Author: kellyfairthementor

Polished Pebbles Girls Mentoring Program strives to prepare our girls to not only be effective in the workplace, but also be supportive friends. Our Communication Pillar states:

Our focus is mentoring girls to become strong, effective communicators in all aspects, including interpersonal communication and communicating respectfully with adults and peers.

We strive to supplement the traditional learning our girls get in school by focusing on more social-emotional learning skills. Just as with reading and writing, they are a set of competencies that help people to succeed in life.

One competency is Relationship Skills.

What are relationship skills?

It is the ability to establish and maintain healthy and rewarding relationships with diverse individuals and groups. These are the skills to:

• Effectively communicate
• Actively listen
• Cooperate with others
• Negotiate conflict

As a parent/guardian, what can I do to further my child’s relationship skills?

There are many things you can do at home to help your child develop relationship skills! Including:

• Teach and model empathy
• Involve your child in community groups or sports
• Have family members share “highs” and “lows” of the day
• Have friends over for a playdate
• Ask for your child’s opinion in small family decisions

How will I know my child has developed positive relationship skills?

You will see your child develop positive friendships. They also might show the following qualities:

• Have emotional awareness
• Be able to compromise
• Know how handle conflict

This week, Kelly Fair was the guest star on Kasmer Quinn’s show “Be Relevant”. Listen to her share the Polished Pebbles story. Did you know Kelly worked as a bank teller while developing her signature mentoring program? Check out the show below and hear some inspiration to be the best you can be for Chicago!

And thank you Kasmer for inviting Kelly Fair on your show!

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jmn-gErBljY&w=640&h=360]

Last Saturday, Polished Pebbles hosted its April Second Saturday event with GirlTrek. They lead a walking tour around Bronzeville to teach our girls the history of the neighborhood and its importance to the city. Which has lead us to ask you, “How much do you know about Bronzeville”?

Here’s your chance to improve your Bronzeville knowledge with some quick facts and information.

How did “Bronzeville” get it’s name?

From the 1920’s to the 1950s, the neighborhood now known as “Bronzeville” was a hub for African American business and culture. In 1930, a theater editor for the Chicago Bee, James J. Gentry, suggested his term “Bronzeville” be used as the name for the area as it reflected the skin tone of those who lived there. And it stuck!

What was Bronzeville most popular for?

This neighborhood was where it was happening late at night! People came through to go to dance and listen to music all night. In fact, the Regal Theater opened in 1920 and was the go to spot for upcoming and successful black entertainers.

Why is this neighborhood so important anyway?

Well, on top of being the hit music and dance scene, Bronzeville was a safe space for black men and women to be intellectuals, artists, business owners, and thrive! During the time period of its uprising, segregation was raging throughout Chicago. Bronzeville opened up alternative businesses and community centers, such as the Wabash YMCA and the Provident Hospital.

We hope you picked up some information you didn’t know beforehand. Make sure you take the time to explore Bronzeville as the weather gets warmer. Remember, the more you know about your history, the more informed you are about the present!

(All information from this post is from Encycolopedia of Chicago and WTTW).

Last Wednesday, our nation was shook when it was announced that 14 black and latina girls had gone missing in one day in Washington D.C. Although this news turned out to be misinterpreted, it brings an important conversation to the table.

Do the lives and struggles of young girls of color go unnoticed?

Even though the 14 girls did not all go missing on the same day in D.C. There were still 14 missing black and latina girls. I don’t know about you, but that is 14 more than I am comfortable with.

While some of these girls may be repeat runaways, it should not detract from the core of this problem. The core being that our communities may not be doing enough to support our young black and latina girls.

A New York Times article about the missing girls states the following:

According to a 2016 report by the National Conference of State Legislatures, 46 percent of runaways and homeless youth report being having been physically abused, 38 percent report being emotionally abused and 17 percent report being forced into unwanted sexual activity with a relative or member of their household. Claims that black girls leave home voluntarily, if not coupled with an examination of all the reasons they might feel they need to leave, encourage the public to see black girls not as children in need of protection but adults responsible for their own predicament. As a result, few in authority do anything for them.

We need to stand up for our girls and give them the support and love they need to thrive in society. Polished Pebbles has continually stated that black girls live in the same neighborhoods and witness the same violence as black boys, yet do not receive the same supports. We have to ask ourselves why: Why have the struggles of black girls and women stayed under the radar for so long?

And what can we do to change that?

We need local and national advocates for girls and women of color in the United States. Simply advocating for the rights of women does not account for the complex struggles facing women of color. We cannot forget intersectionality of identity, which needs to be reflected in mainstream feminism. And of course, all change can start with you. You can change the narrative surrounding young girls of color. You can be that spark and voice that keeps them safe and thriving.

Only with a collaborative, nation-wide effort can we raise these issues from underground. Give light to our girls. Because only together can she shine!

By now many of you may have seen the National Women’s Law Center video for the Let Her Learn campaign. If not, please watch it below!

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FKUNLrMXic&w=560&h=315]

Many schools are not safe spaces for young women of color. As you saw in the video, many young, black girls are unfairly and unjustly treated by school policies and officials. Is this to say all schools support policies based on racist and sexist stereotypes? No! But these are not isolated incidents and the trend cannot be ignored.

