Tag: education

White By Default Affects Our Girls

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When talking about body image and how it affects our young girls, it is important to address an important factor. Idealized beauty, in the United States and many other countries, is Eurocentric. Meaning, white facial features, fashion trends, body VF-2012-Cover-210x300shape, and skin tone are idealized. According to Beauty Redefined, “Images of white women dominate all media – especially roles or depictions featuring “beautiful” or desirable women, not funny sidekicks, the chunky best friend, the hired help or other stereotypes.”

It would be silly and ill-informed to assume that this does not affect our young, black girls. When they don’t see girls on TV with curly, coily hair or darker skin, they start to believe that their natural selves should be hidden. Kadia Blagrove writes fashion articles and for the longest time never noticed that all her articles centered on women that looked nothing like her. She had been socialized into believing that “white is default”. Kadia writes, “First of all, diversity within the media is largely unbalanced. Diversity really means 90% white people and a few token people of color here and there.”

Sometimes I feel as if I need permission to be black. –Kadia Blagrove

Before we start pointing to black women in media who have become popular role models, such as Beyonce, we must read this from Beauty Redefined:

Though beautiful women of color like Beyonce, Jennifer Lopez, Queen Latifah, Rihanna, Jennifer Hudson, Halle Berry and others have achieved renown in U.S. culture, media representations of these women have become increasingly “anglicized” or “whitewashed” over time, with lighter-colored, straighter hair, lighter makeup, colored contacts and often shrinking figures. –Beauty Redefined

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Check out the website for their photos on how these celebrities “looks” have been altered throughout the years by style teams and digital media.

We need to show our girls that beautiful women of color exist! That they are present and powerful. Girls should not be pressured to straighten their hair or lighten their skin to be beautiful. It should be a personal choice made by their own decision, not by society’s beauty standards.

How can you help?

  • Show your girls beautiful, strong women who look like them
  • Alter their media choices to include more shows, magazines, or movies that include women of color
  • Engage in conversations about beauty and race
  • Empower your girls to love themselves
  • Be a role model, be a mentor

And, attend our November Second Saturday event on body image with 360 Mind Body Soul Fitness Studio!

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#WhatSheNeeds: The College Transition

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#WhatSheNeeds will provide insights into the experiences of black women in college. From the freshman transition to the affects of social media, these women have a lot to say! Black women are out enrolling every other group in college, but not experiencing the same high levels of success 4 years later in their careers. Through #WhatSheNeeds, we hope to learn a little more about what she needs to succeed–what did their institutions have and what were they lacking? unnamed#WhatSheNeeds explores the transition from high school to college. As Jasmine Hosley explains, you go from being “a high schooler dependent on your mama, to a college student still kind of dependent on your mama”. While high school is meant to prepare students for the academic rigors of college, a lot of freshman still struggle their first semester. Here’s what our young women had to say about their freshman transition.

Some of the women found academics to be one of their biggest challenges:

“While I was ready, I was also not ready. Because I felt like while they were getting us ready for college, there were a lot of ways for us to get around in high school. Like, if you didn’t want to do your homework…you could have written anything down and not actually do your homework.” –Sadariah Harrel

“Well in college…you’re on your own. There’s a lot more freedom. There’s no teacher tracking you down saying, ‘Do your homework!’ There’s a lot more growing up.” –Sydney Tyler

Others had to adjust socially:

“My biggest struggle would have to be getting used to not being home and experiencing new people. You know, I’m not around people from Chicago. People who think like me, dress like me.” –Courtney Neal

What was essential for a smooth transition? Support from the college:

“The student government was helpful by working with the underclassmen with social problems, academic problems…feeling homesick. They were good at working with the students because they had been through it before. If you had a problem they were there to guide you through it, so you could have a successful school year.” –Courtney Neal freshman-orientation

“That summer before my fall semester, summer of 2006, I participated in a summer bridge program at Philander Smith. Their program was geared to those interested in the science and math departments. The programs encouraged African American students to major in science or mathematics. They provided us with a college mentor who were juniors or sophomores…I will say that was very helpful” –Terri Floyd

“I wish that it would have been a little bit easier. The whole welcome week and the activities were helpful. Dillard really makes you feel like you are at home…but at the same time it’s kind of rough. Because once [your parents are] gone it’s reality time, they’re gone and it’s time to go to school.” –Jasmine Hosley

One of the women, Jasmine Hosley, spoke of the importance of supporting others during their freshman transition:

“I do get involved when we do shadow day and everything. I like to participate and become the student ambassador and show them around and everything because I know how important it is.”

