I Did Not Know That People Like Me Could Exist…

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Chimamanda Adichie is a rockin’ novelist from Nigeria. In her TedTalk, Chimamanda shares her personal story of growing up in Nigeria reading only stories about white children with blonde hair and blue eyes. When she began to write, these characters filled her pages; though she could not relate in any way. As the media around her, books, only portrayed white children in stories, she did not know that people who looked like her could be in literature!

From then on, Chimamanda became aware of these “single stories” we develop about people and places. When we only portray people or places in a single way, they become stereotypes. These stereotypes then dominate the identities we create about others and ourselves.

Although Chimamanda speaks to Africa, the same theories can be applied to the United States, most notably, African-Americans. From the historic beginnings of black face to the more recent token person of color, the portrayal of African-Americans by mainstream media has been poor. While we may naively assume that this is contained to only fictional movies and television shows, it is not. The news and social media have been prominent aggravators of the single story surrounding African-Americans. A recent example of this is the viral video of a New York man slapping a woman on the train after being insulted and hit (read more on my JET post here).

Having these stereotypes continually presented to our youth affect their self-development. As Chimamanda says, “The problem with stereotypes is not that they are untrue, but that they are incomplete”. Without the full story we cannot properly mentor and support our youth. Without analyzing communities, schools, and society we cannot begin to understand the family or the youth. We must search for the full story.

How do we do this as mentors, parents, teachers, friends, or community members? WE TALK TO OUR YOUTH! They can provide us their stories.

Do not fall for the danger of the single story.

How will you create an alternate ending?

KFair Mentoring Tip #1: Diversity in Leadership

This is the first KFair Mentoring Tip in a series of monthly insights to provide guidance and encouragement for mentors and entrepreneurs. To keep with October’s theme of women entrepreneurs, this month’s mentoring tip is about diverse leadership.

To keep it short, WE NEED IT!

According to Tracy Williams from Unsectored:

“It is important for the leadership of organizations to appropriately reflect the demographics of the population it seeks to serve…and understands the culture, unique pressures and obstacles…”

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Kelly Fair with new friends, connections, colleagues, and leaders at Opportunity Collaboration in Ixtapa, Mexico.

As you may know, I spent the last week at an Opportunity Collaboration workshop in Ixtapa, Mexico. The goal of this workshop? To introduce global leaders in social change to one another! The diverse group of people present at this workshop not only led to valuable connections, but also new perspectives, talents, and thought processes we can all learn from.

Again, Williams talks about a similar goal with her call for diversity in thought leadership:

“When combating complex interconnected social problems…leaders are needed from various backgrounds to attack the problem innovatively.”

Her three steps for increasing diversity in leadership roles:

  1. Invest in Talent
  2. Build a Leadership Pipeline
  3. Build Networks across the Sectors–not only across public, private, and non-profit sectors, but sectors of individual identity as well!

Young, African-American girls need to see older, professional women who look like them succeeding in leadership roles! That has been the continuous message this month. By seeing black women as leaders, they will start to see themselves as developing leaders and act as such. You can help support our youth by taking on leadership roles yourselves, or by electing others for leadership positions.

Let’s change the system!

Can African-American Women Lean In?

Sheryl Sandberg, the current Chief Operations Officer (COO) of Facebook, inspired many women with her book Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead. She has three main tips for women to not only succeed in the workplace, but breakthrough societal barriers of sexism:

  1. Sit at the table
  2. Make your partner a real partner
  3. Don’t leave before you leave

Listen to her Lean In Ted Talk to learn more about these three tips and her path to success!

While women (and men) are agreeing with Sheryl Sandberg, African-American women are questioning whether “leaning in” is enough for success. According to Natasha Robinson from Urban Faith, Sheryl Sandberg, while admonishing the systems of sexism that are holding women back, remains silent on barriers of race. This has caused her to question whether Sandberg recognizes her own white privilege. While this does not eliminate or diminish the successes of Sandberg, it does mean that opportunities had been present in her life that most likely would not have been for a woman of color.

In this article, Natasha Robinson interviews Dr. Livers, the Senior Design Faculty of the global Center of Creative Leadership in Greensboro, North Carolina. Dr. Livers states, “She wrote a book for professional women and she wrote from the perspective of a privileged white woman. However, just because her perspective is somewhat limited, does not mean that others who do not share her privilege cannot benefit from reading her book.”

In an excerpt from Sheryl Sandberg’s new book, Lean In: For Graduates, Ariel Investments President Mellody Hobson, an African American woman, shares how black women are prepared for life long discrimination in their professional lives.  In the excerpt, Melody states, “All women struggle, but women of color must overcome ‘double jeopardy’, the one-two punch of sexism and racism. The achievement gap between women and men is even larger in the African-American and Latino communities than it is in the White community.”

As a mentoring professional, I’m driven to determine how do I adapt the Lean In discussion for the young African American I serve in communities, schools, and college campuses across the country.What are your thoughts on Lean In? How can we adapt the Lean In discussion for African-American women of all ages?

Can Mentoring Break The Prison Pipeline?

School To Prison Pipeline

By Tamara Meyerhoff, Polished Pebbles Intern

My mentoring responsibilities aren’t limited just to working with the school age -girls and female college students in Polished Pebbles.  I also find a tremendous about of satisfaction mentoring college/graduate interns as well.  I’m proud to share this blog post that was written by one of our summer interns Tamara Meyerhoff.  Tamara is a senior at St. Olaf College in Northfield, Minnesota. She is majoring in Social Work with a concentration in Family Studies. This summer she attended the Chicago Center for Urban Life and Culture in Hyde Park. Through her classes she was able to experience the culture of Chicago, from the South Side to the North Side. Tamara also completed two part-time internships–one with me at Polished Pebbles, and the other with United African Organization.

As national news continually reports the alarming increase in gun violence in Chicago, I’d like to share with you this infographic from Tavis Smiley Reports on PBS. The school to prison pipeline is the education and juvenile justice system working in tandem to incarcerate mostly lower class minorities. According to the article, schools will unfairly target minority students to be criminally charged for minor acts. As the graphic shows, in 2013, 70% of in-school arrests were of black or Latino youth. Even more shocking, black and Latino students are 3.5 times for likely to be suspended than white students.

The author believes that this harsh reality affects the self-perception of black youth. By constantly being surrounded by a negative stereotype, they start to believe they are nothing more than that stereotype—violent, aggressive, hot-tempered, and criminal. Polished Pebbles is one organization working to fight against the cycle of the school to prison pipeline. It does this in a subtle way. The Polished Pebbles curriculum changes the way African-American girls perceive themselves as young black women. One high school student reported, “Before Polished Pebbles, I had a horrible attitude. Now, I learned that I have to control my attitude because those same people can help me with my future”. Listen to Polished Pebbles success Pertesha share her story through the foster care system. Furthermore, these girls have dreams of becoming doctors, dentists, and even accountants.

These girls have grown because they were surrounded by role models who told them they are capable and deserving individuals. As the article has shown, this is where the school system has been failing black youth. It is here that organizations, communities, and individuals can begin to break the school to prison pipeline.

Share with us in the comments below what can you do in your community to help one youth from entering the school to prison pipeline?

tamara meyerhoff

Tamara Meyerhoff, Polished Pebbles Intern