Tag: beauty

A Healthy Body Image Starts in the Mind!

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By: Lauran A. Smith, Polished Pebbles Correspondent 

What do you think of yourself? Is your perception of who you are determined by what you see?

I was very excited to sit with Polished Pebbles Mentoring on November 14th, as they hosted a discussion on “Healthy Body Image”. It brought me back to my own childhood days, and it forced me to recall that we ALL have experienced a time where we questioned our worth…whether publicly or privately. I was teased as a child about the hue of my skin, and I remember the countless days of returning home, informing my Parents about how the kids talked about me and what they said. One thing is for certain; the Guest Speakers for the Healthy Body Image discussion certainly provided insight as to how they managed to deal with their body image issues.

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Brandi advised: “…choose you, because there is no other you…”. Brandi dealt with the issue of children teasing her about her height, and instead of her allowing someone to make her feel out of place because of this, she embraced it and decided that she would take the route of building off of what others considered to be “different”. She started a special series called “Tall Tales”, and was even given 30 pairs of shoes from Oprah Winfrey herself!

Rocki taught us: “…you’re not going to be accepted 100%–so what…”. Rocki dealt with personal weight issues, and was (at one point) convinced that she would be at a certain weight for the rest of her life. Once she began to work out, change her eating habits, and started to see her results, she was then sought out to teach her own fitness classes, and even has a wait list for people wanting to attend her sessions!

Ashanti gave us a quote that has helped to sustain her: “my Father always said that if you pray for anything, pray for happiness”. Ashanti dealt with body issues, and wanting certain areas of her body to look differently. After leaving California for “The Windy City”, Ashanti had a continued vision to seek her happiness, and is now the owner of 360 Mind Body Soul, the “Physique Factory” which is a one of a kind fitness studio, returning You To You!

A Healthy Body Image truly begins in your own mind, and not in another’s perception of you. With social media, reality television, and the internet sensations running rampant with plastic surgery and the like, our girls need to be reminded that who they are is “enough”!

“Healthy” Body Image simply means that there is a positive view of “you”, flaws and all!

Healthy Body Image

White By Default Affects Our Girls

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When talking about body image and how it affects our young girls, it is important to address an important factor. Idealized beauty, in the United States and many other countries, is Eurocentric. Meaning, white facial features, fashion trends, body VF-2012-Cover-210x300shape, and skin tone are idealized. According to Beauty Redefined, “Images of white women dominate all media – especially roles or depictions featuring “beautiful” or desirable women, not funny sidekicks, the chunky best friend, the hired help or other stereotypes.”

It would be silly and ill-informed to assume that this does not affect our young, black girls. When they don’t see girls on TV with curly, coily hair or darker skin, they start to believe that their natural selves should be hidden. Kadia Blagrove writes fashion articles and for the longest time never noticed that all her articles centered on women that looked nothing like her. She had been socialized into believing that “white is default”. Kadia writes, “First of all, diversity within the media is largely unbalanced. Diversity really means 90% white people and a few token people of color here and there.”

Sometimes I feel as if I need permission to be black. –Kadia Blagrove

Before we start pointing to black women in media who have become popular role models, such as Beyonce, we must read this from Beauty Redefined:

Though beautiful women of color like Beyonce, Jennifer Lopez, Queen Latifah, Rihanna, Jennifer Hudson, Halle Berry and others have achieved renown in U.S. culture, media representations of these women have become increasingly “anglicized” or “whitewashed” over time, with lighter-colored, straighter hair, lighter makeup, colored contacts and often shrinking figures. –Beauty Redefined

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Check out the website for their photos on how these celebrities “looks” have been altered throughout the years by style teams and digital media.

We need to show our girls that beautiful women of color exist! That they are present and powerful. Girls should not be pressured to straighten their hair or lighten their skin to be beautiful. It should be a personal choice made by their own decision, not by society’s beauty standards.

How can you help?

  • Show your girls beautiful, strong women who look like them
  • Alter their media choices to include more shows, magazines, or movies that include women of color
  • Engage in conversations about beauty and race
  • Empower your girls to love themselves
  • Be a role model, be a mentor

And, attend our November Second Saturday event on body image with 360 Mind Body Soul Fitness Studio!

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When Did You Stop Seeing Your Beauty?

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According to CNN, it may be as young as 5 years. Starting at this young age, girls are becoming hyper aware of their bodies, more specifically, their “thinness”. By age 7, one in four girls have either restricted their eating or engaged in some form dieting to get closer to their ideal body weight. This is no longer a teenage problem.

Girls are being pressured to conform to perceived societal beauty standards. Although we know bodies on magazine covers are photoshopped, they still press in our minds as the ideal. This isn’t just about beauty anymore…it is about health. The pressure and anxiety girls are feeling to be “beautiful” are pushing them towards unhealthy practices. Negative body image and self-esteem can lead to eating-disorders, depression, relationships problems, and even long term health problems or struggles with addiction. It is time to stop the fat talk.

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We want to turn that message around! We want our girls to know that they are…

B E A U T I F U L.

A lot of the negative body image comes from internal views of oneself, and when you can really shift that conversation from how does someone look to how does someone feel, then kids can really start to think about what their choices are and how they have control over how they feel, and that brings positive self-esteem and self-awareness.

What can you do to to support your daughter?

  • victorias-secret1Have a conversation. To really be able to understand what is going on with your daughter, you have to know what she is thinking. Engage her in conversation about body image and health. The more comfortable she is sharing with you, the more likely you will know if her thoughts or behaviors become unhealthy.
  • Be a role model. As the article states, our girls learn from us. Show them what a strong, confident, beautiful woman looks like…everyone! Let them know that there is more to beauty than society’s standards. Give them confidence by showing them yours.
  • Prioritize health. We were always taught of the connection between body weight and size and health. But, an ideal, healthy body for one woman looks completely different for another. Body size and health do not go hand in hand. Let your daughter know that she can be healthy at any size! By focusing her attention on being healthy, it becomes easier to shed negative thoughts. Instead of having her goal be to fit into a size 2, have it be to run 2 miles. Small differences can lead to big changes in your daughters mentality.
  • Surround her with support. Let your daughter know that she is not the only one struggling with these thoughts about her body and her size. Nearly all women (dare I say all women) perceive flaws in their appearance, causing stress and anxiety. Make sure she is surrounded by positive voices and love. See if she wants to be involved in a volunteer program, sports team, mentoring program, or another type of group activity that encourages her to form strong friendships.

If you’re interested in reading the research article, click here…