Don’t forget to give back and pass on your knowledge! We all have the potential to be mentors and supporters of other college women. Whether your actions are big or small, they are important.

#WhatSheNeeds: Parental Support

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#WhatSheNeeds will provide insights into the experiences of black women in college. From the freshman transition to the affects of social media, these women have a lot to say! Black women are out enrolling every other group in college, but not experiencing the same high levels of success 4 years later in their careers. Through #WhatSheNeeds, we hope to learn a little more about what she needs to succeed–what did their institutions have and what were they lacking?

9f7c22d95fc8216af3dc1c340fa76760#WhatSheNeeds continues with our first topic…Parental Support! For all of our interviewees, parents have been incredible supports during the college experience. But sometimes, things got a little sticky. Parents always wants what is best for their children, but sometimes this causes tension for college students. As summer is quickly passing, all you parents are getting ready to send your daughters off to college–some for the first time! We want you to know how to best support your daughters in their academic career! Here is some advice from our lovely college women…

Anessa Trask said in her interview, “Your parent’s dream career for you, may not be YOUR dream career for you.”

This is exactly what Sadariah experienced…

Sadariah Harrel is majoring in Business Management, but her dream lies in the arts:

“I’m not in school for what I want to be in school for. Me, I’m more of the creative type; I’m more of the art time. I love to write…Anything that deals with my imagination, I love to do it. And I feel like it’s such a big thing in society being an African American female, being a female period. Its like you have to be in a field where it’s like business or computer science just so you can be competitive because you are a female. And my mother she’s a computer analyst so she’s like,  “You have to do that, you have to do this.” And I’m like “No, I love English and I love reading and I want to write”. And she’s like “No. If I’m paying then you’re going for what i want you to go for”…I wasn’t doing what I wanted to do. It wasn’t fun for me. It felt like I was being forced to do something.”

On the other hand, is Sydney Tyler:

“My family supports my major 100%. A lot of my family is health professionals, so it was pretty normal when I told them I was going into the health field. They’re loving it”

This isn’t to say one family is better or more supportive than another, but parenting style does affect the college experience. It can either drive a woman to success or make her feel a little lackluster about her future.

But don’t pity Sadariah. While pursuing her business major, she knows she can express her creativity in other ways. As she told me, “I can always publish books on the side”.

Mostly, these women just want to make their families proud:proud-to-be-the-first-blog-header

“I am first generation in my family. I am the only child of a single parent. It was my first college experience with applying to colleges and getting into college. And I did it. All with the support of my mom, and it was a wonderful experience.” –Sydney Tyler

“I’m the first to go so far away. I’m far away from my family. I’m out there on my own. I’m the first person to go to an HBCU, the first person to pledge a sorority, the first person to become a nursing major. Sometimes I feel a lot of pressure because I am doing so many firsts! And I don’t want to let anyone down, or disappoint anybody. So, I’m kind of harder on myself.” –Jasmine Hosley

“Throughout my entire life I kind of felt the most pressure because I’m the only child. I’ve always been, like the ‘brain’. My cousins would always call me that and say I was a nerd. And so, I always felt like I had to live up to that, you know, title of what was given to me. Because I knew, like, no one else was fitting that at the time” –Brittany Colvin

Terri Floyd summed up the role of the parent perfectly:

“I had my family, my parents are encouragers.”

To all you parents out there with daughters headed off to college, “Be encouragers!” Your daughters want and need your support for a successful college transition and experience. Remember, you both have the same priority; to succeed! 

Introducing…#WhatSheNeedsIs

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Recently, Polished Pebbles Girls Mentoring Program has been turning our attention to college students. We have shared a collegebit about Polished Pebbles: College Edition and what the media has to say about African American women students. And now, we want you to hear from these very women! #WhatSheNeedsIs will provide insights into the experiences of black women in college. Although they are topping the charts in college enrollment, black women are not necessarily seeing the results of their hard work post graduation. We want to know why! From the freshman transition to the affects of social media, these women have a lot to say! Through #WhatSheNeedsIs, we hope to learn a little more about what she needs to succeed–what did their institutions have and what were they lacking?

As an introduction to the #WhatSheNeedsIs series, we will give you some brief snippets that capture the confusion, excitement, and challenge of the college experience.