If you know Polished Pebbles, then you know that this is why we exist. We exist to support our girls in their schools and home communities. We want them to feel safe, accepted, and confident in all spaces they enter. While we cannot guarantee others will treat them with respect, we aim to give them the knowledge to navigate these situations with their heads held high.

Through this direct work with our girls, we advocate for their well-beings in the larger education system. We hope that one day they will not be judged by the darkness of their skin, the style of their hair, or the power in their voice. Young, black girls deserve a fair and honest education in a school that respects and believes in their potential. We hope that you can stand with us.

Advocate for your schools and communities to become safe spaces for girls of color.

Although stereotypes are formed from ignorance, they have a way of sticking around. Like labels, they become false defining features of groups of people. Some of us spend our lives trying to shake these definitions and defy stereotypes. While it is hard to lump all women into one group as there are so many diversities, differences, and intersecting identities making up each individual woman, there are consistent stereotypes.

We hope that you feel inspired to redefine your stereotypes.

Women are overly emotional. When women show emotion they are seen as being weak and incapable. This is especially true when they are compared to men. Acknowledging and expressing emotions is a powerful trait. It shows empathy and care. Don’t be afraid to show and express emotion to others, even in leadership roles. Being tuned in to your emotions as those of your team make you a more effective leader.

Black women are loud. You have the right to be loud. You have the right to be angry and frustrated. Don’t let a stereotype scare you from stating your opinion. Reclaim this stereotype as a symbol of your power. You can be loud and make a difference whether through word or action.

Women dislike one another. This stereotype has permeated media. Television, movies, songs, you name it, there are women competing against one another. Women are portrayed as caddy and shallow as they complete for usually a boy’s attention. Don’t let this stereotype define you! Don’t believe that the only relationship you can have with another woman is a combative one. Sisterhood is important. Healthy, supportive relationships will carry you through many obstacles.

All women want children. A woman is not defined by her family. She does not gain her identity through her children. A woman without a child is not any more or less a woman. While we are moving away from this stereotype as a society, it is still the norm to assume a woman will marry and have children. Challenge yourself to believe more for your future. You can have a family and be successful and you can not have a family and be successful.

During March, Women’s History Month, there is a lot of focus on gender equality. People are analyzing the role of women in history and in current society. There is usually a focus on the workforce, especially the pay gap. There is a lot of pride in the growing number of women entering STEM fields, which is definitely deserving of celebration!

However, we don’t always pay attention to the stereotypically women’s career choices and men entering those fields. These positions are normally direct service and care positions. An article by Claire Cain Miller in the New York Times sheds some insight.

She looks into the growing need for more workers in pink collar jobs. And, with blue collar jobs steadily dropping, men will need to take on these traditionally “women’s work” roles to maintain employment.

Women have always entered male-dominated fields — usually well-paid, professional ones — more than men enter female-dominated ones. There are now many female lawyers, but male nurses are still rare. One reason is that jobs done by women, especially caregiving jobs, have always had lower pay and lower status. Yet when men, especially white men, enter female-dominated fields, they are paid more and promoted faster than women, a phenomenon known as the glass escalator.

Much of men’s resistance to pink-collar jobs is tied up in the culture of masculinity, say people who study the issue.

It is this culture of masculinity that is hurting not only a growing career field, but many men who are finding themselves unemployed. In fact, it is these men that could be key in turning around this stereotype of care positions being women’s work.

If more men do pink-collar jobs, they could erase the stigma and turn them into men’s jobs, said Janette Dill, a sociologist at the University of Akron, at least for jobs that require less hands-on caregiving. “More men will go into care because they don’t have a choice, but they’re going to carve out spaces for themselves that feel less like women’s work,” she said.

While a job is not always a vocation, the idea of women’s and men’s work should not be a deciding factor in pursuing employment. We want both men and women to feel comfortable in all types of careers.

March brings us Women’s History Month. We all know that the sheer power of woman-ness cannot be confined to one month! But, we will accept this time to acknowledge all that women have done to shape and better our world.

In fact, these stats come from an article in International Business Times:

Women are the highest populated demographic: As of July 2015, there were more women living in the U.S. compared to men, according to the Census Bureau. Women accounted for roughly 163.2 million individuals living in the states while there were only about 158.2 million males.

Women make up nearly half of the workforce: There was once a time when a woman couldn’t even land a job, but now the ladies make up 47.4 percent of the civilian labor force. That’s not to mention how women have also been taking much bigger roles with 43.9 percent of women working careers related to life, physical and social science while 24.8 percent of women hold computer and mathematical jobs and 14 percent work in architectural and engineering occupations.

Because that is the true power of Women’s History Month! It reminds us that we are capable human beings that can influence and change our surroundings. Mainstream sexism in society can make women feel powerless, but it is far from the truth. Remember to let yourself SHINE!

Want to be inspired by powerful black women? Check out this list of articles from The Undefeated in honor of Women’s History Month: https://theundefeated.com/features/for-national-womens-history-month-stories-of-undefeated-black-women/

This Saturday, Polished Pebbles is hosting our annual Daddy Daughter Dance at Donoghue Charter School. We use this day to celebrate the important role of men in our young girl’s lives. We know that not all young women have father’s present at home, so we host a non-traditional Daddy Daughter Dance. You can bring your brother, uncle, friend, or no man at all. We have wonderful men who are volunteering their time to accompany the girls who attend our Daddy Daughter Dance.

Because men, your girls need you, too! We hope to see you Saturday!