think people typically equate philanthropy with rich people who donate a lot of money to a good cause. So I don’t consider myself a philanthropist in that sense of the word, but rather the original Greek version: I have a love of helping young girls.

There are plenty of ways to make a difference–whether it’s donating your time, money and/or talent; however, I do believe it’s important to “put your money where your mouth is,” which is why I contribute to Polished Pebbles on a regular basis. It’s an organization I truly believe in so I want to invest in our girls and help them succeed.

What is one barrier affecting young, black girls you have identified? Any solutions?

Nowadays, there are so many programs, such as My Brother’s Keeper, dedicated to helping young Black men, which is both awesome and necessary. But what about the girls? They live in the same neighborhoods as these young men, but it seems as though their needs and issues are often overlooked. I think programs like Polished Pebbles are part of the solution, but we can’t do it alone.

We need big companies to make an investment and show are girls they are valuable and worthy. For example, Google donated $190,000 to Black Girls Code last year…that’s a huge step in the right direction and other companies should follow in their footsteps. But the real work starts at home with positive role models in the community leading the way.

Do you have any final thoughts for us?

My hope is that every young Black girl will grow up knowing she is beautiful and worthy. I want each of them to feel empowered to accomplish their dreams and goals.

Positive Men: Tony Porter

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As we close up February’s Men’s Month, we would like to share with you a TedTalk by Tony Porter. In “A Call to Men”, Mr. Porter shares the constricting nature of masculinity.

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Growing up as a boy, we were taught that men had to be tough, had to be strong, had to be courageous, dominating — no pain, no emotions, with the exception of anger — and definitely no fear; that men are in charge, which means women are not; that men lead, and you should just follow and do what we say; that men are superior; women are inferior; that men are strong; women are weak; that women are of less value, property of men, and objects, particularly sexual objects. I’ve later come to know that to be the collective socialization of men, better known as the “man box.”

He believes that the socialization of men has strongly influenced the gender dynamics and issues we see today. Manhood has become problematic not only for women, but for men as well. He very carefully explains that although not all men are violent, not all men abuse women or see them as inferior, but “men, good men, the large majority of men, we operate on the foundation of this whole collective socialization. We kind of see ourselves separate, but we’re very much a part of it.”

Mr. Porter believes that to end the epidemic of violence against women, we have to change the nature of masculinity. How would this change our youth, our boys?

I remember asking a nine-year-old boy, I asked a nine-year-old boy, “What would life be like for you, if you didn’t have to adhere to this man box?” He said to me, “I would be free.”