“[College] was just like a whole new experience for me. So I had questions, you know, about how it was different from high school.” –Terri Floyd

While high school was beneficial, it was not a proper preparation for college:

“While I was ready, I was also not ready. Because I felt like, while they were getting us ready for college, there was a lot of ways for us to get around in high school. Like if you didn’t want to do your homework…you could have wrote anything down and not actually do your homework.” –Sadariah Harrell

“As far as maturity, academics from high school to college was a challenge. But I’m glad my school was able to help mold me into what I was supposed to be at the institution.” –Courtney Neal

There is always some lingering hesitations before starting the college track:

“When I first began college my constant thought was am I going to be good enough for the institution, you know? When I apply to these schools, will they accept me? And that was definitely something I was most nervous about because I am a first generation, black college student in my family.” –Brittany Colvin

And a final piece of advice:

“Get involved. Don’t forget the purpose you’re going for…find that balance. You gotta have a little bit of fun, but remember your ultimate goal. And make sure you enjoy it while it lasts. Because when they say time flies by, it really does” –Jasmine Hosley

Thriving or Just Surviving?

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Recently, Kelly Fair and Polished Pebbles Girls Mentoring Program have been pushing college mentoring. This isn’t only because we are developing our College Edition mentoring program, it is important! The media is filled with mixed messages about African-American women, especially college students.

What is the college experience for black women? According to HuffPost: College, black students have, are, and will continue to experience discrimination and microaggressions on campus.

A student at Duke University hung a noose from a tree in Durham, North Carolina, campus on April 1. This came about a week after the university began investigating reports that a group of white men had harassed a black female. The men were reportedly singing the same racist chant…

According to one student, “Institutionalized racism has created spaces for Duke–and for colleges nationally…”.

Despite the negative and harmful experiences, black women are leading all groups in college enrollment! That is independent-black-womensomething to celebrate! But, how can we expect to keep African American women in college if their experiences on campus are not supportive or downright violent?

According to the data, 9.7 percent of Black women are enrolled in college. Asian women are second, with 8.7 percent working toward degrees, followed by Asian men at 8.4 percent, White women at 7.1 percent, Black men at 7.0 percent, Hispanic women at 6.6 percent, White men at 6.1 percent, and Hispanic men at 5.9 percent.

Despite the high enrollment rates, our women are not seeing success in the work force. ThinkProgress writes about a study conducted by Black Women’s Roundtable, the women’s initiative of the National Coalition on Black Civic Participation. In their research, they found that although African American women are excelling in education and careers, they are not being equally compensated! While many people know the 77 cents to a dollar, few know that this is for white women when compared to white men. Black women make 64 cents to a dollar when compared to white men!

Race and gender bias intersect to limit access to traditional capital for Black women.

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So, what is the African American women’s experience in college? Are they thriving or simply surviving? Is their community supportive in their future success? Next week we will be sharing insights from our interviews with current college students! Check back then!

Sharing Knowledge: HBCU Nation

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As you know from our previous post, Collegiate Mentoring, Polished Pebbles is planning on expanding with College Edition. African-American women in college are just as in need of mentoring and support as younger girls. With our continued support, increasing rates of black women will be attending college and earning degrees. In fact, according to ClutchMag, black women make up the most college enrollments–now that is a success! We want this to continue. Kelly Fair has shared her hopes of providing mentoring to college students. Simply have college interns is not enough, she wants more direct, group support on campuses.

Recently on HBCU Nation, Kelly Fair shared her views on collegiate mentoring–why we need it and how we can benefit from it. Click here to give it a listen!

Tell us what you think of collegiate mentoring for African-American women? What type of support would you have wanted during your college experience?

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What You Can Learn From Cameka Smith

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Last week we shared with you Cynthia Boykin of What U Need Is… Today we want everyone to know about Cameka Smith of BOSS Network.

screen-shot-2014-12-10-at-10-42-51-pmCameka Smith is the founder of BOSS Network, “Bringing Out Successful Sisters”. With a Master’s in Education, Cameka has dedicated herself to supporting the entrepreneurial spirit in women. As BOSS Network so succinctly and powerfully describes their founder, “Speaker, trainer, and award-winning entrepreneur…BOSS Network has evolved into a go-to resource for companies seeking female influencers as their target market. A one-stop-shop for career and entrepreneurial minded women”.

What Is She Proud Of?

Cameka Smith finds pride in her educational achievement. Coming from “an environment where most of my peers were looked at as a statistic”, her MA in Education helps her to work for change in her community! During her teaching career, she found enjoyment in working with at-risk youth. When her students follow their dreams she is able to see the impact she has had–their successes become her successes. This has been her constant reward. Her transition into BOSS Network only added to her positive influence in her community. Cameka is proud to be seen as an expert or industry influencer in her field.

Who Have Been Her Mentors, Her Motivators?

Cameka Smith sees the “every day women in her life”, her mother and aunts, as her greatest motivators. She came from a big, connected, and loving family that always maintained faith and commitment to one another and community. Seeing their commitment and love inspired her to maintain the same values. They have encouraged her to have a dedication to service and helping others. Cameka acknowledges her teachers, professors, and counselors who encouraged her to attain her Masters. Her education has truly helped her get to where she is today. The very women she works with through the BOSS Network are her mentors. They inspire her to keep working harder, to be creative.

Does She Think She’s A Mentor? …Because We Sure Do!

Cameka Smith first saw herself as a mentor when she began her career in education. She saw the need to provide positive role models for her students and other youth, so she acted! She began to create mentor programs for students. She wanted to showcase young professionals; let them “see what they can become” from “all walks of life”. She encourages youth, especially young girls, to join mentoring programs and to push their future visions. Cameka sees her entire career as building up youth into confident, successful young adults. We are thankful for Cameka and her work!

Now, What Does She Hope To See From Her Community?

Cameka reminds us all that “if you have lived on this earth, then you have something that you’ve been through…that you can share with another person”. So, do just that! She would like to see more community involvement in mentoring programs for youth (at Polished Pebbles, we agree!). Cameka sees women of color as essential contirbuters to their communities because they are natural role models and leaders. Cameka wants me to remind readers that for her, it was the “everyday women” who had the greatest impact on her. Which means there is nothing standing in your way!

People need hope, and sometimes we forget that hope exists within all of us. Mentors can be the spark that ignites the fire. Thank you Cameka for sharing this message with us!

Women on the Web: Interviews with Women Mentors You Should Know!

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At KellyFairtheMentor.com, we had the opportunity to interview two beautiful, influential women–Cameka Smith of BOSS Network and Cynthia Boykin of What U Need Is… We are happy to share with you a combined presentation of their insights and inspirations for mentoring and strengthening community!

First, a little bio on our wonderful Women on the Web. Cameka Smith is the founder of BOSS Network. Screen Shot 2014-12-10 at 10.42.51 PMWith a Master’s in Education, Cameka has dedicated herself to supporting the entrepreneurial spirit in women. As BOSS Network so succinctly and powerfully describes their founder, “Speaker, trainer, and award-winning entrepreneur…BOSS Network has evolved into a go-to resource for companies seeking female influencers as their target market. A one-stop-shop for career and entrepreneurial minded women”. Screen Shot 2014-12-10 at 10.48.39 PM

Cynthia Boykin, “The Master Networker”, is the founder of What U Need Is…an essential connection between businesses and consumers in Chicago. As is said about the founder, “Cynthia is known for being able to build relationships connecting the right people together skillfully and swiftly.”

What Are They Proud Of?

Both of these women are proud of the paths their lives have taken…with some overlap! Cameka Smith finds pride in her educational achievement. Coming from “an environment where most of my peers were looked at as a statistic”, her MA in Education helps her to work for change in her community! When her students follow their dreams she is able to see the impact she has had on youth–their successes are her successes; a constant reward. Her transition into BOSS Network only added to her positive influence in her community. Speaking of BOSS Network, Cynthia Boykin is proud to be on the leadership board! Through this opportunity she was able to meet one of her mentors, Beverly Johnson (first black woman on the cover of Vogue). Following in her mentors footsteps, Cynthia was honored by being on the cover of Black Pages International Magazine in 2011 and 2012! She’s proud to be part of such a vibrant, successful community of women entrepreneurs and business owners.

Who Have Been Their Mentors, Their Motivators?

Cynthia Boykin cannot think of a positive influence on her life without remembering her mother. Cynthia says that she is a “woman who lead by example”. In 1952 she joined the Women’s Army Corps, pushing gender boundaries to find fulfillment in her life. Similarly, Cameka Smith sees the “every day women in her life”, her mother and aunts, as her greatest motivators. She came from a big, connected, and loving family that always maintained faith and commitment to one another and community. The very women she works with through the BOSS Network are her mentors. They keep her sharp and engaged as they eagerly strive to network and succeed. Both of these women have found that the women in their lives have been role models. They have shown Cynthia and Cameka positive, successful examples of women; whether that is mother and wife or business owner and entrepreneur. Cynthia gave a warmly appreciated shout out to Kelly Fair, citing her work with Polished Pebbles as one of the best young girls mentoring program in Chicago. Thank you Ms. Cynthia Boykin!

Polished Pebbles works to provide these examples of women to our girls. As we have learned from Cameka and Cynthia, this can positively influence their self-perception, and goal setting! When surrounded by such intelligent, strong women it is hard not to set such high goals!

Do They Think Their Mentors? …Because We Sure Do!

Cameka Smith first saw herself as a mentor when she began her career in education. She saw the need to provide positive role models for her students and other youth, so she acted! She began to create mentor programs for students. She wanted to showcase young professionals; let them “see what they can become” from “all walks of life”. Although she artfully evaded the question, we are here to tell her, Cameka Smith, you are a mentor! She encourages youth, especially young girls, to join mentoring programs to push their visions and extend their platforms. Giving another evasion, Cynthia Boykin described herself as a possible example for other women. We are also here to tell her, Cynthia Boykin, you are a mentor! She is a great resource connector and networker for her clients and community. She will use anything she has and can get to support those she can, utilizing a “I got mine, now let me help you get yours” mentality. She sees her sponsorship, encouragement, and support as an investment in great, upcoming people, businesses, and organizations–future change-makers! They both see their clients and peers as a reciprocal relationship; both teachers and learners, supporters and supported.

Now, What Do They Hope To See From Their Communities?

Both Cynthia Boykin and Cameka Smith want to see you, yes you readers, contributing to your communities! They can be through time, gifts, resources, or any other way of getting involved. Cameka reminds us all that “if you have lived on this earth, then you have something that you’ve been through…that you can share with another person”. So, do just that! She would like to see more community involvement in mentoring programs for youth (at Polished Pebbles, we agree!). Cameka sees women of color as essential contirbuters to their communities because they are natural role models and leaders. Thinking on an organizational level, Cynthia Boykin echoes the same goal, but for businesses! She wants to see more community center businesses that are dedicated to the growth of their communities. If they build reciprocal relationships, then businesses can connect more with their consumers!

We all need hope in our lives. Only by sharing our stories, experiences, advice, and wisdom with others can we encourage hope to grow!

Thank You, Cameka Smith And Cynthia Boykin!

These two women have been so supportive of Polished Pebbles and the work that we do with our girls, that we want to take the time to thank them for the work that they do! By creating their networks, they are able to connect mostly women of color with essential resources to grow their businesses and names. Without them, there would definitely be less sharing and caring here in Chicago. We hope you see the positve impact you have on individuals, organizations, and communities…because we do!

Readers, get to know these women entrepreneurs, these fellow Women on the Web!

A Role Model on a Mission

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diane latikerKIDS OFF THE BLOCK SAVE A TEEN

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

By Tamara Meyerhoff, Polished Pebbles Intern

My mentoring responsibilities aren’t limited just to working with the school age -girls and female college students in Polished Pebbles.  I also find a tremendous about of satisfaction mentoring college/graduate interns as well.  I’m proud to share this blog post that was written by one of our summer interns Tamara Meyerhoff.  Tamara is a senior at St. Olaf College in Northfield, Minnesota. She is majoring in Social Work with a concentration in Family Studies. This summer she attended the Chicago Center for Urban Life and Culture in Hyde Park. Through her classes she was able to experience the culture of Chicago, from the South Side to the North Side. Tamara also completed two part-time internships–one with me at Polished Pebbles, and the other with United African Organization.

Last week I brought to your attention the effect of the school to prison pipeline on  black youth. The twitter conversation that followed brought up an important fact–mentoring alone is not the solution. As commenters have mentioned, there are systemic and institutional oppressions that are working against black youth, especially in the education system. It is intimidating to imagine tackling these large systems. We just have to remember that we make up the system, the government, the society. Changes starts with us. I strongly believe that everyday individuals are more than capable of inciting change. It takes energy, heart, and faith; but, it is possible. So, although small things, such as mentoring, may seem insignificant in the grand scheme, it is doing something. It is raising us out of our apathy.

Diane Latiker is a prime example of how a concerned resident, with an open heart, began to show the youth in her community the best of themselves. Kids Off the Block is located in one of Chicago’s underserved neighborhoods, Roseland. Diane works with the young men and women of Roseland to build a positive, safe, and creative environment for personal development. Kids Off the Block provides positive alternatives to youth to help them avoid the juvenile justice system. Similar to Polished Pebbles, she helps black youth see themselves in a new light. One that counters the harmful stereotypes. This self-esteem boosting mentoring style is not limited to organizations. It is something that all adults are capable of. Perhaps then, these children will move into another pipeline, the pipeline to careers. All children should grow up believing they have strength, endurance, confidence, and capability.